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has anyone else experienced the gay thing on this site? i have recieved replies to my advice with the inuendo that i am gay or something. this really bothers me because aren't we coming to this site to avoid the kind of stereotypes that we confront on the "outside"? i think so. let me know if you have experienced this? - i have and i don't like it.
dale
i have received such innuendo in email responses to some of my posts. though the emails are quite unwelcome, i do try to be very polite in my initial replies as being hostile accomplishes nothing apart from driving a wedge between the gay & straight camps on this board. i have read some of your responses to questions here and if you use the same intelligence in dealing with the unwanted emails you should be able to easily dissuade these people from pursuing you. this board is like a community for guys with long hair- gay or straight. it's perfectly ok to not want to be thought of as gay, but be secure enough with yourself to not be threatened by this.
As someone else has already said, long hair is usually considered to be a very straight image (something I know about as a bisexual who has had more than one man come up to him and say "you're not gay" - they obviously know me better than I know myself.) That's part of why I like having long hair. I can't say i've noticed innuendo, but I know this site is popular with gay men who either have or like long hair - and I for one am all for that. Still, I agree with other posts that suggests anyone who receives replies they find offensive should complain, as while this board may appeal to gay men, it is not specifically designed for them and I have noticed the hetero contingent is just as large (hell, Victor himself is married isn't he?)
Get over it. You are on a site aimed at people who place a lot of importance on and have a huge amount of interest in hair. Your homophobia is not a cool thing. You will be approached by all kinds of people if you post your interest in your hair in a public place.
really-
how nice to hear. I am NOT homophobic, I am anti-stereotype (FYI)
dale
I know others have already gone over this in previous threads however, this still amazes me.
I am a bi man with longhair. My gay friends tell me that my Longhair pegs me as being STRAIGHT. In the gay male community shorthair is THE thing - the shorter the better. Right now, were it not for the goatees, it would be extremely difficult to tell the straight Marines from the gay men (let alone tell the straight Marines from the Gay ones for that matter!)
Yet, if I understand you correctly Dale, among the hetero male world Longhair on a man is viewed as a gay thing. Well, given that it usually takes a few years for straight men to catch up to gay men's styles, perhaps in a year or two all the straight boys will start wearing their hair just as short.
Once that happens you will have nothing to worry about. At least until the gay men of America change their styles once again and begin adopting Longhair as being "in." (g)
Seriously though, I have not encountered any discrimination based on my perceived sexual orientation inferred from my being a Longhair. Anyone who makes the assumption that Longhair on a man equates to homosexuality is making one helluva leap logic wise.
Good luck wading through it all.
Madoc
I get the same from gay friends.
Yeah, we've heard that one too.
Madoc, it all finally makes sense: Neither group wants to claim the longhair. ;-)
Where this leaves us is we'd better embrace each other. The word "embrace" has two meanings. Pick whichever one fits your style and your sexual orientation. :-) But let's be there for one another.
Bill
If straights think we're gay and gays think we're straight, what on God's earth do bisexuals think we are? ;-)
Bill
asexual
Well, I don't know about that. Most bisexuals that I know tend to be interested in the person first and not stereotype as much.
Madoc
my response was actually intended as a flip response to bill's rhetorical question... perhaps an emoticon to clarify next time-
Someone must be trolling this guy because he comes off real defensive in a lot of posts here.
He has a big phobia of things effeminate and gay. But then, most gay personal ads mention
things like "straight acting, no fats or fems," so he isn't alone. :)
But seriously, sending anyone unsolicited e-mail is considered harrassment, and people get
booted from their ISP for doing it. If someone tells you to stop e-mailing them, then stop.
If someone keeps sending unwelcom e-mails to you, then report it to yours and their ISP just
as if it were SPAM.
- John
Well, between Madoc, John and Bill, I would say it's a matter of semantics...we are what we are and lets celebrate diversity!