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I'm a 47 yr old professional educated man who owns his own business and consults with bankers, attorneys and judges (could there be a MORE conservative group). Anyhow, I have had a lifelong "thing / obsession" with my hair and the desire to grow it long. I have been a daily reader of this board and have posted a couple of messages only. Last November my wife requested that I get a "nice haircut" because I was going to be in a wedding party for a family member. I told her I would get my hair cut if she promised to stop nagging me about my hair thereafter. She agreed. The wedding came and went, and I looked just like "Mr. Businessman". I have not been in a hair cutting place since November (8 months). For the last couple of months I've been hearing how shaggy I look and that I need a haircut. I have reminded my wife of her promise and my intent to hold her to it. She says if I'm going to have long hair I should go and get it "shaped". It sounds like a fancy name for cut to me. Reading this board every day has given me a degree of inspiration and encouragement....recently, I purchased some Goody ponytail holders and have them in my vanity drawer in the bathroom. Well, here's an exciting development.....
Today was a muggy, humid day in Chicago, and it caused my hair to twist and turn and curl and otherwise make me look like Little Orphan Annie. We had tickets to see a theater production at 7 PM. I stopped working and otherwise putzing at about 4 PM and hopped in the shower. I shampooed and conditioned my hair and applied liberal amounts of gel after deciding to blow it dry [in an effort to control it]. When it was half dried I combed it straight back and realized that I could gather it at the base of my neck and put it in a small ponytail measuring about 4.5 inches. I applied more spray gel [by Aussie] making sure that any hairs not making it to the band were secured to my head. I dressed and went downstairs where my wife was in the kitchen. She looked at me and said "that looks much better than having your hair flying around your face". She prepared and we left for the play. I was somewhat nervous on my first ponytailed outing, but all went well. In fact, I spotted two other guys in the small limited audience with their hair pulled back. As I write this message it's after 12 midnight and my hair remains pulled back as it was originally placed some 8 hours ago. I truly truly feel like I'm becoming a longhair and wanted to share the story and the thrill with you guys - - as I knew you would understand and share my happiness.
Thanks, Friends.
Timothy
Congratulations Timothy. Before I retired, I was a regional VP of a national concern and made calls on the same type clients you described. I had always wanted to try to grow my hair long, but never felt I could in my position. Now retired, I decided to go for it. My wife is not thrilled with the new look but now I have a nice "two fist" pony tail. The hair from the front of my head has almost grown to be included with the tail. Hopefully that will be accomplished in a couple of months. Keep up the efforts. The first time out with my "tail" was fun. The aukward stage was terrible, but you can get through it. It is worth it. Can twist up the tail and be out in no time now.
The more men grow their hair long, the more it will become common place and acceptable. Congrats on your new due.
There is a prominate lawyer in my town that has a long braid. No one even comments anymore.
congratulations! i am sure there was some degree of pride in you at this first outing. the inbetween phase can be awful, but well rewarding when you can proudly put your hair back. . .or not! keep it long and enjoy!
Hi Timothy
>> ...I truly truly feel like I'm becoming a longhair and wanted to share the story and the thrill with you guys - - as I knew you would understand and share my happiness.<<
I perfectly understand your feelings and I am glad for you.
I am 52 now and decided two years ago that Ì was going to satisfied my need of having long hairs despite the pressure that this caused at work (I am a school director...). The first year was spent bringing all them of more or less the same lenght and the second was simply to let them grow. I have now a nice 12 to 13 inches tail that is a great source of proudness for me. They are now long enough to be easily attached when needed and people finally got use to it - thank God.
Keep on, it will get easier soon.
Yours
Jean
Keep it up. At 42, I have not had the opportunity to grow my hair, as I work in a conservative corporate office in the Chicago suburbs. I've recently let the back of my hair grow slightly past the bottom of my collar. Quite a departure from my previous haircuts. I would like to let my hair grow, but am concerned about growing it out in my current position. Of additional concern, my wife is not crazy about longer hair. Your posting is an inspiration.
Thanks, Gary, I appreciate your comment. I too live and work in metro Chicago and understand the impact of working in a conservative job environment + having a "SO" who doesn't necessarily support your growing desires. I continue to deal with both but have not given in. Best of luck.
Timothy
Gary and Timothy,
I can relate. As a 44 yr old male - originally from the Chicago northern burb of Evanston- (does that count?) I am curious what the specific objections are your'e hearing from those good oldsupportive S. O.s as I anticipate te same!
Thanks.
Marc:
[Yes, Evanston counts.] Tonight I came home, had dinner and had a nice chat w/ my wife about our respective days. She headed to bed at about 9 PM 'cause she has to get up at 4:30 AM. Anyhow, I went in to kiss her goodnight and caught her eyeing me. Sure enough she said "go look at yourself in the mirror and tell me you think your hair looks good". I replied "well dear, it's just in the awkward phase; it'll look a lot better when it's longer". To that she said "LONGER, how can you fancy yourself as a businessman with hair like that? I don't understand you at all".
Even though I donned a ponytail when we went to the theater 10 days ago my wife is never going to get it and unfortunately (I suspect) never going to support my efforts / desires for truly long hair. Hell, she's having a hissy with my hair at "this" length - how would she deal with my true deisre to grow it to my waist.
So, in my house the objections / comments about my hair center around: (1) it doesn't look professional, (2) businessmen don't wear their hair long, (3) I'm caught in a 70's time warp, (4) I'm rebelling against my Father who gave me and my two brothers crew cuts every two weeks as we sat in the middle of the kitchen.
Good luck in your efforts,
Timothy
Timothy and Marc,
The response that Timothy got about the "professional look" and "businessmen not wearing their hair long" is really what I expect from my wife. I am not as far along as Timothy, as the back of my hair is a little below the bottom of my collar where it gets caught all day. My company is very much into suits and ties and without Friday casual days. Unfortunately, I believe this will make the growing process more noticeable. I've considered going for slight trims to make the added length less 'noticeable'. I would like to go for a short ponytail, but nothing real long. Timothy, what has been the response from your clients to the added length? Ponytail?
Gary:
I haven't done a ponytail in the work environment YET. I have gotten some teasing from my business partner who goes to a traditional barber shop every two weeks and gets a "nearly" crewcut. Yesterday, he called me Fabio [hardly!]. Today as I was leaving the office he said "maybe during your trip downstate tomorrow you'll find something that you haven't been able to find up here - - a barber shop". I told him I doubted it. Later, while on the road I called the office and spoke with him about a business matter. I did ask him "Bob, do I embarass you?" He knew where I was coming from and said "what, you mean your hair -- no absolutely not". He just likes to tease. Haven't done anything "extreme" with clients yet, so haven't gotten any comments. Went to court today and combed it over/back and pushed my hair behind my ears, then sprayed it all with hairspray.