new thread
Hi all.
I can't think of a better place to write this (where it will be read by a wide cross section of people) so I hope it's OK to post it here.
To cut a long story short - basically, I work with an ass. And this guy has a habit of firing off vicious insults many times a day (I'm usually the one who receives the brunt of it, unfortunately.)
Now this guy is HATED - and I mean seriously hated, by everyone who works alongside me, which is a good thing to have as it means we all have the backing of one another whenever he goes off on one.
To be honest, most of the time, a lot of what he says is merely laughed off or swept under the carpet. But today, he left me feeling absolutely livid.
A new, female staff member has joined, and this guy clearly thinks of himself as some kind of stud (incidentally, he's about 20 years her senior.) Plus he's overweight, and unttractive.
Of course, whenever one of the following male staff members gives her any attention, he becomes very bitter and jealous. Today, I was even minding my own business, when he fired off a snide remark about me wearing my hair tied up to impress the new girl (even though it's been like that since the start of the New Year.) And when I responded, he practically shouted me down.
I'm at the stage now where I will complain to the manager if this guy's behaviour persists (the boss was away today - I would have complained today had he been there.) However, I'm at the stage now where I sense an almighty slanging match is going to erupt the next time he opens his mouth, and I can't see - why at his age (40) - he's resorting to the kind of petty, childish behaviour he should have left behind years ago.
Anyway, that's my rant over. Apologies if this isn't the place where I should have posted it, but I needed to get it off my chest. And many thanks if you've persisted thus far through my rant.
Here's hoping for an improvement in the situation in the near future. :(
Luke.
Luke, Sorry about your bitter experience. People can be really bitter sometimes. But the best thing to do about these people is not to bother about them. They are just disguising their inferiority complex using these kind of behaviour. If the problem still persists, go ahead and report him to your manager. I hope that will teach him a lesson. Meanwhile, your hair is absolutely fabulous. Good luck.
Cheers!
Kumar
Absolutely, well said.
Yeah, I suppose ignorance is sometimes the best policy. Like I said, my situation is helped by the fact that this guy is fighting a one-man tirade against all of the other younger workers, which is why, ultimately, he comes across as looking pathetic.
And we don't half let off steam when he's left the room!
I'd say he's jealous because he knows he has nothing, he's fat, he's a jerk, and he doesn't have nice hair to show off. But i seriously would complain and make him pay for being a little child, he ought to go back to pre-school. Same issue happened with a 58 year old fat teacher at our school, he would discriminate against me and some other guys, but that is not tolerated now days and what i did was me and a few other guys complained about him and that is all that we needed to do...the next day that rhino was fired :P.
I'd say go for it you don't need a child to give you orders.
Luke, this is definitely harassment! I would complain to the manager. If he hums and haws, remind him that it is harassment and is illegal. Good luck! TLH
Y'know..I see people get away with this kind of garbage too often..If you tell your Boss..it sounds bad..but it might make you look bad. If you just try and ignore it..it probably will persist cause no one will do anything about it.
In these situations I usually wait for someone else to do something about it. Cause I usually hold my anger in. But if you do that for too long you might explode.
The verdict: I would probably do nothing. What goes around comes around. He'll get what he deserves in the future. If you tell your boss it might make it more awkward than it already is. Just my two cents.
I would do nothing. Just concentrate on doing your
own job to the best of your ability. Ultimmately
the guy will get his. Just ignore the guy and
concentrate on your own job.
As bad as you think he is, there is someone like that in a lot of workplaces.
As long as you work 'with' rather than 'for', I see no reason why you shouldn't either ignore him, or even better respond with a comment that will leave him going "Uh, uh.." You know, where your remark is so very clever that he can't come back with anything, while at the same time maintaining an air of respect. Or perhaps, respond in such a way that catches him so off guard with your response, like if he said something nasty about your hair, just say, "Thanks, you're so kind!" or buy him lunch or something. He won't know what to do. An angry response is just playing into his hand; he's counting on it.
This kind of behavior on his part is usually a cry for attention of some kind, any kind. He probably has problems that you can't even imagine, and his lashing out is his way of dealing with it. It is hard, but I have made friends with the office jerk in the past and it can be done. It is not you he's angry at. Is it?
Jealousy and your youthful good-looks may be some of the reasons he targets you. Maybe he sees you as what he wanted to be, now he's angry about it because he's unhappy with himself.
Beware of the management meeting. If you meet with your boss, then the boss meets with the angry fellow, then the angry fellow knows you probably tattled, thus the onslaught becomes either worse or reverts to other means. Maybe it won't escalate.
Office settings are some strange places to work sometimes!
Who knows!?! Good Luck!
Later, Bragi
Pity this man..........hes obviously in a worse off position himself and thats why he tries to put people down, to make himself feel better
being a school student i get people like this all the time because im quite a weenie (weakling :p) people always see me as a good oportunity to push someone around because they know they can win in a fight or whatever but ive found that people get really put off when you just look them in the eye and tell em to bugger off because they dont expect it from me...........
just my two cents
I suspect the guy's problem could be what you said. Whenever the rest of the office jokingly make a comment (nothing malicious), he jumps in and puts his foot in it.
I've thought ignorance is probably the best policy, so I shall give that a try.
That being said, he was bearable today (the female staff member was absent), so it shall be interesting to see what he's like when she returns.
My guess is that deep down, he sees young, attractive females working around him, realises just how old he is, and decides to lash out at those who are in a more opportunistic position.
Hey ho, we'll have to see.
"However, I'm at the stage now where I sense an almighty slanging match is going to erupt the next time he opens his mouth" - Luke
Been there and done that. Been luck in that both times I understood the law and used it to my advantage. Then again, I live in a place that allows a little leverage for what I did. Here in Georgia an insult to another allows the legal right of simple assualt, and when applied correctly it can turn into self defence. Great way to get rid of sombody you dont like at work.
Keep in mind I'm not saying you should use force. I'm saying that you shouldnt take crap from anybody unless you want what they give. Just invite the guy (in front of everybody) outside and bob-duke 'em in the nose as hard as you can. Avoid the mouth unless you want an infection in your hand from his teeth. Trust me, it hurts.
Hell, even if he wins in a fight all you have to do is go back to work with a good attitude. You did your thing and let him know how you felt. Everybody else will take the que and treat him like scum. He'll leave after a few day's or weeks of that. You end up getting rid oof him. Of course I would suggest you confront him personaly and talk to him about his attitude first and see if things cant be changed. He might just be living on some bizaro ego trip and a good talk could bring him down a bit.
