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This is going to sound dumb but at least once a month i get mistaken for a girl. I have brown hair down to my shoulders and its straight. Its really getting annoying and im really thinking about cutting my hair. Anyone else have a story like this? maybe hearing that im not the only one this has happened to will make me feel better.
thanks
JAmes
Cool it man! If people mistake u for a girl it doesn't make u one.
I have black curly hair down to the middle of my back. I once went to a restaurant to pick up a take away. I kept getting in the way of this waiter, and, since I was in a T-shirt and jeans, and since he only had my back view, he kept going "excuse me, miss."
There is an old lady who come begging down my way, who always addresses me as madam. And the other day in the bus, on my way to work, and with a day's beard, the conductor addresses me as miss.
It's partly misconception, and partly prejudice. In some cases it's done wilfully to get you down. And to such people you give them unnecessary satisfaction by letting it get you down. For the others, it really doesn't matter. If you know who you are, and are sure that you are as God made you, then that is all there is to it.
If on the other hand this is creating an identity crisis in your own mind, then maybe you need to do something about it.
Hope this helps, and here's to even longer hair.
I agree with everything your see bar the reference to God. Very well reasoned.
Ouch, pretty appalling use of the language there. Let's try again:
I agree with everything you said bar the reference to God. Very well reasoned.
Ahh, much better.
Thanks. I'm sure, if you seek hard enough, you will come to agree with me entirely. Till then, keep looking, and here's to long hair!
Rudy
Life is so funny. At work tonight we had a client who is female but wears her hair short like a corporate businessman. She doesn't wear make up. She dresses in male clothes...
She went into a resturant, headed for the rest room. As she was about to open the door to the ladies room a waiter tackled her throwing her to the floor. He thought she was some pervert guy who was going to freak out the ladies in the restroom.
Her hip was broken when she was slammed to the ground...one could assume it will just be a matter of time before she's quite wealthy from a civil lawsuit.
Just thought this wild little story would help you with perspective when you're mistaken for a girl. At least you're unlikely to get tackled as you walk into the men's room.
Hee, hee. It happens to me about once a month.
When my wife and I are in a resturant and the waitress
approaches from behind, she may say something like...
"Good morning, ladies." Then, she gets very embarrased.
I think it is quite amusing and actually complimentary to me.
btw, have been letting my hair grow for almost two years
and is slightly below shoulder level. Thanks to everyone
on this list for their support and ideas. Maybe someday
I'll post what has worked for me.
Dale
guess what? when you wear your hair long you're going to have to deal with this- it comes with the territory. your choice is how to deal with it. getting angry about it is not an option- it'll only entertain those calling you a girl to push your buttons. i really don't experience this too much as i have facial hair and my physical build is unambiguously male. the few times it has happened to me i usually smile & redirect the 'mistake' back at the person- addressing them in the incorrect gender as well. if honest mistakes and slurs are going to cause you stress then your choice may well be to cut your hair- kinda the easy way out. otherwise, you might want to grow some facial hair & start frequenting a gym (or purchase some weights).
I have experienced the same thing. My hair is cut in a graduated bob below my ears. Once in a night class a guys came up behind me and said,"Excuse me miss is this your purse?" When I turned to tell him no he apologized. I thought that it was rather funny and nice. A comment like that means that you have nice hair and they, for whatever misled reason, assume that anyone with nice hair that is more than one inch long all over must be a girl. Well I think times are changing so those type of people better educate themselves and think twice before they speak becuase not only are more guys going longer but an increasing number of girls are going a lot shorter.
Getting mistaken for a girl? Never has happened, not even once.
Maybe it's the beard. :-)
I doubt it. I've been mistaken for a girl several times. Most recently, I was at Sonic (Flintstones-style drive-in burger place) waiting for my order. The waitress delivered my food saying, "Here you do ma'am." She quickly apologized when I turned around to meet her face.
Wonder why! You're not that much shorter than I am, though I do have a stockier build. Could those subtle variations be all it takes to make the difference?
My hair is shoulder-blade length. Yours, Victor, is down to your waist. Could this "girl problem" be something that just longhairs with really long hair get? Or is a smaller build also an invitation for that?
I think it's fair to say that more girls have really long hair than do guys. It seems like most long haired guys go for a length between the shoulders and the shoulderblades. Just mentally run through all the longhaired men we've seen in TV shows, etc., and very few have hair longer than that. So maybe hair longer than that is what trips those people up.
