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I been a longhair for roughly 3 years now. Hair is down to about my upper chest region.
Well brothers, I have to say this has been difficult. 90% of the time I keep my hair up, when I go around town and do my daily tasks. Go to work, etc.
On the days I wear my hair down, I am treated 100% different. I get looks of scorn. People are afraid of me. People avoid eye contact. Now I usually keep my hair up most of the time, everyday, for the past several months.
But on days I try to be "me" - Well; let the festivities stop. I'm treated more like a scoungrel, a bum, someone to avoid when the hair is down. Perhaps I should trim it. Not sure.
When my hair is down, I look like a hells angels biker, or something. When it's up, I look like an Elvis presley, or Paul newman kinda guy.
And now I'll talk about the ladies. With my hair up and tied back, I get significant positive response to them. When my hair is down. Forget it. I'm invisible and must be avoided. heh.
So brothers, truth is, I havn't really been having my hair down now for a long time, and I am wondering if I really am a "Long hair" on the inside. Perhaps I am not. Perhaps on the inside, I'm really a clean cut guy.
Anyway needless to say it's been pretty difficult to maintain that longhair persona that I beleive i am on the inside. Or do I believe I am that persona? It's hard to say. Lot of my idols are rock musicians fromt he 60's 70's and 80's. I had my hair long as a kid. The stigma wasn't that bad in the 90.s
Being a male in my 30's, and walking through the store with my hair down, I'm treated like a complete outcast. A weirdo and a freak. Truth is I am kind of tired of feeling this way. It drains me energy to feel like a threat to people I'm around.
Unfortunately I live in a city where alternative lifestyles aren't very encouraged. I live in an area where everyone are clean cut blue collar types. Lots of military. It's rough to be a long hair in this area.
Need some words of encouragement and help. Some day I plan on moving to Los Angeles or another town where alternative lifestyles are more prevalent. But for now I keep my hair up. Any tips brothers?
Oooh! Complicated. He who tries to please everybody pleases nobody. I too find women preferring me with my hair tied up. It is an old rule that a woman with loose hair was a woman of loose morals! In the conservative buzz-cut clone circles in the USA, I suppose you have to be careful. I always tie up my hair (low ponytail) for anything formal.
I suggest you tie up your hair in public and "let your hair down" at home. After all, that's where the expression comes from. In France where I live, it's a liberal country and no one could care less.
I see no reason why you shouldn't keep your long hair if you want. Yet a good reason for the "two week" rule: if you are considering cutting, only do so after thinking about it for at least 2 weeks, never on impulse.
Live in society but be yourself.
Anthony
You don't say where you live. I wear my hair down most of the time, sometimes i'll wear it in a pony tail, bun, braid, pig tail to prevent damage. I've never noticed any difference in the way i'm treated either way.
I'm 62 years old, have had long hair since 1964, and live in an area where long hair on guys is not uncommon.
Ultimately it's up to you to decide what to do with your hair. Personally i'd suggest sticking it out and keeping the hair long.
Your post reads a bit like a "been there, done that" to me. When I was young and first wore my hair long, I loved having long hair, but there were always those grinches that don't like your look. I fluctuated, going back and forth between long and short hair before finally saying to heck with it. Now I rather enjoy the occasional frowning ole fart because it's the best way to distinguish the people worth knowing from those who are not. When I had short hair I realized those people who have disdain for guys with long hair and other people who distinguish themselves are the people I really would sooner avoid, anyway.
One of my favorite quotes:
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.” ― Bernard M. Baruch
That said, you might want to get your hair into a bit better shape during it's down time. That is, good conditioning, end trimming, brushing and so forth. I've long found that when your hair is very good looking-- whether long or short-- people tend to be more accepting and appreciative. This is especially true of women.
One thing I would mention is alot of it comes down to age.
When I was younger I got lots of complaints about my hair.
Once I reached the age of 45 the complaints stopped..
When you're young people love to dump all over you.
