new thread
I am a mature professional man. It has taken me a long time to feel free and relaxed about curling my hair. When I was younger it was taboo for guys. Now I am relaxed about it, and think most people are too. I have had perms, but they work best when my hair is short, but I do not expect ever to cut my hair short again. I like it best when it is 12 to 18 inches long, just below my shoulders. I wear it parted on the left, in waves flowing away from my face and breaking into curls on the ends. My hair has a natural wave but it is uneven, and when I let it dry naturally it is too flat and can be frizzy on the ends. I can correct that with a curling iron. However I prefer a roller set. I can set my hair myself on brush rollers, and usually let it dry naturally. If I sit on my deck it will dry in about an hour. In the winter time it takes a couple of hours inside. I do not like to sleep in rollers. I am a known and regular customer at several hair salons. One shop is my regular stop and is convenient to work. I ahve a regular weekly appointment on Monday mornings, and usually go into the shop already shampooed from my shower. This saves time. I maintain relationships at two other shops in case my regular stylist is on vacation or cannot schedule me if I call at the last minute. Time under the dryer is for reading, meditation, or sometimes napping. I live in a small southern city, and have no difficulty requesting this service. I do not give excuses, which would suggest that I am conflicted about my request. I simple present myself and request a roller set. Best for me are about 3/4 inch rollers rolled in the direction that my hair is combed. I like masculine things, and would prefer that the rollers were not pink or yellow, and if I could find some that are gray or black in the right size I would buy them and take them with me or leave them at the salons for my personal use. (Suggestions?) I usually supply the salon with a tube of VO-5 and use 1/8 inch in addition to an acceptable setting lotion which the stylist suggests. As long as it does not have a strong odor it is acceptable to me. I also supply the salons I patronize with a scentless hair spray. I do not like a lot of spray, but if humidity is high or the wind is blowing I find it a good defense. What is really interesting to me, is that now that I am casual about managing my hair -- which gives me a lot of pleasure -- I find that everyone else is casual about it too. I get lots of good feedback, from both me and women. Men admire my guts. I am sure that those who disapprove don't tell me, and if they did I would suggest that they might better spend their energies on self criticizm. I do not go out in public with my hair in rollers not out of shame but because I do not think it is in good taste. I will inspect my yard, get my mail from the street or answer the door. Sometimes I do pull my hair back and secure it with a horn rim clasp, and supplement this with some horn rim bobby pins to create a bun. I have no hesitation working in the yard with my hair up, or walking my dog about the neihgborhood. Of course there is a sexual component to all personal grooming. I have only the slightest tinge of exhibitionism. What I want to share, however, is not the process but the outcome. However,I become aroused only when I am sharing with my partner. I think we men who like our hair and take care of it appropriately according to our varied tastes are a growing group, and I would like to hear other's experineces, and would happyly offer advice and encouragement for other guys who don't want to be confined to stereotyped boxes. Jim
thanks jim,
i admire your forthrightness and your courage.
i would like to feel secure enough with my hair to answer the front door and get the mail etc as you indicate.
since you are a "professional" person, i am wondering do you frequent a salon where you are likely to encounter person you work with or know professionally. i use an excellent stylist who would do whatever hair process i ask--i am getting a perm in 3 weeks. i am reluctant to get sets there because of the possibility of seeing people i know professionally.
would appreciate your response
t
TOM--
I've been there, but at this point I feel that I do not have to ask permission or offer explanations. There is always the possibility that someone I know or someone I work with will come into a salon I am patronizing, but that has not happened yet. My intention is to say, "Hi Frank. How are You?" Today I walked several miles with a friend, and stopped off afterwards at a Salon where I had an appointment. There was one other operator and two younger women customers. It was a non event. This guy uses big rollers, about 1.5" and it leaves a slight wave and loose curls on the end. It is hot and I am sitting with a breeze writing at the computer, and the curls on my shoulders feel great.
Another operator where I go more frequently but who did not have late appointments today, Saturday, typically introduces me to her other regulars.
