Posted by native carolinian (other posts) on July 01, 2019 at 13:00:26 Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: A wrong reason to grow your hair or bad excuse? posted by Long Hair In Albany on June 29, 2019 at 12:57:24:
There are reasons personal and reasons public for growing one’s hair. I cut mine off last year after it was down to my tailbone for a few hairs. I am planning on growing out my hair again. I am American Indian, own my own business, and am not really intimidated by much any more.
People in the area where I live thought at one point that long hair was an indication of homosexuality (which it is not) and ribbed me about it. At this point, I do not really care what they want my sexuality to be like. I play Buffy Sainte-Marie quite a bit, so when people get on my nerves out and about, out comes the phone and Buffy Sainte-Marie.
I found that I lost myself after cutting my hair. The longer my hair is getting, the more I feel normal. Some of us for cultural, historical, or personal reasons need to have hair as long as we want in order to feel normal and human.
Some of us want, or just do send a message with our hair length. In many American Indian Cultures, we have ways of signaling social location and personal beliefs through hair/hair length. I had a beard the first time around, this time I think I will keep the beard mostly short while having the longer hair. To me there is no such thing as long hair for men, women do not have a defined length that is long and neither do we.
If you are feeling the need to make a statement to some one with your hair at any length, that is your business. I do not have to agree or disagree for any reason for you to do this. Recently I have thought about writing an Employee Manual. In my state these are legally binding documents regarding personnel and their behavior and appearance. I for one, plan on following California’s recent lead (I do not live there) and writing a non-discrimination clause into the manual for hair. I think natural hair is a sign of confidence no matter the ethnic background of the person. I think black women who allow their hair to be natural exude a certain confidence about how they were created that I find attractive.
My suggestion is "BYTS"- Be Your True Self. If that means that you have hair that drags on the ground, great, if that means you have hair that is in long dreads, why not? I for one do not agree with keeping Euro-centric cultural norms. I am not assimilated, though I am Orthodox Christian, and Orthodox Christianity does not require men to have short hair. So, for reasons of feeling masculine when my hair is long and VERY masculine at that, I want it back. I fee sexy when it caresses over my back and my chest. It is like getting a free massage over the sensitive touch nerves in my neck and upper back. It is thick, dark and glossy when it is long with some curl to it. Women have been jealous, men have been angry, which can cover jealousy or lack of comfortability in their own masculinity.
Some mean will feel threatened by men who have highly masculine traits and long hair because their own masculinity is not that ideal. I have high cheek bones, dark eyes, skin that bronzes. For me my sexual fitness shows through my body and hair is an integral part of the body, not extra. I think people who suffer from body dimorphism include those who detach hair from being an integral part of their humanity. My hair having all of the qualities described above, and long, elicits many responses from men not comfortable in their sexuality as they are often caddy comments from straight individuals. Many people in the area where I live and are my age and younger are white and balding already in some form or fashion. I look around and think, wow, they are balding already. I am not, which is nice, if it happens it happens. So, yet again, longer hair will set me off to women as having some youth in me and something of a confidence the shorthairs (men) do not have.
If some one came into an interview at my business and was male and had hair in a single braid down the back, I would probably be more inclined to hire them than if the same person came in with the high and tight duplicate looking type. I would wonder what kind of true real thinking power this duplicate type had when compared to the man with hair in a long single braid down his back (I refuse to say pony tail as much as possible). The man with the planning department level imagination is the guy with the single braid, not the high and tight man.
I think one main point that people who oppose long haired men are remembering is the 1970’s when many men had horrid looking long hair. Keeping the hair long and kempt is a definite plus. A man with unkempt long hair who looks like he just rolled out of bed, is not getting the job at my business. He has to look ready to go, the rolled out of bed look is not a ready to go look. As long as you are willing to keep your hair kempt, you should hopefully not have much of a problem looking for work. It takes extra effort to have nice looking longer hair, and that effort shows. A neat and tidy long haired man screams creativity with self-control. Both creativity and self-control are valued in business. If you can show that you have both if a question comes up in an interview or possible write-up situation, you may be able to get around a boss or potential employer who has trouble thinking outside of their drone-mentality box. At the very least, you may give them food for thought for the future and they may end up giving you a shot, and you may help broaden their minds.
Hang in there man.
ᏕᏙᏓᏓ! (See you later)