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To anyone thinking about just getting a trim, let this be a warning...
I had grown my hair out for over a year. The "awkward phase" had been truly horrible, but things were looking up and I could get just enough of my hair in a pony tail to look somewhat respectable.
However, another job opportunity arose and for the interview I thought that maybe I should just get the hair cleaned up… a bit.
The hairdresser was enthusiastic about my long hair! I was relieved and felt myself in good hands. Unfortunately, her enthusiasm didn't mean that she knew how to cut it...
She dug in under the nape dropping months of work on the floor; she took some off the top and I just watch as the months rolled back in reverse. And then she did the strangest thing I could imagine. She cropped short the hair over my ears! She effortlessly destroyed the part of my head that had been the most annoying and the hardest to manage while I had been growing it out. Numbly I paid and walked away.
When my girlfriend saw the cut she rolled on the floor laughing. It was the worst haircut she had ever seen.
Now my girlfriend suffered the most while I was growing out my hair. It looked awful, but she was always very supportive. Through the shrieks of laughter and the tears she described it as a bad cross between a Dorothy Hamill (sp?) and… a really, really bad haircut. She hurried me into the car, and drove me off to another salon for a true fashion emergency.
The next salon was very high end. The guy who owns it knows hair and he tried to rescue me from the damage. He too said he had never seen such a strange and lopsided haircut. He called over his assistant so they could both gaze in horror. Unfortunately, I was told, more would have to be cut further in order to even out the damage.
And that is how over a year's worth of effort ended in one afternoon.
I am now growing out my hair…. Again.
PS: I didn't get the job either.
I'm really sorry to hear this. I hope that you still have the patience and the power to regrow your hair. It's good to hear that you have such a supportive girlfriend--but remember that you can also always turn to this board for help.
Best of luck to you with growing your hair back!
hi,
sorry about your situation, especially the job. i'm sure things will look up, if they already haven't.
btw, how long did your bad hair phase last...i'm in it right now. the hair over my ears bugs me to no end.
lars
Hair dresser usually want to cut your hair the way you want it to be cut. You have to give them explicit instruction on how you want your hair cut. I have gone in for trims every few months so that I can have my top hair the same length as the back. I tell them how much I want off and reaffirm what I say over and over(don't be scared to repeat yourself). You will always usually be all right as long as you tell them exactly what you want. Don't be general about instructions because it is easy for them to cut off years.
dude, that really sucks. that's why i am not planning to trim my hair until it gets quite a bit longer, and when i do i'm going to a really good salon to get it done, not a cheap barber shop. how long ago did this happen to you? exactly how much did they cut off? was there at least a few months worth of growing your hair out left? good luck on growing it back! man, this growing my hair out thing is taking longer than i thought...
why you should have your own stylist and stick with her!
Don't just go in any shop and get a trim, you'll get what you deserve.
Why did you pay the stylist? If a haircut goes badly wrong or the stylist ignores your wishes, never EVER pay - otherwise they may do the same thing to someone else. You wouldn't pay for food that had clearly gone off - a haircut is no different.
Andrew, thanks for sharing that incredible series of experiences with the board....you may have saved others some grief...
There is NO reason for anyone growing their hair long to go inside any business where people cut hair for a living.
All that crap about styling and trimming and split ends and even a shampoo is just a ruse for them to make some money off your grief.
Best of luck with the regrowth...my suggestion is just gut it out and let it grow...it'll all fall into place with time.
There is EVERY reason for anyone growing their hair long to go inside a business where people CARE FOR hair for a living. There is a difference--and there are those businesses/salons in the latter category. I speak from experience because I have one (with 475 loyal clients--72 "longhaired" men among them--to back me up).
I have one (with 475 loyal clients--72 "longhaired" men among them--to back me up).
