new thread
Hi guys! I'm a 14 year old long hair doing my social studies fair project on "Guys who have grown out their hair experiences."
I'm asking for 3 people to list how the people around them reacted to there hair. I only got abuse and wonder how it went for other people. I need this fairly soon, with in a month. Thanks in advance
-Alan
Hey Alan,
Welcome to the tribe, lil long haired bro!
I would be happy to give you my story my journey to longhairdom and the social resistance I encountered. How long and how much detail do you want?
I am a little bit pressed for time now, however, I would very much like to help out a long haired bro.
I will have more time to put something intelligent this evening.
Your long haired bro,
Raymond
Hey Alan,
I am a Catholic priest and I am sixty-one (61) years old. I have always admired long hair and I have wished that I could have long hair. I grew up being told that only girls have long hair. This message was given to me by my mother and reinforced by my father. The rest of society seemed to reinforce this view about the length of men's cranial hair. I accepted that this is the way it was.
I tried to be imaginative about how I might have long hair and hide it. In my late forties (40's) I bought a wig. I had the wig made to look like my natural hair in length, color, and texture. My thought was to wear my natural hair under the wig letting it grow unimpeded but no one would know what the true length of my hair was. After about two (2) or three (3) days someone asked me if I was wearing a wig. I confessed that I was.
In my late forties (40's) and early fifties (50's) I thought the while I would have my hair cut I asked the stylist to let the back of my hair grow and to just trim the ends. My thought was to hide the long hair under the collar of my shirt. My long hair was noticed and my superiors instructed me to cut it.
I discovered this hyperboard and other sites for men who desired and actually grew their hair long. I was impressed by the fraternity of the guys on this hyperboard and by the writing of J. Corssier. I decided to grow my hair out.
On Wed., Mar. 9, 2011 I had a gauge four (4) buzzcut. I let my hair grow naturally since then. I was fifty-five (55).
After about eight (8) I met my saw my two (2) brothers for the first time in three (3) years. They commented that I had long hair. I affirmed it and that was the end of that. It was not mentioned by them again.
After about eight (8) or nine(9) months some of my companions asked me if I wanted to get a haircut. I politely declined. When one (1) asked me why I didn't want to get I haircut I explained that I do not practice self-mutilation. I received a strange look. I started to wear my hair in a ponytail.
After about thirteen (13) months into my long hair journey a companion said that he would offer me this advise. He said that he will say it only once. Cut your hair.
After about eighteen (18) months into my long hair journey I saw a friend and a co-worker whom I had not seen for over two (2) years. He noticed my long hair in a ponytail. In concern he offered to take me to a barbar shop where he knew I could get a trim leaving my hair full. He offered to pay for the trim. I politely declined.
About two (2) years into my long hair journey a co-worker mentioned that God made some heads perfect while others he covered with hair. I should mention that this co-worker and another gentleman chose to shave their heads. When asked if I wanted to shave my head I politely declined. When asked why I did not want to cut my hair I responded that I do not practice self-mutilation. I was told that cutting my hair was not self-mutilation. One (1) day after this one (1) of these gentlemen asked me to shave his head with an electric razor. I obliged him. He asked me if I wanted him to cut my hair in the same way. I politely declined.
About three (3) years into my long hair journey my superior told me that if I was going to wear my hair long I would have to tie it back it keep it looking neat and non-offensive. This was something I had been doing since about eight (8) months into my long hair journey.
I visited an aunt whom I had not seen for a long time. I was now about four (4) years into my long hair journey. She was surprised by my long hair and supposed that I had not had it cut because I could not afford a hair cut. She brought me to see her hair stylist who speaks German. I speak German. I explained to him my feelings about my hair. he trimmed my hair and set it in an interesting configuration of a lower ponytail and a little locke-bun; a locke of my hair drawn out in the upper rear of my head and figured to look like the handle of a tea cup. My aunt liked it and was disappointed when I took it out.
That was the last time anyone said or did anything disparaging about my hair. It took over four (4) years into my long haired journey. I was fifty-nine (59) years old. Now my long hair is simply accepted.
Your long haired bro,
Raymond
Your story is very inspirational!
Many thanks for sharing it!
I guess I could help you, just ask
"When i was a kid in my 4-6 years old, i've always hated to get monthly haircuts and i tried doing everything for not going to the barbershop with my father.
In the end, it was always the same until one day, my father decided to do something to make me hate even more haircuts, a forced headshave on the barbershop, and was saying repeatly to me that a good man needs to get his haircut every month and long hair was only for woman and little girls.