The real irony, is that most modern professional women wear their hair short, and rarely get roller sets. There are almost more long haired guys now than women. While most guys wear their hair in a pony tail and do not patronize salons, I would suspect that most have had their hair set at some time by friends at home and don't make much of a deal out of if. We are breaking a taboo, and there is something about early socialization in which were are taught to confirm and fit in that still tends to make us cautious. But fact of the matter, few really care, and those who I respect respect me for my independence of mind and action.
So let's do it.
Jim
My hair is almost to the small of my back all one length cut straight across my back. This weekend my girlfriend cut the ends evening them up after shampoo. After my hair dried she set my hair on hot rollers. I loved the way it looked after she was done. So did she. She told me: "Some women would die for hair like yours." It was my first experience at a roller set and I liked the outcome. Keep it up. I think men are entittled to beautiful hair as well as women.
I've had long hair all my life. My mom taught e how to take care of it, and part of that included rollers. When I complained that it was too feminine, I was told that it was no more feminine than a hairbrush, just another tool to style your hair (and if I didn't like it I always had the option of cutting my hair).
Nothing wrong with wearing your hair natural. Wish I had hair that was that easy to deal with. But, also nothing wrong with using whatever means necessary to manage your hair in a style suitable to you, and only you can be the judge of that.
You guys generally make too big a deal out of this curler thing. Those of you who'd like to try it would be absolutely flabbergasted at what a non-event it would be to most stylists. Those of you who thing a curler should never touch a man's head need not be reminded that most people think you'd be alot better looking with a businessman's cut, but that never stopped you, did it?
Personally, I think you'd all look better if you did roll your hair, or us a curling iron or something, but I'd not deny you the privledge of wearing your hair however you want. I suspect that if more of you saw what your hair could look like after even a quick hot roller set, you'd do it more often than you'd ever want to admit.
For the last 20 years I have had my hair in various length, all from just covering my ears and down to mid back. As my hair is very straight and soft it was always a problem to keep it nice and tidy. Finally 15 years ago, when I was on a trip abroad, I got the courage to go to a ladies salon and ask for a perm to make the hair a little curly and have it styled. At that time my hair was about shoulder length and parted on the left side. The stylist asked me how I vanted to style my hair and showed me some picktures, all women. Nervously I pointed at one slightly curly style also parted on the left. The stylist (female) started to first shampo and then set the hair in rollers. After she took out the rollers the hair was a shock to me, very curly, but I was to nervous to say anything, so she continued to style the hair. When she was finnished I had a partition to the left with the hair on the left side pushed, and held with a pin, behind the ear and coming out in a big "mess" of curls. On the right the hair was falling down over half the eye in a soft curl to end with the same mess of curls covering the ear. I did not know what to say or do. How ever she asked me if I liked it and I answered a whispering yes without realy meaning it. (It was far more curly and different than what I expected)
After I left the salon and walked around in public for a few hours I felt more and more comfortable so I went in to a small restaurant to get something to eat. To my surprise one of the first things the waitress said to me was "you have very nice hair" I said thanks and told her that I just had it done.
When I returned back home my then girl friend (now wife) was at firsat a bit surprised about my new hairstyle and she asked me how I liked it. I told her that it felt better than before and that I would like to grow it evewn longer to down below the shoulders, at this time I got more and more comfortable to have the hair curly.
My girl friend then suggested me to use the same salon as she and she made me an appointment and as well followed me to the salon to help to explain to the stylist how the hair should be done.
After the first perm I regulary have a perm, every 6 to 8 week, and in between the perms I once a week have a set and styling at a salon. After that I started to get some grey hair I have as well tried colouring, highlighting etc. All this without any bad comments from the other customers at the salon and never any abnormal questions from the stylist's or other people working at the salon's that I have used, even that I only use salons with 99% female customers, I have rather had possitive comments and suggestions on colours and styles.
At home I set the hair with a curlinfg iron every morning and if we have a dinner party I always try to get the time for a visit to the beauty salon.
I recommend all you guys not to be affraid of a perm or roller set, if anyone see this as too feminine it is you your self, the important is that the hair is taken care of and kept nice (girls do that but many long hair men only let their hair grow without any real care or style) If more guys took care of their hair in the same way as the girls long hair on men would be much more accepted.