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I've been an undercover long hair for a while. 90% of the time I keep my hair up. When my hair is down, I seem to be pigeonholed. I've been pigeondholed as a stoner, as an artist, and as a musician. The truth is, though I am these things, artist, musician, I am pretty much deep down inside, very conservative.
Interestingly, I am conservative in a right wing fashion. I don't drink, I don't smoke pot, but I do have artistic abilities like playing guitar and doing digital art. Underneath it all, some way or another, I always thought I was a long hair underneath it all. Living in a right-wing town, has been sort of a challenge, because if I am not clean cut I am pigeondholed to the extreme.
Because I've taken this job and have been an uncover long hair for so long; I have been debating on cutting it for the past year. The truth is I want to be a professional musician. I have this nostalgia for classic rock and metal. But I feel like, the world, and everthing around me is wanting me to be against that. It's like the world wants men to be clean cut; and that's the way it is. When I go around with my hair down, i'm not almost always comfortable. But I also feel it signifies part of me as a person and my character. I am identified more with a different crowd.
But I've been stuck in this working class job for a while. Even though my political leanings are more conservative; I feel being that I'm a musician deep down it is conflicting for me because I do not smoke pot nor do I drink; I just happen to love classic rock and metal. I love hippy rock and all that good stuff. But the working class doesn't understand me.
I know I might be making a bigger deal of this then I seem to be; but when I walk around life and 90% of the time my hair up tied back and I'm not really "Who I want to be" - I question why I'm doing this in the first place. Second, to be honest with you, I don't even think I really look good with my hair down. I don't think I have the face for it. Maybe sometimes the personality but I look a lot better and am more receptive when I am clean cut.
Because I've been a longhair now for about 3 years, I've sort of developed a bias towards clean cut men. And I'm sure they have developed a Bias towards me. It's not that, I am against them; but I feel psychologically it puts a filter on your life. You don't "Go with the flow" as easily. You are not always "welcomed" everywhere, thus it makes it challenging. And in fact, I have developed a disdain for clean cut males; in that I feel they have it "Easier" - and are "Groomed for conformity" - not that I feel, they are lesser human beings; butit is painful to go through this.
Cutting my hair, is sort of like cutting my dream. If I cut my hair, given the fact 90% of the time I have my hair up anyway because of work; symbolically I am giving up on my dream; and cutting my hair signifies that I have lost the battle. The battle to one day become a professional musician and be who I really want to be. When I cut my hair, it's a sign that I have given up. And that's why I have not cut it, even though I have debated cutting it for a year now. It's made life more difficult in regards to my acceptance in society. But I am not ready to give up yet, and in a way it has become part of me. I once had a dream that I did cut my hair, and woke up completely depressed.
Even though, when I wake up it's messy and ugly and shaggy, even though that for some reason, I do not find it particulary attractive; I can't come to grips with cutting it. About 14 years ago, back in High school, I was a performer and musician and I was in band. In my 20's I stuggled with addiction and was in and out of jobs for 10 years. I feel like now I've finally come around full circle and my true self is here. the only thing is that, I am conformed because the entire area I reside in is right wing. And though I have right wing values; I have sort of a left wing appearance. People mistake me for some pothead, or liberal, or possible druggy, or freak, etc.
I do want to move to Los Angeles. I have a dream to start a band and become a performer once again. Long hair is just part of that identity for me. I can honestly say I have not felt comfortable with my hair down anywhere, but Los Angeles, interestingly enough. People in Los Angeles gravitated to me when I had my hair down. People in all other places, including my home town, tend to shy away or treat me with indifference when my hair is down. For some strange reason, Los Angeles, having long hair is sort of like, an exhaultation; It was a great feeling; hell, I even had tourists taking photos of me! That's my dream, anyway, and if we can't dream, what's the point of life?
I think I'm not going to cut this hair, because every centimeter of these strands signifies the a month in battle against societal norms. Yes, sometimes it's dirty, fringy, and I look hellish when I'm ungroomed and unkempt; but then again somtimes I feel that if we are human beings and individuals are allowed to flourish as who we are in an unconventional and unbiased society; then long hair can be colorful and beautiful and exemplify the human spirit in us males. Thank you for reading and I hope you understand.