In our way back home, i was crying a lot and it maded him to get very angry at me to the point that he ended up beating me in the front of everyone passing on the street and that scene was very embarrassing to me to remember, even 15 years later i never forget that scene.
The kids on my classroom always laughted at me for what my father was doing to me, forcing me to do everything and not asking what i wanted, and my mother on the other hand always supported me on everything, but could do nothing because of fear that my father would divorce her and leave us alone, he was the only man who worked in the house and because of this, it was a source for many fights at home between my father and my mom.
One day, two new kids arrived at my classroom in that day, they were twin brothers and both of them had one thing in common, the LONG HAIR, at the moment i was happy and though "Wow, how they parents allowed them to grown long hair?", classmates maded fun of them because of long hair until the end of that year and for me, they were very good people and, as I was a very lonely child in the classroom, the first child they wanted to play and talk was me, since that day i learned that it's not just hair people are maded, they're maded of personality, how they express themselves and this is the only thing that matters.
When I was 14, I already knew what I wanted for my life and wanted to get a job, but according to Brazilian law, you're only allowed to work as an apprentice at age 16 but, getting an apprentice job at age 16 is not a good idea because in Brazil, conscription is mandatory for every male who has just turned 18 years old. It normally lasts for twelve months. However, due to the excess of contingency, most end up being exempted and because of this, many companies do not hire apprentices to work so they need to fire those apprentices and in that period I started to take courses in something I liked, computers (Nowdays I'm a Computer Technician here in my town, I love what I do, but not my father, he wanted me to work with him at the factory where he works)
When I was 16, my father even knowing about conscription, was threatening me to throw me out of home if I do not get myself a job soon, in that moment I went into despair and started sending resumes to every company in town, but I already knew that none would hire because of conscription and we started to fight each other at home, but without damaging physically but verbally and the fights were initiated by anything, either because I didn't want to get a haircut, or for not wanting to do what he wanted me to do, since my 4 years old I couldn't grow 5cm of hair and he was dragging me out to the barbershop.
From 17 to 18, on my birthday, August 9, I ran to take all documents to open my business legally, but unfortunately that day the system crashed and only in the next day I managed to get the documents and of course, all hidden, as my father would not want me to take the documents and went to work in the factory with him, I fulfilled the conscription, and only after that, and after reaching 18, I could really do what I wanted so badly in all my life, let the hair grow but I couldn't do for so long, I ended up having serious problems with kidney stones and ended up getting one month hospitalized in a hospital bed, still ended up suffering more complications and almost died because of that, I only remember having entered the operating room, closed my eyes and when I awoke, I was in the ICU room and spent a week there suffering, my father did not care for my situation, only my mother who came to visit me and stay with me during this one month, At that time, it was where I realized that life was short and we have to make the most of it, we all die, and it was there I began radical changes in my life, I stopped listening to what my father said and started to do what I well understood, I ended up getting unmotivated to return after I got out from the hospital, as for staying one month in the hospital and doing absolutely nothing without hearing news, since I am a guy who is always watching things that are happening in the world, I compare the time I've spent in the hospital to having spent time in prison, it's a very bad feeling, I ended up dropping my studies, but finished my computer courses, I was doing what I liked, since I never liked school even.
Today, I'm 19, about to turn 20 and for the first time, after years and years, I feel happy for being who I really want to be, not what my father wanted me to be. I started to let the hair grow in February 2013, since then my father and I are having (and much worse) fights all because of my hair. He is always asking me questions when I'll cut my hair, I always answer: never. He does everything to try to convince me that I should cut my hair, even says I'm looking like a beggar,or a madman who left the hospice,or I'm going through a rebellious phase. Because of so many complaints from him, I'll be completing next month, 1 year and 6 months without a haircut. Every time I step in front of the barbershop, the barber always asks me "Will cut hair when? If the problem is the money,I'll do it to you for free if you need" and starts laughing.
In January this year, my mother had an accident doing a track together with my father, and by his own fault to have let slip she ended up breaking his leg and ankle. Conclusion:It left for me to do everything for her and him too, since he always said that going to the kitchen and washing dishes and cooking was a woman's thing and that male actually had to work. In this period I was taking care (and still I am) my mother, he didn't fight and didn't complain even once, he's probably surprised by my actions, so I am obliged to do everything around here, lunch, dinner, still take my mother to the bathroom in a wheelchair and bathe her, put her to sleep and so on. Soon my mom will be fine and she can do everything herself again. And this time taking care of my mother, the time is passing too fast and for me, it still seems like I'm at the beginning of January and because of that, I end up not getting anxious for my hair to be growing and without notice, in a few months we will complete two years without a haircut. I usually do with my hair what most people do here, I wash my hair 2 or 3 times a week, I use the conditioner too and whenever I can in the shower, comb it under water slowly to draw the tangles and then use the conditioner.
