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I'd like to give some pointers for anybody who has occasion to step into a hair salon.
First, if you are completely paranoid about hairdressers and nothing I say can get you to be happy with a normal salon, go to a long hair salon. They do exist in most states, they will be happy to help you keep your lengths, and know the best ways to care for hair. Unfortunately, they aren't that common, and often cost a lot.
Next, when you go to a salon, unless you have a personal hairdresser who knows what you want, make sure YOU know exactly what you want done; how much hair should be cut, how you plan to wear it, what styles you would like, etc. Don't be afraid to bring in a picture if you are going for a specific style.
If you are just getting a trim (eg, split ends cut), instead of saying "I want a trim," try saying, "I want to trim just the split ends off my hair, and no more than necessary." THEN after the hairdresser has mentally decided what to do, ASK her how much she plans to take off. If the number is higher than you expected, don't let her cut until you are happy with an explanation! Most hairdressers are happy to discuss (in a friendly conversation) at length what you want done. If they don't want to talk, walk out and don't come back.
Despite what people expect, hairdressers aren't mindreaders and may be trying for a style you don't like. Also, despite reputation, not all hairdressers are out to cut all your hair off to give you a "normal" haircut. I had a guy friend with a long ponytail who got it cut short (at a normal salon) after several years, and the hairdresser was noticeable upset that he wasn't keeping it long. She kept asking if he was sure, and offered to give him his hair afterwards.
I just got my hair trimmed at a mall salon, and I was explicit in what I wanted. The hairdresser took off no more than 1/2 inch (I saw it on the floor). I can hardly notice a difference in length, but there is a HUGE difference in how many fewer tangles there are at the ends, and I am quite happy.
As a stylist in and owner of a men's grooming resource center (salon), I want to "second" everything you wrote. You are right on the mark with all your pointers.
Barbara: I am really impressed with your advice for the care of hair...it seems from the many messages posted that guys who are growing their hair long or have long hair seem to have a multitude of problems in its maintenance. Your words of "wisdom" seem to be logical, practical, and not difficult to understand. Do you have your own website or have you published a manual? As a person who is in the "bad phase" of growing their hair long...I would be interested in reading more.
This may be it:
http://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~blk/hair/hair.html
I have a website that I put up a while ago, but it is far from complete and I have not had time to work on it in a while. Most of my knowledge comes from simply from my best interest in my own hair... when I was 8 years old, my mom said I could grow long hair if I learned how to properly take care of it myself (it was short before that because it was very fine and knotted easily). Ever since then, I have read everything about hair care I can get my hands on, talked to people with long hair, and just observed my own. I found that almost everything is a matter of practice or common sense.
I love hair very much, and I am happy to help anybody who would like to know more.
How would I find one? Is there a long hair salon near Rochester, NY or Albany, NY?
The only place I know to look for them is in the link below, found off of the LongHairLovers web site, which is an excellent site.
Amen! Thank you for your cogent advice. I'm sorry Rob had a bad experience at a salon, but I stand by my belief that regular trims are necessary for keeping hair in good condition, and looking stylish, no matter what the length. Long hair is not attractive if it is shapeless or damaged! The key is knowing what you want and communicating it, instead of expecting a stylist to read your mind. Contrary to what some believe, stylists want you to be happy with what they do, so you will come back. Don't fear the scissors! In fact, if growing-out hair is trimmed up now and then, you will be happier with its appearance and far less likely to get fed up with the whole mess and get it hacked short again.