new thread
Hi guys, I rarely start new threads, but I feel this one is noteworthy. There has been a fair amount of discussion about Asperger's lately. I seem to have most of the symptoms although I have not had an official diagnosis.
Symptoms include:
Inability to adapt to changes. This is the main symptom.
Below average motor skills.
Keeping precise records of things.
Being obcessed with facts and figures.
Being socially inept.
All of the above apply to me. How many other people here have this condition? I wonder how common Asperger's is in longhairs. For those who are not shy, please feel free to participate.
Absalom
Well i just read about Asperger's syndrome on wikipedia to educate myself with it. Basically it's a form of autistic behaviour.
No
Somewhat
Yes
Somewhat
In some contexts but not usually
I have OCD but that's it. Maybe you should see a doctor to see what medications or cures they have. If you can live with it and it isn't interfering with your life than you should be OK Absalom.
AFIK there is no medicine for this condition. It is a lifelong disability.
Absalom
Interesting, Scott. I have had at least one student in my classes each year for the last 4 with Asperger's, but I've never met an adult with it. So, I only see the adolescent display of the symptoms. The social ineptness is the biggest and most challenging symptom that I deal with. All of the Asperger's students that I've had (and you don't list this in the "symptoms" but it seems to be characteristic) have been very intelligent, especially around verbal skills.
The verbal intelligence has meant that in my classes (Latin) they do very well with the content material, but the social difficulties are very demanding. The most common thing is a pattern of behaviors where they try to relate to me one on one as if no one else is around--most often while I am engaged in work with others. It might mean something as simple as loudly calling my name (while talking to others) or physically walking in between me and another to engage me.
Do you have any sense of how any of these symptoms might change (or not) as the adolescent becomes adult?
Robert
http://mensa-test.com/
Hi Robert, I somehow forgot to mention the verbal skills thing. I tend to space out sometimes. I took this test (see url) and got 29 out of 33. The folks at mensa say 19 or more means you are a genius. I tend to be a skeptic, so I took part 2 and got 20 out of 24. I took a third test which had a lot of spatial skills questions. After finishing that test, it said I am a likely candidate for membership in mensa.
It is interesting you mention among the common behaviours of Asperger's is this trying to relate one on one as if no one else is present. I have this problem when engaging someone in conversation, and have been told many times as an adult that I am being rude. People who have taken the time to get to know me realize I am unable to control this and it is not my fault. Unfortunately, I have very few friends.
As far as I know, my condition has not changed much, except that it may be a little worse now than when I was young.
Absalom
Absalom,
It is always your call if to tell a stranger about Asperger's or not but I have found people will be very understanding if they know you are not arrogant or intentionally dismissive. You could even ask if they will tell you if you are acting rude so you can learn from it.
My Bill appears to have real blanks in social skills particularly when it comes to reading people. On the good side he wants to learn and do better so I explicitly give him rules to learn that most people instinctively know by adulthood such as when a person is turning away they are ready to end the conversation. While I could have written him off as clueless early on in our relationship I figured it is likely he has something in the autistic range which made it easier to deal with by assuming he is not at fault.
I think you are doing a lot of good in this thread for that same reason, Absalom. There are guys hearing about this for the first time and to know it may be a collection of symptoms rather than numerous personal flaws they are responsble for means so much.
Elizabeth
Since I am tutoring kids (who have been diagnosed) with Asperger's Syndrome, I am *very* interested in the discussion!
For those who are new to the subject, my info has that: Asperger's Syndrome folks have social interaction problems, and may be *very* intelligent in some areas.
Question: if *you* have/have been diagnosed with Asperger's: what do you find most effective in reaching you, getting your attention, helping you to learn? What really annoys you [grin]?
Hi Dick, I have not been officially diagnosed, but have most (if not all) of the symptoms.
A subject that interests me works best and is guaranteed to hold my attention. A lot of school (from what I remember) was dull and uninteresting, which resulted in poor grades in those subjects. I rarely would cut class, but my mind would wander, wishing I was in a different place. I graduated from high school in 1971.
What annoys me most is that the majority of people avoid me, because I am different, and somewhat socially inept. This condition is not my fault, but people don't understand that. I have very few friends.
Absalom
Hey...
1st time poster...I'm 30 and this pic shows my rats nest of a hair...