Totally agree. The older you get, it seems the more leeway people give you for being different (eccentric?). I gave up trying to fit the mold years ago.
That said, most people seem to put so little thought into, well, anything. And passing them on the street gives them a fraction of a second to categorize you. Is there another thing you could change about your appearance that would contradict whatever stereotype they are trying to put on you?
Thanks for sharing that interesting "problem". It would be great if you could post a couple of photos (hair up and hair down).
Some of us have hair that is unruly when not tied back which can give a negative perception. I tend to keep mine in a ponytail when working or dressed-up, although I do not get negativity when it is down.
As others have said, do what you are comfortable with.
Disclaimer first: in San Francisco, over 50, very long somewhat wavy hair, probably up 90% of the time I am out.
Nothing wrong with keeping your hair up, more protective, safer (esp if you work with machinery), more controlled...and leads to easier hair care and better growth.
OK, so when your hair is up, you present very differently...
Or consider the style when it is down.
So, the project will be to try to find a style with it down, or partly down, or something that looks sleeker or differently polished than Hells Angel.
Possibly, see above. My best responses are hair down (not necessarily perfect, looking a bit scroungy...if you take best response as getting whistled at. Dressed better with down and preened is better than hair up. Mountain man facial hair is a minus.
Clean cut, or simply a more polished look is not necessarily incompatible with long hair. It is how you wear your long hair, how you present yourself when your hair is down.
If you pass, when your hair is up, then no shame in protective coloration, especially if you plan on moving to a better place.
It would be interesting to see pictures of you with the hair up and down. And probably be better able to make suggestions.
Anyway, good growing. The hair is for you, not the people around you.
Great advice Trolleypup!
Don't go for a suit and tie, a button down or polo shirt will do.
Bruce
Just curious, where do you live? I live on the west coast of America and I can tell you, nobody cares about long hair here.
It's sooo nice, isn't it. Or maybe they just keep their mouths shut about it more?
Although I have noticed, when I go to more conservative areas, I mostly get a pass for being a "foreigner" as well as being so damned far out of the normal range that I am a uniquity or strange rarity and bypass the normal harassment.
I live in the Inland Empire Region
I see. I had to look that one up. "Inland Empire Region" sounded like it might be in Britain or someplace, but it's California east of LA. You'd think people would be pretty cool in those parts.
Now where you live in California I'm really surprised by this.
During the times i've been to California i've found people to be very long hair friendly. I never encountered anyone negative towards long haired men.
The Inland Empire is one of quite a number of conservative regions in California. In fact if you split the state east vs. west, you would end with one very red state and one blue state. You don't hear to much about this strip of California conservatism since the population is vastly greater on the coast side.
I can identify with feeling like a bit of an outcast, though perhaps in a different setting. My parents can't stand my hair and are very conservative. While the comments now come less frequently because they are somewhat resigned they still can't stand it. There is a significant amount of peer pressure form my family in general to cut.
I get mixed response outside of my family. I generally like to tie it back in a ponytail which doesn't get as positive response as when I wear a bun. And I still have some friends that tell me it looked better before but I just do my thing and most people just get used to it. You just can't worry about what others think too much and just be you.
Just wear it the way you want, never think about what others may say/think, you be the strong one, they are the weak ones.
I have had long hair 46 years now (since the ripe young age of 11 !!).
My hair is curly, hangs on my shoulders. I work in IT as Manager !! never any issues with hair as first impression ---- I'm clean, well groomed, dressed. When I have gone out on interviews, I pulled my hair in a ponytail, wear a suit/tie, and sharp. I have a moustache/goatee, hey are trimmed.
I live in USA - NJ, and anything here goes --- earrings, piercings, tattoos, shaved heads, facial hair...
I have always done what I wanted to do, and will always follow that until I'm placed in the ground dead.
Keep the hair ----- as long as that is what you like. You like it down, keep it down.
Cheers,
Bob
