new thread
I'm a former male dancer (stripper). Actually, I worked my way through college by stripping at all sorts of clubs, private parties, things like that. Due to the nature of the biz, I had more than my share of one-night stands. Anyway, after a performance, this hot girl picks me up, and we go back to my apartment for some fun. We get undressed and in bed, and she wants to tie me to the bedpost, and I say "SURE!" Next thing I know, I'm tied and bound, hands and feet, expecting the hottest night of my life. She looks at me and says "This is for Marianne" (a girl, I'm guessing, that I never called back...) anyway, she pulls out a pair of scissors and starts hacking off my 15 inches of hair. I'm yelling and trying to bolt, and she's laughing and hacking away. When she was finished, I was left with a stubbled head, an apartment covered with my hair, and tied naked to my bed. Don't let anyone tie you up...ever.
Wow! What an experience! Did you grow your hair back? Even though it is scary, its sort of hot too!
B
VERY GOOD ADVICE. That is how mass murderer John Wayne Gacy killed dozens of young men in the Chicago area in the 1970's. He would get them to let him put handcuffs on them, and then they were helpless to defend themselves. Yeah, there are nuts out there who are into hacking off a lot more body parts than just your hair.
Some people are actually into getting tied up, and if you are, seek out people you know. All people into this activity have the same issues of safety, and they have organizations to foster that. Seek them out.
Folks,
I think this is a bit off topic but I also think it must needs be said. Life is a risky business. We take a huge number of risks every day we live. Some we take very consciously, others we simply accept as part of our daily routine.
Some things we judge to be riskier than others and treat them that way. We all try and take steps to mitigate the risks we face. Whether that be insuring that we only drive our cars while wearing safety belts or insuring that we drive the right way down one way streets.
Some people judge the risks involved in sky diving to be acceptable, some people view the risks of swimming alone in a backyard pool to be unacceptable. Personal judgement and awareness of your options is what makes the difference and is how we live our lives.
SM and bondage are the same way.
Most people into the leather/ SM/ fetish scene are very aware of the risks they take and make sure to educate themselves about them. They take very careful steps to mitigate them and do their best to insure that they can enjoy themselves in a safe, sane and consensual manner.
Still though, mistakes happen. Usually this just results in a failed scene, perhaps some unintentional bruises and perhaps some hurt feelings. That is about the worst you can expect to see happen in most occurrences.
However, this does not mean that is THE worst that can happen. This is not unique to the SM world. Abuse, such as what was described in the original post, is not SM it is abuse. Physical abuse in the case. You could have prosecuted that person for assault and battery. It might have been a difficult one to move in the courts but it was pretty clear cut (pun intentional.)
There are predators out there, there are abusers out there, there are sick demented psychos out there. Some of these people are in the SM world, most aren't. Simply saying "don't let anyone tie you up... ever" is no way to eliminate the risks posed by such people.
I think such a view leads to a false sense of security and also unnecessarily scares people away from a potentially very enjoyable and healthy form of sexual expression. Instead of making a blanket statement that "it's all bad" I think it a lot better to think it through. Just about every situation is different. There is no one answer which will always work perfectly in every situation. The best thing you can do is use your head - the one on your shoulders and not the one in your crotch.
Be safe, be informed, get to know the people you want to play with BEFORE you play with them. Let others know about your plans, where you will be, and who you will be with. If something doesn't feel right, stop right then.
We are all adults here and this is a complex subject. Simplistic answers can not deal with such a complicated subject. If anyone on this board would like to know more about this, then please drop me a line and we can discuss this further off-line.
Thanks,
Madoc Pope
Co-Chair
Club X San Diego
A pansexual leather/ SM/ fetish educational and social group serving the needs of San Diego's leather community for over ten years.
Well, even though it's not my scene, I would dearly love some morning to hear Public Radio's terrific morning show start off with, "Morning Edition is made possible by a grant from Club X San Diego, a pansexual leather/ SM/ fetish educational and social group serving the needs of San Diego's leather community for over ten years."
Hell, I might even put up some of the money. [smile]
. . . JP in san diego.
JP, I too would love that! Money is tight in most all volunteer, non-profit groups and ours is no exception. I wish it were otherwise but it isn't. However, if one of our members hits it big in the Lotto or decides to bequeath his estate to us, then what you imagined could very well take place. Then again, perhaps in a few years (OK, more than just a _few_ years) our society might have moved forward enough where such a thing is so accepted that sponsorship like that would be a non-issue. We can only hope.
I'll grant you though it would be a real culture shock to see places like Tandy Leathers selling "do it yourself" leather bondage kits alongside their "do it yourself" purse and wallet kits!
Madoc