I have been diagnosed with Asperger's by way of being treated for OCD (I have obsessions not compulsions)...
Let me explain a little about myself...
I'm a big time loner...my girlfriend lives with me but I need several hours a day of alone time or else I start getting edgy. I can pretend to socialize but don't like it too much. I have like one friend but that is fine with me...I'd rather have one friend than dozens of aquaintences.
I love reading. I try to read 50 pages a day...I love ancient history, science, sci-fi, fantasy, and MAPS....sometimes I can spend all day memorizing maps!!!
My social skills suck...people think I'm rude and obnoxious although I don't intend to be that way. I'm always saying the wrong things...
Concerning inability to adapt to changes...I'd agree. I like order even though I'm a slob. I go to work during the day, come home and play my instruments, do some reading, take a nap, do some more reading, take a second nap, play some more guitar and drums, then go to work. I get really messed up if I can't do those things in that order.
I used to be a chemist but now I'm a computer programmer. My boss handles the "social" side of our work and I do the technical stuff.
I keep tons of records but in my mind. Sometimes if it's complicated I'll jot them down...like facts leading to the battle of Adrianople in 378AD (strange I know)
I can't whistle, blow bubbles with gum or snap...I'm left handed but do a lot of things right handed. One thing I am good at is Music. I play guitar, mandolin (see pic), drums, tenor sax, viola, and analog synths. I have a room in my house that I use as a recording studio. When I play music I'm the opposite of what I really am. I'm completely improvosational and can go along with anything people or bandmates throw at me. I feel music is the balance to my real personalty.
BUT.......
I don't let it bother me. Everyone knows I'm weird and it's strane but I can't imagine being another way. Yeah I don't have a lot of friends but I don't care...I have my Siamese cats, my books, and my instruments and that's all I need. When I was growing up I used to have problems thinking why can't I adjust but it's better if you don't worry about it.
First of all welcome! Your long curly hair looks good. It does not look like a rat's nest to me.
Same here, one or two close friends are better than hundreds of acquaintances.
It's OK, I tend to obcess on things too. I will sometimes spend 6 hours writing a microsoft excel math program.
Same here, but it is NOT your fault.
It is really wonderful that music helps you to keep it together. Again welcome, and thanks for your contribution.
Absalom
Thanks for the compliments!! It's always nice to hear from people in similiar situations...
Hi and welcome,
I really like your shoulder length curls. My hair is not that far off from your length and i have a similar hair type.
I have OCD so i know how hard it can be at times.
OCD Rituals can be time consuming and although they are pointless they are usually futile to cease the compulsions.
Luckily i don't have Asperger's, one is too much to worry about in life, let alone another disorder!
I also sometimes have social phobia which is unleashed in public situations. I feel everyone is staring at me and judjing me. Although i might seem like an outgoing, sociable guy on the internet, in reality i prefer being in solitude most of the time. I hate crowded places with hordes of people swarming everywhere, it makes me lightheaded and rather agitated.
I don't mind being in small groups with my friends/family but i try to avoid larger, open places with strangers and hordes of people. I also play music, music is a great way to stimulate the mind and keep yourself busy. I'm not socially inept or a 'loner' but i still have things which make me different from others. BTW, SFiction is cool , i love all things Dune.
Hello Everyone,
At the following web page is my life with Asperger's Syndrome:
people.sca.uqam.ca/~huard
I have my quirks: A passion for b-movies, because I find them funny, a love for "The Outer Limits" original series. I also love complex digital watches, and my passion for timepieces motivated me into learning more about computers.
The things that bug me, are crying babies in restaurants, cinemas, and museums. It is an issue with loud noises.
People who change their minds too often are a pain for me, as well as people with "lunatic" temperaments (mood swings, manic depressive types).
I love to spend time in libraries reading up on the subjects that fascinate me. It could be old computers, photography, and barroque art.
I will get upset at someone who used to say nothing, or say good things about my hair, and now says "I must cut it off, because its time for a change". I may reply something like "Maybe setting yourself on fire would be good for a change". I find this betraying and very insulting. What was said in the best of all times sticks whenever a person is wishy-washy about what he or she says. I have "dumped" people because thay had changes of attitude.
I do not own pets, or have children, for I have trouble with anything that requires constant attending to. I focus only on one thing at a time, usually computers.