Those answering this thread, what is your height, your build, and your hair length? And do you get the "girl question"? Maybe with enough responses we can get to the bottom of this pressing problem among longhairs. :-)
Bill
I do have narrow bones, smaller than average frame for a man, I think, something that caused me to be chosen last for teams during school.
I think that is very possible. Every time I was mistaken for a girl, at least that I found out about it, the person was seeing me from behind.
Interestingly, as part of a divorce I went through over 5 years ago, I had to get a psychological evaluation, and the psychologist labeled me as a "female male", whatever that is. Of course, you don't usually "see" personality, so I doubt this is it.
You impress me as gentle, but not at all feminine. You don't have female mannerisms or a female body shape, at all. To my eye you look very male.
Who knows what that shrink thinks males are supposed to do. Maybe you didnt' talk about beating people up and destroying stuff enough? When we went to Golden Gate Park, you were photographing flowers instead of trampling them. Bad move. :-)
It sounds like you're not taking the psychologist's comments with great concern, and that is good. People of his ilk said completely wrong things about gay people for decades, and some still do. When it comes to sexual identity and orientation, unless people have minority situations within themselves, they are generally clueless. What do they say, "It really takes one to know one?"
Bill
That would be her ilk. I hate to say this, Bill, but you seem to have jumped to a conclusion.
So now that you know he is a she, does she qualify?
Unless she was transgendered, not in line with my thinking - I was suggesting that transgendered folk know about people harboring traits opposite to their sex, while others might make judgment based on irrelevant things such as hair length. Now, was she transgendered? :-)
Not AFAIK
Umm Why did you link to an Intersex page?
Intersex has as much to do with Transgender as long hair has to do with being gay.
It's always happened when a waitress approaches from behind.
From the front theres no doubt I am male.
Dale
Maybe it's the braids. :-)
Oddly, it's only happened to me when I had my hair loose and down, perhaps because that way my hair obscures my beard.
This pretty much never happens to me in the SF Bay Area, but in less- um- "sophisticated" areas (like an hour's drive away in Sacramento) it seems like many people make the judgement as to male/female only by the hair length. I would say it seems their experience is that long hair is diagnostic for femaleness. Most of the time it's happened I've been seated- not too many 6'1" females around- I think that makes some of them think twice.
An hour away would put you in Vacaville. Maybe that's your problem. :-p
Dear Lee,
An interesting choice of words. You wrote:
"I would say it seems their experience is that long hair is diagnostic for femaleness."
Seems I was 'diagnosed' as female at quite a young age. Fortunately, I don't think it is terminal, although it is incurable.
Paula
Has only happened to me once, when my hair was barely to my shoulders. The beard does help.
I agree with Samson - if you want to be sure that people won't mistake you for a girl, a bit of facial hair helps. Hair length doesn't make quite as much difference as you mught expect - a male friend of mine with short hair was recently mistaken for my girlfriend!
What is the problem there?
It happen to me once in a while and I don't see any offense in that
as long as it is made with good intention.
Jean
He stared for a while, and then said "Momma...you are HOT, Girl...". I slowly turned around and watched the smile on his face turn to panic as he surveyed my undeniably male body. It was the best laugh I had all week!
Bravo! Excellent story
One night in a pub in London I went towards the gents and someone called out "Emily," "Emily" to try and alert me to the fact I was entering the gents and hey -- I didn't even have long hair then.
When I spoke to him, he realised his mistake and apologised.
On another occasion at university, I was behind a fellow student with very long hair and I said "excuse me luv" and he turned and said "sure, you want me to kiss you too."
Ashamed of myself for making such a mistake, especially since I'd frequently seen this longhair from the front and he was bearded to boot, I apologised profusely.
On other occassions I've mistaken longhaired women for longhaired men.
Guess it happens
Cheers
Charles
I was out sailing the boat you see in this picture when I capsized it one time I was wearing speedo swim trunks at the time, which made it worse. These sailboats are easy to right, as long as you have a little weight, I have no problem with mine, even with my 135 pound frame. But a small female may.
Another boater out on a jet-ski had been hanging around me all day as I sailed. When I went over, he came up and asked if I needed any help. I have a rather deep voice, and when I turned around and answered...revealing my goatee he looked quite suprised! I got the boat over quick enough that I didn't need his assistance, but thanked him anyways. I didn't see him hanging around me any more that day though!
Try wearing a kilt. I find these garments quite confortable, but they do invite the mistaken gender!
I second that comment. The exception is when you're at a Highlands festival, then if you're wearing pants you might be mistaken for a girl. (women, unless pipers, do not wear kilts.)
-Ghiolla
