Re: 4 Years into my Journey

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Posted by doninisrael (other posts) on September 20, 2020 at 04:09:29 Previous Next

In Reply to: 4 Years into my Journey posted by Steve on July 31, 2020 at 03:09:03:

: I've been growing my hair out for 4 years now. I love it but my wife hates it. Have you guys experienced similar problems? I've also been looking for new hair care products can you recommend any?

: P.S. This was a picture from my last business head shot.

My rabbi once told me something very profound, I think in response to some complaint I had about my wife. He said: "Women are not to understand; they're to accept."

Okay, now that's you've finished laughing, remember John Gray's book that resonated so deeply with some many readers: 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.' My wife and I both read it, and Gray's humorous thesis - that men and women think and communicate so differently that it's as if we come from different planets - certainly resonated with us.

So, now that I've told you to forget ever understanding women's attitudes regarding long hair on men, let me try to explain it... :-) Well, I'll offer some conjecture, anyway. In recent generations, men's and women's roles, once so sharply differentiated, have become so muddled that much of the human race - women AND men - cling to male-female differences that are mostly superficial. Hair is certainly one of those. As has been pointed out on this hyperboard from time to time, in bygone eras long hair on men was associated with nobility, with power. No longer. The last time I heard a woman express appreciation for a long-haired man, was years ago when to couple of women friends were riding in the back seat of my car on a road trip and going through my Compact Discs looking for music to put on. One of them handed me a Yanni disc and said "Let's listen to the beautiful man." (But I didn't know whether she meant that seriously or ironically.)

My wife and I have been married 28 years. When I met her, I was recently discharged from the Navy, so my hair was fairly short. In the first years of our marriage I was a student, but I was in the Air Force reserve so I didn't grow my hair out too long between tours of duty. After studying five years, I returned to active duty for the next 12 years and my hair was, therefore, short. I retired from the USAF 12 years ago and began to let my hair grow. In the ensuring years, I've worn it at various lengths, sometimes cutting or trimming or styling, but it's always been long. (Right now, it's mid-back length.) My wife doesn't like it at all, but in that I've never deigned to try to influence her hairstyles. Over the years, she's worn hers at various lengths, but in general she prefers chin-length or shorter now that we're both in our 60's. She, on the other hand, has no problem telling me periodically that I should cut my hair short.

I guess I'm rambling, because I don't have a real answer for you although I wish I did.

As to product, I have grown to like Paul Mitchell products. I like their Tea Tree shampoo and conditioner, and Tea Tree styling paste which I use only occasionally. I do use a dandruff shampoo now and then when my scalp gets itchy, but when I do, I'll do the second shampoo with the Tea Tree because I like the way it smells. Occasionally, I will use Paul Mitchell-The Conditioner as a leave-in treatment.

I hope this helps! I'm sure your hair looks fantastic; here's hoping you figure out how to post a photo so we can see it! All the best...


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