When I was told, back in 1976 that long hair was out of style, I developped a depression and a noticeably increassed crabbiness. I had to have had someone reassure me be saying "Look, there are great men with long hair, and the fact that you keep your hair long, means that you are not sheepish, and the fact that you keep it clean means you care. Don't cut it off if you don't want to, be yourself" and that was said by a math teacher in high school as my grades were plumetting because I was seeing the world comming to an end because I thought I would never be allowed to have long hair.
Difficulty with subtleties, is possibly a reason for some to stick to long hair. Long hair is curly on some, blonde on others, and is easier to recognize than facial traits. When everybody has very short hair, to me they look all the same. I recognize people better when the hair is long.
Have a nice day,
Georges in Montreal
Hi Georges, I see you hate loud noises too. When an ambulance goes by I will scream loudly to try to drown out the noise of the siren.
So you have trouble with recognizing faces too. I have this as well. Prosopagnosia is reputed to be quite common in longhaired men. I may have to start a new thread regarding this. Bye for now.
Absalom
Ok, this is getting yummy!
Inability to adapt to changes - hmmmnnn... check!
Below average motor skills - uh, check
Keeping precise records of things - check
Obsession with facts and figures - check!
Sucky social skills - check!!
I've myself had a lot of developmental challenges as a kid.
My main interest is analog electronics and am building a modular analog synthesizer as an ongoing project.
I'm also into roller coasters and amusement parks and like collect facts and figures here.
I generally need lots of time alone and in silence working on a project. I don't watch television, and seldom listen to radio.
No pets, children or other high maintenance distractions.
I definitely relate to most of the other replies here!
I work as a programmer/software engineer.
- Oren
Hi Oren, your profile is very similar to mine. I have NOT been diagnosed, but as soon as the flu season ends I am going to see my doctor regarding asperger's diagnosis. It would provide the answer to a lot of problems I have had all of my life. By the way HAPPY BIRTHDAY (in case you missed it on the other long hair board).
Absalom
Yes, I have been diagnosed with Severe Anxiety Disorder and clinical depression. I take Zoloft to control this but changes throw me into a tailspin. The exception being music and art. I can improvise whatever with that.
I am slightly clumsy but I wouldnt say it's below average.
Yes. Whatever I do financialy I keep strict records of, also cds what I plan to buy ect. I have lists and lists of things. It calms me to list out stuff.
Yes, If I am interested in something I study every detail and analyize it from ever angle. I MUST know ALL the facts and figures about it and if I dont I feel that I have failed to absorb it.
Yes, very. People see me as agrogant and mean. I cant deal well with others. My people skills are very bad. I always rub others the wrong way.
Does this mean I have Asperger's? Also I would be interested to know what the percentage of longhairs is with Asperger's and other psycological disorders. I think that it would be a bit on the high side because those with long hair tend to be creative and very individul. In childhood society doesnt really know how to deal with children that "break the mold" so to speak so they look down on it. That may be a cause for a high number of disorders in longhairs. But who knows.
It is possible, but only a qualified professional can tell for sure. As I said before, I have not been officially diagnosed, but I plan to get checked for this disorder later this year. I am also interested in finding out what percentage of longhairs have this condition compared to the general population. Thanks for your input, Katamah. Keep growing that hair.
Absalom
Well, I do have below avg motor skill, cause everyone seems to work way faster than I can even think of, plus I am like socially inept too, but i dont keep any precise record of thing, in fact I dont like keeping precise records cause then it gets too confusing.
I forgot to add I suck at adapting to changes too... I mean on some points. I moved back to Taiwan after spending like a really long time in Texas, and I am getting homesick. I should have gotten used to the attitudes of the people here but I still cant and its putting me into a really long cultural shock. I dont think I have recovered from that culture shock yet. And its been 2 years so I dont know whats up...
now I am stuck in the box when it comes to guitar and when it comes to art it seems as if something is holding me back, like a stumbling block or something...
which motor skills, gross motor skills, or fine motor skills?
Hi Absalom,
Having met you in-person, you seemed pretty normal to me; but then again, maybe that's because I can recognize a "kindred spirit" when I see one! Here are my answers to your test...
I HATE changes. I "adapt" as best I can; but I still hate them!
Yes, --- although over the years I have gotten to be very good at partner dancing. But I credit this to taking a whole lot of dance lessons when in my 20s & 30s (I was obsessed about it!)...
