new thread
Hello,
I've been growing my hair out long, since October of 1999. It's now right at chin length, and all one length. I get looks from people all the time. Mean looks. People saying get a haircut ya hippe or you must be gay cause you have long hair like a girl. I've seen girls with their head shaved and buzzed into short looks and everyone says "oh how daring and bold you are" to women but if a guy wears his hair long they say mean and hateful things. Why do people especially men who are athletes or in the military have to act like such jerks. I own a profitable business, Wear nice clothes and have my hair styled every 6 weeks by a pro hairdresser and keep myself neat and professional. Has society gotten that bad again. In the 80's it was cool to have long hair. I'm not cutting my hair short ever again! I just want to know if others are having this problem and what they are doing or have done to stop or curb the abusive talk from others.
hey - I am wondering where you live? here in Toledo people are sort of the same way. I did live in Seattle for a long time though and people were cool there.
my advice? fuck them if they can't hang. People (men especially) that make comments like that are maybe just insecure or cruel. I don't think that long hair makes you gay. I have heard some of the same type of stuff on this site if you would beleive it.
keep your head high and your hair however you like it.
dale
At chin length you are a short-haired "sheep about to leave the fold". This situation puts you at the peak of harassment. Once your hair gets longer most people will consider you a "lost cause" ((grin)) and harassment will decline a lot.
As for the hippie, gay, and girl comments, they will say anything they think will rile you. The gay and girl stuff simply isn't true. Long hair is very out-of-style in the gay community at the moment, far more so than in the straight community. Grow any patch of facial hair and the girl comments will make THEM look stupid. As for the hippie comments, if you're in sandals and wearing tie dye, celebrate the comments! If you're not, again, the comments are just calculated to rile you.
Society values girls that look masculine because the male look is considered a step up. They think it's an insult to tell a man he looks like a girl because girls are considered inferior. This is misogynist, of course, but it is the societal view underlying the discrepancy you noted.
Put simply, as a longhair, you've got something they don't have and are flaunting it. (You can't help the latter - there are no "in the closet" longhairs.) This hurts them at a subconscious level inside. The first thing the military does to new recruits is to take their hair as a ritual of humiliation. This memory lies deep within, and it hurts.
They think they "had" to cut their hair so why not you? But they could have stood up for themselves and kept their pride as you are now choosing to do. They chose not to. They've got to live with that choice, but leave it as THEIR problem. In their scheme of things you are a warrior unbeaten, and this threatens them a bit. Realize they are just lashing out - yeah, they are dealing with THEIR problem. The more they can lower you in their eyes, the less of a threat you will be. That is what they are trying to do.
Actually, since my hair reached my shoulders, I have not. I go anywhere I want and no one ever says anything about my hair. What I do get is questioned more, usually by security guard types. They'll ask, "May I help you?" and I just take advantage of the situation and ask them for directions, since I'm never anyplace they are without a purpose anyhow. Others? As soon as I speak to them they know what my purpose is and the hair is forgotten.
As for friends, if you have certain ones who can't get your hair off their minds, the solution is to find new friends.
I'll add that turning gray is a big plus, when it happens. To some extent older people are more respected, but beyond that, as an older man you are not seen as a physical threat.
Yep. It's all about the threat - fear on their part. Your long hair says you think for yourself and this scares them a bit. Realizing this is the real issue with them will put you one leg up when it comes to dealing with it.
Hang in there, and celebrate it long!
Thank you for reading my message. I appreciate all the kind things you said. My hair is still growing long and strong. By the way I'm from Kentucky, if that tells you anything.