Since then, I never thought about quitting to let the hair grow, never had fear, the only real problem was my father (and sometimes still is) all this time. If i am going through the awkward stage or not, it doesn't matter to me anyway, i also not care about what others think of me, there are people who stares at me for hours and when I face, they try to disguise, there are others that pass me by laughing, I just do not care, the thing is, i'm happy right now, even taking care of my mother, i could finally be myself, not what my father wanted.
I remember, when i was 9, i got a C grade at the school and my father heard about it, he became very angry with me and for no other reason,he just hit me with a stick of green bamboo for 1 month and it was being like this since the time he went to work and by the time he returned from work, beat me sleeping , and I still got a punishment, unable to leave my the room, watch TV, just staying inside the locked room doing absolutely nothing.
And for not getting worse than that, he took me to the barbershop in the next day and asked to the barber to shave my head to the scalp and he said to me:
-If you tell someone in your classroom about what's going on with you, will be much worse for you.
In the next day, i've arrived at the school and they started asking me what was going on and even so, i couldn't really say a word about it, fearing what my father could do worse to me. I remember when those kids stared at me, looking at my shaved head, they started laughing, I couldn't even sleep right, because I knew that when my father arrived from work, I would got beaten again.
He kept doing this until I was 14 for anything, even in a day I lied to him, saying that on that day there would be no tuition at school, because was getting sick and was not well, but he still wanted me to go to school until he ended up calling the school to ask if there would be no tuition at school that day and the school principal and he said no, that would be tuition normally that day and i went at my room being beaten by a bamboo stick again and this time, it was equal when i had 10 years old, but for this time it lasted for 3 months being beaten, without leaving the room, getting headshaves every 2 weeks and so on.
I carry with me those words my mother said to me "He's not going to change, even when he gets old" and i think she was right, the time is passing and he didn't changed a bit, it's getting even worse while the time passes by.
When I was 10, my sister arrived in the world (Nowdays i'm about to turn 20 and she already turned 10)and the things around here got even more worse than i expected, i couldn't move a finger on my sister and he starts screaming "If you do anything to your sister, i'm going to beat you down" and so on. Nowdays, my sister points her fingers to me and starts calling me names, I try to rebuke her and he starts to scream, "Get out, if you lay a finger on her, I'll kick your ass" unlike me, my sister does what she wants and when she wants, he protects her way too much."
I hope that could help you! Nowdays I'm 22 and reaching the 4th year of my hair growth.
Take care!
I guess my wife doesn't count, because I had long hair when we met. Even she talks about trims, or tying it back more often.
My mother always nagged me over my hair, as I started growing it out at 15. I initially assumed it was because she objected to guys with long hair, but I later realised that wasn't it atall, or at least not the main reason. She seems to be OK with shoulder length hair, but no longer. That of course is how long her own hair is. It seems that growing up around WW2 long hair on women was even officially denigrated in the UK, because of bizarre fears that women working in munitions factories would have accidents caused by their hair. At the same time, girls in school who dared to grow really long hair were teased as 'nitty Noras', i.e. if they had long hair it must be infested. These views still affect her today, I think. She is 87.
My father, OTOH, has never expressed his opinion even once. My mother said he didn't like my long hair, but he has never said anything to me. He did once share an anecdote. He has a friend whose son has green hair, and they discussed whether we would ever change and decided it was unlikely.
We have two adult children. My son has long hair, but invariably in a ponytail, and he is obsessive about being clean shaven, whereas I have a beard.
My daughter's hair varies between shoulder length and somewhat longer, and has told me she will never date anyone with a beard. I know we weren't discussing beards, but I think it's all part of the picture.
Thank you so much for the stories! Those were exactly what I was looking for. That will help a lot. I would appreciate if I could have one more person share their story. I was aiming for 3 stories. Again, thanks so much!!!
-Alan
Thanks for that truly inspirational story. It deeply saddens me to hear about that. I face fatherly abuse too, but never like that. It really is tough all around.
Again, thanks for all of the stories. They are going to definitely help. Also, thanks for letting me join the club! My hair is a little shorter than yall's (11 inches in a ponytail, but dang I feel included
-Alan
