Re: Feeling bad/low easily... :(

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Posted by PhilipZ (other posts) on April 02, 2019 at 21:22:01 Previous Next

In Reply to: Feeling bad/low easily... :( posted by Avi on March 17, 2019 at 04:58:52:

: Hey guys.. Avi here again. I'm having a bit of a psychological issue with my hair I guess.
: My goal is to grow my hair to my hip, but I've always had very restrictive parents and so I was never able to pursue that dream although I've wanted to do it all my life. In March 2018 I finally was able to convince them and I began growing my hair out. Its around my shoulders now, its still pretty short as its only been a year.

: My issue comes from whenever I see people with waist length hair. I run into people with waist length hair either online or in real life, and I always feel really low when I see them. Its been my dream to have hair like theirs since I was a kid, yet I was never able to pursue it, and I wasted so much time not growing it out. If I had started growing it out when I wanted to, I definitely would be at my hip now. it just makes me feel so bad, and I feel so low esteem about my hair since its so short and only at my shoulder, and they all have such long hair. I know it seems super petty and trivial, but i really do feel significantly bad and low inside whenever I see very long haired people. :( Nothing against them obviously, they just make me feel like a failure I guess. its gonna be years before I reach that do I cope till then?
: Thanks everyone,
: Avi:)

Hi Avi,

I'm sorry to hear that seeing other people with waist length hair makes you feel bad because it reminds you of not reaching your goal. I can understand that, i have been in a similar situation.

Regarding the restrictive parents: It is unfortunate that your parents were against the long hair. I can understand that you feel bad because they didn't allow you to grow long hair.
- Try to release the trouble that gave you.
- Maybe you can forgive your parents. They just did what they thought was the best for you.
- Maybe you can understand your parents' point of view. They usually want the best for you. And long hair can bring some difficulties, for example bullying at school or ome employers think long hair is not presentable. Even though it doesn't make any sense, the discrimination exists for men with long hair. Maybe your parents wanted to protect you from that.

Regarding your own journey:
- Celebrate every week, month or year that you are growing out your hair. Congratulations on shoulder length by the way!
- Shift your focus on what you have and can do, rather than what you don't have and couldn't do.

When you see other people with long hair:
- Maybe you can be happy for them that they've reached that length, it is usually a lot of patience and dedication, so they probably wanted long hair just as much as you do.
- Maybe you can think that you will be at their stage too in a couple of years, if terminal length allows it.
- A couple of years will go by really fast.

Regarding the self esteem:
- Make sure that your self esteem is not dependent on the hair style. After all, it's just hair.

If long hair is what makes you happy, you should obviously continue growing it! What I did differently in my journey was that I didn't have a specific goal. I just wanted to have the hair "long" and then see how it is. I hope this helps!


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