new thread
This post is aimed primarily at those of the long haired persuasion who happen to be male, but it can apply equally to other nonconformist/subculture groups such as: Punks,Goths, and Hippies.
A)merge with what is the accepted standard of dress, grooming, and conduct in mainstream society.
B)try to coexist as an "outsider" from the mainstream without advocating any change in what is the accepted standards of dress, grooming, and conduct. in other words "don't rock the boar" and be silent as a mouse when among those "mainstream" types(especially in the work place).
C)become a vocal advocate for change in the workplace/schools and society in general in regards to dress, grooming, and conduct even if it's in contrast to what is accepted by the majority in mainstream society.try to open society's minds to being more tolerant and flexible in all situations including the workplace.
D)Coerce mainstream society to accept what isn't considered "normal" in their own narrow-minds and if necessary force them to modify their outdated thinking and style of grooming and wardrobe to comply with what is generally perceived as nonconformist.(now this is the Ghengis method. :-))
O.K I've tried A and even though by appearance standards I blended in I felt like I was in an Alien body. it just wasn't me.
I've also done B and that's where I've been currently in my level of thinking, but I'm starting to think in the direction of C, or D as of lately and would like to know how most of you really feel about this.
thanks.
This is quite interesting. You have got 4 different approaches or levels. The first being ultra-conformist and the fourth being very liberal.
I think i fit option B. I like to have my own identity and individuality but i do not plan on starting a movement or a protest against mainstream society. I submit into conforming in certain social contexts but still retain my individuality at the end of the day :)
If you want to practise options C and D, then it can be a very painful and futile task. Go to the buzzboard and try to talk some sense into those 'deaf ears' , ain't gonna happen buddy. Double standards, discrimination and all that other crap is always going to be a part of society. Just gotta learn to live with it and do your own thing in life.
What is a 'buzzboard'?
I'm kind of a B except that its more of a live and let live way of being. And I enjoy being different, don't mind who knows it , definitely not "quiet as a mouse" about it, just no need to force my opinions on others and they don't force them on me.
Someplaces I am typical where it suits me, dont do anything just to be different, just seems to happen once in a while, like with hair.
I'm with the B crowd as I present myself the way that makes me happy and let others do what makes them happy.As long as no one tries to impose a standard on me then I'm basically content.If I were to say C or D then I would say you need a dictatorship.Mark
But, suppose that down the road there was some oppression put on those of us who wish not to conform and this would include intimidation among other things and we would all have to submit to getting our heads shaved if we didn't comply.
sounds kind of Orwellian, but it could happen that's why we need to stand up for our rights and not let others dictate to us how we should dress, groom ourselves , and think.
Here's my reply...
No. "Been there, done that", --- it never got me the hair I wanted to grow.
Well, I'm not "silent as a mouse": I'm more "live & let live." I only "rock the boat" if there's a need to, --- which sometimes there is; but most of the time there isn't.
I'm not usually a "vocal" advocate for change about these issues; but I am most definitely a VISUAL advocate for change! (Just by my having hair as long as I do, which is impossible to hide, --- unless I get a short-haired job wig!)
No. I don't think you can "force" anybody into doing ANYthing, --- especially change their mind! But one can, however, simply & calmly present alternative views (including *facts* that conservatives resist hearing). If something has truth ringing behind it... logical, fair-minded people will reconsider their narrow-mindedness. But this usually only happens when the person presenting the newer view does so in a calm & non-threatening manner (with a few exceptions, maybe).
So, I guess I figure I'm somewhere in the middle between "B" and "C"!
- Ken
B is probably the closest, although I like to think I am challenging conformity by example, rather than being "silent as a mouse" or "not rocking the boat". Protest does not have to be vocal.
No coersion; make 'em envy us.
James
Hi Ghengis,
A lot of the time, I follow path B, but whenever it seems appropriate, I do encourage other men to grow their hair. Sometimes, when a short-haired colleague or friend says "My hair is getting too long, I need a haircut", I might say, "Well, long hair would (or: does) look good on you. Have you ever tried it?" If he answers "no, but have you ever tried short hair?", I can say "yes, I have. It didn't look good at all." Sometimes, a brief and possibly humorous conversation about different styles evolves.
The other thing is, to give positive feedback to other men growing their hair or wearing it long (Ken pointed that out on one of his posts).
Solution E is a little bit like the 12'th step of a 12-step group, let's say of "Recovering Shorthairs Anonymous" (he he :) i.e. carring the enlightenment to others ;-)
Grow it and feel good!
Greetings,
Hans-Uwe
Be yourself. Like yourself. Who cares what others think?
B is probably closest. I don't really care how others choose to look. OTOH, I beleive very firmly in the right to self expression, and will readily say so if the subject comes up.