Jeez!...What city? Where? I've learned the HARD way to stay out of places that cut hair....they just can't seem to keep themselves from thinking they know better...they do that "split end" pitch then think I'm stupid or lying when I tell them, "No, I've examined my hair under
powerful magnification and very very few of them have begun to split."
If you're really able to keep your scissors holstered with long hairs you might wish to prominently feature that pledge in your advertising, 'cause I'm one of those folks who's been lied to too much to trust folks with scissors anymore...
Am sorry that you have had only negative salon experiences but I can sympathize with you. My men's grooming resource center is located in New England (e-mail me if you want to learn more about it) but MY haircutter is located in California. I conduct men's grooming workshops/seminars around the country so I schedule my appointments with her to coincide with my business trips. And the reason I go that distance is because she listens--and I get exactly what I ask for. That's what I do with all my clientele and, quuite honestly, have never understood the general tendency in my industry of haircutters NOT listening and doing just what they please. I mean, we are a SERVICE industry, aren't we?
Dear Andrew,
Sorry to hear about your worst nightmare coming true. I have noticed similar anecdotes appearing on this board from time to time, and thought that some "advice" might be of help to some readers.
I am not a longhair, but I love men with long hair. One of my former boyfriends is a longhair, and was always nervous about "trims" that might get out of hand due to some scissor-happy stylist. Together, we solved this problem. Since I have short hair, I made the rounds of stylists, and noted which ones actually followed my instructions, and also gauged their personalities (you can always tell the butchers early on), and measured their skills. Having established a rapport with the stylist, I would mention my boyfriend and his long hair, and his wish to get a trim. I would make the appointment, AND I would go with him. I would sit in a place where I could see what was going on, and at the first sign of trouble, I would interrupt immediately. Barbers/hairstylists are not God Almighty. They are there to provide you with a service, and if you are not happy with it, then stop the haircut at once. Sitting in the chair with wet hair tied up in funny clips puts you at a disadvantage, especially if you are nervous to begin with, but if you sense that the stylist is doing something you don't want then stop the person. You don't have to be rude or aggressive. My boyfriend and I found that it was most effective for me to be there so I could watch it all (especially the back which you can't see when it's your hair being cut).
A few generalities that we noticed:
1) A long haired stylist does not mean a stylist who has some deep commitment to keeping your hair long. S/he does not cut her/his own hair after all.
2) You don't get a gourmet meal at a fast food joint, so don't expect a great cut from a chain in a suburban mall. With hair care, you do tend to get what you pay for. If your hair is important to you, and you rarely see a stylist, then pay more $$$$, and get the results you crave.
3) Patiently explain what you want in precise detail. If you have a picture that will help illustrate what you want, then bring it along. Don't say something vague, like "Something along the lines of Yanni." Your stylist may only remember Yanni with a crewcut. (There's an episode of "Friends" along that line where there's a botched haircut because Rachel, stylist for the day, confuses Demi Moore with Dudley Moore. Don't make the same mistake).
4) Treat the stylist with respect.
5) Try not to be nervous.
6) Bring a friend/partner/spouse with you who can read a magazine, chat with you while keeping an eye on the proceedings.
Getting a trim does not have to be traumatic. As time went by, I noticed that my boyfriend lost his nervousness, and did not regard it as the big ordeal that he once dreaded. I continued to go with him, however, and he was appreciative of my support. Anything, I say, to keep the male manes flowing!
Good luck Andrew with growing it again, and I hope things go much better next time.
Michael
When I sought a new stylist, I sought one out who loved to do extensions with great references. Figured that she was more interested in getting it longer than attacking with the shears - and I found a really great one who encourages growing it. After explicitly communicating where I was going with it, she has been an angel.
I have a manager position in a firm and must keep it looking good, so I do go in for minor end trims every 8 weeks or so. No management complaints at all, and I am below the shoulders. Never have to worry about over zealous shears with her at all. But you do get what you pay for, so don't try to go for the chains. I am paying $40. / trim and a $10. tip.