No. But, this is because I am too lazy to follow through on it.
I'm obsessed with facts more than figures.
I used to be... but over the years, I've either learned to "fake it" pretty well, or quite possibly, overcome most of this (I say this because I actually enjoy socializing more nowadays than I used to when I was younger & shyer).
Thanks, Absalom. I'd like to learn more about Asperger's.
- Ken
Thanks Ken, for your input. I am trying to learn more about it myself. Thanks again.
Absalom
Hello Everyone,
Some people with Asperger's Syndrome, may not even realize they have the condition, because their environment nurtures them: Some professors in Physics, maths, or sciences may have the condition, but because they live in a milieu that nurtures their obsessions, and pardons fashion and social "faux pas" in the name of "political correctness", they can strive, and even feel insulted when they feel their traits are part of some "neurological condition".
Conversely, a teen or young adult with Asperger's Syndrome growing up in a family or milieu where a man is expected to play team sports, and taught not to ask useless questions, or is considered "effeminate" just for spending time with books. That is where the condition is debiliting. So called "enlightened" families are getting scarce as people seem to want to conform more and more to fashions than, say in the late nineties, when the dot-com economy was booming. Dress codes are returning in some firms, and people who may have once florished in a time when brains were valued more than "selling abilities" and "competitiveness" may now be outcasts.
People with Asperger's Syndrome perform better in a more cooperative and friendly environment, than in a competitive dog-eat-dog environment. I do have a problem with "go-getters", stressed out people, and anyone who claims "This is reality, get used to it". I stay away from people like that.
The only way to help people with Asperger's Syndrome, is not to convert them from creators to "salesmen", that won't work. They should work where their skills are at their best, and where they do not have to make fashion adjustments.
One good movie to rent on DVD, is "Pirates of Silicone Valley", the story of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. This DVD depicts Bill Gates as the socially inept geek. No mention of Asperger's in that movie, however, lots of long hair at Apple. Steve Jobs is depicted as a mystical "seeker" who went to the krishnas at one time, and who almost treats his company like a cult, and gets into frictions with some employees over the way he runs his outfit. This brings back memories of the New Age movements.
Have a nice day,
Georges in Montreal.
Hi Georges, just in the last 5 years or so I have come to realize that I probably have this condition. My behaviour was so bad at 8 years of age that I could not attend a public school. From age 8 to 11 I went to an "educational therapy" school. Included in the "educational therapy" package was twice weekly visits to the on site psychologist. This was not a boarding school. I lived at home.
You mention professors. I am convinced with reasonable certainty that Albert Einstein had Asperger's.
I never did well at team sports. I liked individual sports like cycling. My school did not have a cycling team.
My mother was a very enlightened person, and 20 years ahead of her time. The best example of this is she offered to let me get an ear pierced at age 10. I was 10 years old in 1963. I decided against it, since this was unheard of in 1963.
Thanks again for your input.
Absalom
I can adapt to changes, most of the time I just don't really want to. I'd rather stay in a job, than go looking for a new, even if it might be better paid or whatever.
Not quite as bad as when I was young, but they're not the best.
I have a very precise list of all my CD's, I keep track of all the concerts I go to via a list and such...
Obsessed might be too big a word, but I sure do like them.
Not nearly as bad as when I was younger, but I do only have a couple of true friends, and I don't really like being in big crowds (except at concerts). I'd rather hang out with one person or a few, than be at a big party.
I guess you could say that I don't have it, but I do have some of the symptoms, to varying degrees.
Hey Mesmreized, thanks for your input. I would say it is very unlikely that you have this condition.
Absalom
I don't think I do either, just thought it was 'interesting' that I could agree at least somewhat to each of the statements.
If I had answered a few years ago, it would've been very different.
People are driven to look like individuals but still look unfreaky enough to "belong". These two drives push one in opposite directions, and each individual seeks a place where he feels those two opposite pulls are in balance. It's not surprising that people who don't read fine nuances in people are pushed into social niches where people appear more individualistic. No one wants to feel like he is indistinguishable from others, or that he is surrounded by indistinguishable people. Also, if one does not read fine nuances in others, one doesn't feel any social pressures they may try to exert to be as strong. All of this can tend to push Aspergers (and others with diminshed ability to "read others") in the longhaired direction.