Hi Wade, welcome to the mlhh :) Based on your thread, I feel you came to the right place for support.I've heard similar stories over the years but it all boils down to being who you want to be, not what someone else wants you to be.That second option never works out well so in short if you like your hair,keep your hair :)I've had my hair long for decades and don't recall that many negative comments other than an occasional " you'd look better with short hair"comment. Hey, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder so I recommend sticking with your dreams of having longhair because in reality only your opinion matters.Hope this helps my friend.Cheers
Mârk
I've had long hair now since 1964. I also don't drink or smoke pot but my political views are liberal.
I wear my hair down most of the time except when I need to do something to prevent damage.
I will never cut my hair, It will remain long until the day I die.
Ultimately it is up to you whether you cut your hair. My advice is to keep it long, and things will get better. You don't say how old you are, but I would mention that the complaints you get about your hair will lessen with age. When I was younger I got lots of complaints. But when I hit the age of 45 the complaints stopped.
A number of years ago I joined a civil war group, I was expecting (the mostly conservative) members to insist that I cut my hair. Didn't happen. I've gotten zero complaints and i've been in the group now for seven years.
It really depends on you and whether you want long hair or the "clean-cut" look of most men working for various medium and large corporations in manufacturing and services. Where I live, long hair on a man means 1960's left wing and something like the hippies. I have smoked tobacco, tried pot a couple of times with friends, enjoyed social drinks. My preferred music is "classical" - medieval to post-romantic. I decided to grow my hair at 54 years old and I'm still going. Most of the time, it is down and flowing, but I tie it up when it seems appropriate.
A translation agent called me today to ask me to do some interpreting for Renault between English-speaking suppliers and the French representatives, all about automatic systems in cars. Should I wear a suit and tie, tie a bun? I think I'll just go in corduroy trousers, a hoodie and a ponytail, and they can like it or lump it. I'm frankly not interested in the conformity stuff!
What matters is your own self-esteem and being the way you want. I don't like to see tattoos and piercings on people, but I have to respect those who have them. You don't have to conform to a perceived norm, except perhaps your job, and there are workarounds like low man buns and tightly brushed hair.
I think I'm fairly conservative for some things: the family, the value of our work and priority given to people earning their living and being able to find a job in their own country and afford housing. I am more nationalist than globalist, and I find many things in common with those now revolting against "establishment" politics. I believe in moral values.
But I believe in being a person, an individual, having one's identity, the notion of freedom in the respect of other people's freedom, the values of civilisation. Men had long hair before the silliness of the late Victorian era and the totalitarian 20th century and our own time. Long hair on men was perfectly normal in polite society before about the 1860's.
Be yourself and know that your freedom in matters of hair doesn't affect anyone else's freedom.
I'm now 62 years old, I don't care what others think.
I'll wear my hair long and if they don't like they can go
jump out the window.
I'm also looking at it that where i'm 62 years old I'm probably only going to alive for two three or four decades. Life is too short to worry about what others think. So i'll keep my long hair long for the remainder of my life.
I can guarantee that when i'm on my death bed I won't be saying I should have worked more hours or I should have given in and cut my hair.
If you would rather be in a band, then join one. I used to be the singer in a band a long time ago. I started as their roadie and became the singer when the singer left. Nobody wanted to give up their day jobs or try to get more gigs, or get recorded, and I came to regret that, although my own attitude at the time was no different.
I work in a law firm as a patent agent, and I have only met two other men (and not many more women) who had long hair in the various law forms where I have worked. One of the firms had a partner with shoulder length hair, who always wore a Hawaiian shirt. The same firm had a long-haired paralegal who was the son of another partner. Even when I was an engineer, long hair was the exception. Whatever we do for a living we are in the minority. Music is probably the biggest exception.
As for political conservatism, I think you will find Hairball is a conservative (why he said nothing I can only speculate?), and also a guy called Duncan who you can also find on here, so it is not unusual. OTOH, I am another Liberal.
