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I have a small story to share with everyone here. I have fairly long hair for a guy but nothing like some of the pictures I have seen on this page. One day at work my boss made a comment that I didn't like at all. He came over to where I sit and told me to look around. The way he said it was insulting enough for me to ignore him so I did. He then said, "see, everyone around here has short hair. Get a haircut." Oh please. I suppose if everyone around me was fat I would have to put on weight as well.
This isn't the only comment I have received like this. I have gotten a bunch like this, mostly from guys with GI Joe cuts that would look horrible on me.
All I would like to say is that I didn't FORGET to cut my hair or anything. I have chosen to wear it longer because I like it like that. If someone doesn't like it there isn't much I can do about it but I really don't need to be told that I need to look like someone else.
Nate wrote in part (much edited):
So what kind of work do you do? How does your job performance rank when measured against your co-workers in similar positions? If you are a good worker, and you present a neat and clean appearance, then your boss is an idiot for making such a comment in the current labor market. Today in both North America and Western Europe, there are almost no industries that have so many qualified candidates for their job openings that a boss can impose his personal grooming tastes on his workforce. If I were your boss's boss, I would certainly be having a little chat with him about the limits of his authority.
If he makes such a comment again, you might just want to ask him loudly and openly, "Are you saying that having longer hair is a career handicap at XYZ Corporation?" If the answer is affirmative, you need to decide if you want to work at an outfit where your success depends, not on the quantity or quality of you work, but on whether or not you look like all the other guys. Not a hard decision. Good luck.
. . . JP in san diego.
In the current excitement dealing with workplace harassment and discrimination it's important and sobering to remember two things. First, labor laws and policies still overwhelmingly favor the boss/owner. Second, inroads made against workplace harassment and discrimination only protect very narrow, previously defined, minority groups.
White males 18-64 are legally the least protected group in society. If you are harassed or discriminated because of your long hair, you have no legal legs to stand on. An employer would be committing a civil crime (in some states a criminal crime) if they were to harass or discriminate (or even fail to report and act on such harassment) against a woman. However, there is nothing to stop such action against a man. Such an employer is merely being a jerk - and it isn't illegal to be a jerk.
It might make sense to ask your boss (politely) to assess your job performance. It doesn't have to be a formal review, but you ought to write copious notes immediately afterwards, citing the date, time, quotes, who was in the meeting, and your sense of how it all went. Save the hard copy. These notes will not prevent your removal because you can still be legally fired merely because your boss doesn't like you. But there are instances when such notes could be important to have.
That said, do NOT cut your hair. If you despise your boss for making such a comment, you'll despise yourself more for caving in. Also don't quit your job. Stomping out feels great, but you will most definitely rue it two weeks later. The best revenge is to find another job (and then recruit out your former coworkers as opportunity arises).
Nevertheless, long hair or not, it is time to start looking for another job. This job is not good enough for you. It fails to offer opportunity for promotion (would you really want to work even more with this guy?) and it fails to provide a good reference for your next (career) move. Don't give this jerk too many years of your life because he will screw you with a bad reference.
Best of luck, and congratulations for sticking by your convictions.
quietly do your job the best you know how. meanwhile, get your resumé together and start looking for another job. this is not going to be a friendly work environment. if you behave well during this time and don't contribute to the bad energy by arguing with your boss you will make a favorable impression to those who are reasonable. they might make a supportive comment. remember who these people are- you might be able use them as references. when you do land a job, it'll be with the longer hair. until that happens stay above the situation. people who make comments are trying to get a rise out of you. are they really worth the energy?
Good for you - keep your hair long if that's what you like!! I'm sick of people telling me to cut my hair and mine isn't even too long yet.
So, good for you - do what makes you happy not someone else - Good Luck....Jim
Nate, thanks for the posting. I have a few comments. Because you have chosen [like many of us] to wear your hair long or grow it long you "fall out of the norm". Remember, there are only about 10% of us. Because we choose to wear our hair long we set ourselves apart - we stand out. As previously stated, your boss / employer may be able to terminate your job because of your hair length (or perhaps what would be described as you not complying with corporate grooming standards / dress codes). If this would be the case would you really want to work for these people anyhow?
As for "GI Joes" making comments about your hair - they do and they will.....again you fall out of their norm / their standard of acceptance. It never ceases to amaze me how other people insist on injecting THEIR values on to me because they somehow know that I'd be much happier thinking and acting and living like them. Growing my hair out has made me more aware of this AND made me sensative to injecting my values on to other persons. It does work both ways, you know.
As you stated above, Nate, "you have chosen to wear [your hair] longer because you like it". If that is and remains the case than enjoy your hair - realizing that others do have opinions and will express them.
Two weeks ago my boss came into my room with really short shaved hair (before that it partly covered his ears). I asked him if this should be his summer hair cut and he replies that someone on a "higher level" has told him to look more solidly. I don't know if this is a hint for me. But they have send me to some courses so I think they are interested that I work for them.
My hair now is long enough (it touches my shoulder) that my co-workers know I like it long and not that I have forgotten to cut it. The woman in my room I work together with likes long hair on men (she has midlength hair). Besite that exist no comments about my hair, but indirect talkings (if they mutually enjoy their short hair cuts, so that I hear it). I think I love my hair more as the job, so it is clear that hair cut pressure in this environment can not influence me.
Maybe my age protects me a little bit, I am ten to twenty years older as the other company people.
Perhaps it is easier to "survive" with long hairs as with some type of longer hair. The difference is extreme. The two men with beautiful long hair I detected in my firm have it really long, the others have it very short, there exist some head shaved members. There are a lot of short haired women and two with very beautiful long hair.
well, i'm the only longhair at both my workplaces- though one guy at my part time is growing his back out. i suspect my being there may have a bit to do with his decision. i get no comments at either place. i try to be productive enough that neither would want to have to replace me.