Jobs that require high "reading others" skills attract people who are good at that, and this is why they all want to look so much alike. Lawyers, salesmen, politicians, and managers are such people, and they often don't understand the just-as-strong need of others who aren't so great at reading others to look more different. All this is why a group of lawyers will look more alike than a group of construction workers.
It's therefore not surprising that a lot of Aspergers are driven to being longhaired. They need to feel unique, and at the same time they don't pick up on subtle social pressures to not look different. They also end up in the jobs we think of as "longhair jobs", such as computer programming, music, or manual arts - niches where interpersonal relationships are not a major factor in success.
In my case, when I first heard of Aspergers, I thought I may have had it. Later I realized I didn't, because I'm very socially outgoing and in some settings I've excelled with being social. However, in other settings my performance was very poor, leading me to wonder about Aspergers. We finally figured out what my deficits actually were - that my hearing is very poor and I can't read faces, but I use hair to tell people apart instead. In a quiet place with a few longhairs, I'd do great! In a noisy office full of shorthaired yuppies, I'd do terribly. This was all quite perplexing until I figured it out of course. Now I just accept it, and it doesn't bother me at all.
A lot of Aspergers tend to get the face recognition problem along with their Aspergers, but in my case it's been clear I have one without the other. However, in the wrong settings I come off as very Aspergerish, so I can definitely relate! I also know how great a burden they suffer from, because I can change the setting and then see what a difference that makes.
Bill
In a noisy office full of shorthaired yuppies, I'd do terribly. This was all quite perplexing until I figured it out of course. Now I just accept it, and it doesn't bother me at all.
Not all Yuppies or shorthaired people are like that, but many are.
I worked at a place for a very short time where I was informed that I don't "fit" and basically let go. I've worked for numerous companies where they stress "Team work" and what not, and most of these guys who are the "Team leaders" are the management types which look like your typical Yuppie types and have no real individuality at least from my perspective.
I have a tendency to feel very uncomfortable around very uptight Yuppie types though, these are usually the types that walk around like something is stuck up their butt and never smile much and always look waay too serious and give you that "look".
Thank you so much Bill. You have great wisdom and expertise at explaning things in a way that all who read this can get an understanding of what people with this condition go through on a day to day basis. Thanks again.
Absalom
i got diagnosed with it at a very early age
went to special schools until the age of 7, when i went to a mainstream school. was bullied from then until finishing at FE college in pontefract. when provoked, i often reacted violently. i even kicked a couple of windows through at school when some kids locked me out (trying to write this without swearing)
the socially inept aspect is certainly true of me. i've always found it hard to communicate with people. looking someone in the eye while talking to them is one such trait.
i reckon that the percentage of longhairs with asperger's is about the same as the average rate. glad to see that i'm not alone here
luke
currently listening to the pixies' best of
I have not been officially diagnosed yet, but I am perceptive enough to know with almost total certainty that I have it.
Same here, public schools would not accept me. Between age 8 and 11 I went to a private school for children with behavioural and learning disabilities.
Yes, I can remember many times being told "look me in the eye when I am talking to you". I have this problem to this very day.
It appears to me from the responses so far that Asperger's is more common in longhairs than the general population.
Thank you so much for your input.
Absalom
It's interesting you brought this up, because someone actually asked if I had it just from having a general discussion... and I said I don't know, even though all the symptoms apply to me... I don't like to think of it that way. It could be coincidence...
-Ardroth
Hi Ardroth, it is possible that you have it. The only way to be sure is to get tested. There are some online tests, but the only sure way is a professional diagnosis. I am planning to get tested later this year. (I did test positive on two online tests.) Thanks for your input.
Absalom
This is interesting thread! Thanks for starting it.
I can adapt to change if I believe that the change being made is for the better, and not just for the sake of the change or just ostensible progress and wasting of resources.
Kinda, sorta, but not really. I can do lots of stuff, but some sports that require a lot of coordination or skill, like basketball, no, no good at that!
Sometimes, yes, sometimes no. I never balance my checkbook, and yet stuff at work like reports, I will spend forever getting them to balance to the penny.
Just facts, love to read encyclopedias and maps and reference books.
Sometimes shy which can be interpreted as snobbishness if I don't know you. Then when I get to know the person, I'm very outgoing and talkative and all over the place.
So, I don't guess I have it.
BUT, what gets me about all of it is, when one is told that they have anything, anything out of the 'norm' - whatever that truly is - it seems they are made to feel more of a victim or outsider rather than being made to feel that they are just themselves, that is who they are, not bad, not lacking, not less, not inept.
The thing, it seems to me, is that this person or that person, who has this syndrome or that disorder, just isn't set up to live in the typical way that is expected or common or even pre-chosen for them by their family or their group or their society that they live in. This person or that person has unique aspects and facets that aren't typically recognized, but are sometimes many times more useful and talented than the average Joe.
Now the good thing is, it seems lots of guys here have found their path or niche to work around this, to find a way, their way, as they are, and with in their realm of ability.
What is sad, though, is all the ones out there beating their head against the wall, wondering why things never seem to go their way, why they can't ever fit in, why they can't do this, can't do that, when all along...
They don't have to fit in, things don't have to go a certain way, they don't have to do that or this. They just have to be themselves, go their own way, make their own path. Let some of the pressure go, let it all be OK. But that's just me!
I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it!!!!!
Later, Bragi
I don't know if all of those apply to me, because i have not really thaught about them...But i have EXTREME Social problems, which i don't even want to change and i love, because it is part of my actual personality. Many people tell me that i have serious social problems because i literally tremble to speak to anyone or to even show myself, when people walk by i dont look at them i look the other direction and if people are speaking to me i just can't look at them because i either get nervous, shy, or i start laughing for no reasons. But i am starting to love this difference because it seems to be part of who i am and im a mysterious person.
Hi everybody,
I'm not a psychiatrist, but I do have second thoughts about this Asperger's "syndrome". Today, the American Psychiatric Association sees e.g. homosexuality not as a disease but as a personality variant. Well, how much justification is there really for calling Asperger's a "syndrome"? I know, I'm provoking, but what if I called this "Asperger" issue a scam of the "Jack-of-all-social-skills" society to force the "different" among us into their mould, or at least "pathologize" them and justify discrimination?
Let's start referring to people who fulfill some or all Asperger criteria as to persons with Asperger-type STRENGTHS (eg language skills, ability to remain focussed, creativity etc).
Many "Jack-of-all-social-skills" may be great leaders and presidents, but need to improve some formal intellectual skills. Conversely, many people with "Asperger"-type traits are great at (formal) language and creative tasks, but may need to train certain social skills. If psychotherapy (usually behavioral therapy) is justified and helpful for some people with Asperger-type strengths, then this would also apply to some of those with the "Jack-of-all-social-skills"-syndrome.
To get back on topic: For a man, wearing his hair long still means daring to be different, and that's easier for someone who is not overly concerned about social conventions. This, in turn, means that creative people with Asperger-type strengths will be overrepresented. It's important that longhairs refuse to be impressed by any of that "It's-all-your-weird-personality"-type of crap. Let's celebrate diversity, including both the great Asperger and "Jack-of-all-social-skills"-type members of society.
Thanks for your patience :-)
Hans-Uwe
Diversity exists in the Darwinian scheme of things not because it benefits the individual who has it, but because it benefits the tribe. Skinny guys chased down wild game, while the big burly guys who couldn't run as fast lay in wait to kill it. Fat people survived famines. Nearsighted guys could do close-up work that no one else could do.
And before we had computers or any scheme of writing to store and process information, Aspergers WERE our computers. A society with Aspergers in its midst had a distinct advantage over other societies in its ability to accomplish those important tasks.
Now that we have computers, who is best at programming them? Our Aspergers!
Bill
That's a pretty good explaination of how a seemingly disadvantageous gene would continue to be passed along.
I never thought about that. This is true. I can indeed see super-clearly up close; past a foot or so, no dice.
Hello Everybody,
In a society where all energy is put on "personality", appearance, and style, Asperger's Syndrome, if perceived as a personality trait rather than a handicap, may make life difficult for those who suffer from the condition.
For example, for me, a short haircut is a short haircut. Some barbers may charge 10$ for a short haircut, and some stylists will charge $60. I do not see what makes one stylist charge $60 for the same round the ears style that bores me to death.
That is because, I have no sense of style in the eyes of many people. I cannot tell a cheap suit from an expensive one without looking for a label. More still, I am not impressed by labels, and what people consider trendy.
On that level, I may be considered "unsophisticated", since my sense of esthetics revolve more around what I see in Medieval Fairs. I like color for both men and women, and especially long hair. What is trendy today seems to be only good to wear at funerals (Greys and blacks).
Another aspect of having Asperger's syndrome, is that people say, that I am disconnected from todays concerns. I do not become paranoid just because, on today's newspaper there are the same articles about terrorists, suicide bombers, and what have you. Sometimes I just tune out the news, and see everyday as a bright new day. People at work see me with a sunny disposition. That is well deserved since I do feel respected for who I am, and in return my services are appreciated.
One advantage of Asperger's Syndrome is taking the subway, and not noticing the monday morning long faces that people say they see on commuters. I see people as neutral emotionally, not more not less. I always start my day listening to cheerful music on my walkman, that music is out of context with the times, but I like it.
What appals me about today's people, is that being pessimistic is "trendy", "realist" with "realism" being used "religiously". You have to have a sour puss attitude to be with it. It seems.
I feel more like a child at heart, and ignore the bad stuff. I cut attitudes from the best of all times, and paste them on today. If something bright and sunny was said, last week, or ten years ago, it sticks to today. Remember when the media put forward that "Long hair is a mark of individality", "A break from the tedium of workaday life" back in the seventies. These are sunny remarks, and they stick. In the eighties, they said "You got to go with the flow", or "Your long hair is not what matters, it's the inside that counts" (Distorted in a way to tell me to cut my hair and keep my views deep inside and shut up). Thes last two attitudes, I flush them down the toilet.
What I feel, about today, is that one should not always buy into what is new just because it is new. Some things from long time ago should stick if it is sunny.
Have a nice day,
Georges in Montreal.
You are just one cool guy!
Hi Georges,
I couldn't agree more with your world view, you seem to be one of the few lucky ones who have a natural gift for discerning what is essential and what is not. A while ago I found a post card saying "Do you know what the world needs? More people like you!" - and I think that applies to you too.
But I also agree that regular insecure "worrier" type of guys go crazy if they have to deal with someone who is relaxed and optimistic, and they have to label them "handicapped" in order to refrain from trying to "educate" or change them.
Interestingly, I have found a great capacity for optimism and happiness in some African cultures (and a lot of tolerance for men with long hair, even though almost all African men wore their hair short). When I came back to Germany after that trip, I noticed a lot of unhappy people - unhappy in spite of their complete freedom from destitution and complete personal safety, unhappy because they don't seem to see things that really count. It makes me think of Le petit Prince by Saint-Exupery: "On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux" (translation for all the others: One can't see well except with one's heart. The essential is invisible to the eyes).
It's a blessing that you seem to be able to see the good things - in that respect, the rest of our societies seems to be the ones with the handicap - and "How can I prove I'm not crazy to people who are?"
Whenever I meet and interact with people like you, it makes my day.
Best wishes,
Hans-Uwe
Just like shows such as "Fear Factor" and these other "Reality" shows are "Trendy".
I don't watch any of them and sooner or later they'll go by the wasteside and people will be watching some other types of so-called entertainment.
Thanks for your valuable input guys. This has been an incredible thread. From what I have read here, it appears that longhairs are more prone to Asperger's than the general population. Thanks again to all who have participated. This has really opened my eyes and helped me to understand myself better and that it is OK to be different.
Absalom
After seeing so many issue threads on womens' long hair boards I got to wondering why so many women with long hair had such a high rate of abuse in relationships, social phobias, OCD and many others. I came to realize it was not about the hair but merely the boards I was reading where people felt comfortable enough to open up. Those rates are probably similar across any close community board.
While this might be partly the case for so many Asperger's syndrome responses here I would also say for this condition in particular the people with it may be more likely to communicate online. A survey of longhairs in the general population could give a different composition.
Elizabeth
I have Aspergers and have been wanting to grow my hair out for a long time (around May 2005, but my mum and family see it as strange and abnormal behaviour, especially my aunt). Why they call it a "syndrome" I have no idea - it's like they see it as some horrid disease that just HAS to be cured. . . plus, they seem to treat us like we have below average IQs. (Shakes fist)115 aint bad, ne? It's a gift and a curse - I'm quite skilled at computers and am highly interested in reading and writing - but I can't take a bus to school. o_O BUT I plan to start in the next month.
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