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I wonder if anyone here is suffering from depression? I feel alot of times its me against the world and sometimes I start to hate this world and stuff because of all the bad stuff happening. I feel I cannot get along with anyone, like people get mad at me and I had no idea why. I tried getting professional help but all they do is stuff you with pills, and I dont like those pills cause it makes you sleepy therefore making it very hard for me to work or earn a living. I can't seem to find any non medical help for depression in Taiwan though, and its really high suicide rates here is not helping anything.
Tai Fu,
Here in the US we distinguish between psychiatrists and psychologits. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor with specific training in mental disease. Psychologists are individuals educated and clinically trained in "talk-therapy", that is, non-medical therapeutic counselling. There are various kinds of talk-therapists--licensed, certified psychologists, therapists, pastoral counsellors and social workers. The important thing is that they are licensed and certified by state and professional organizations to do their work AND it's best to get a reference from someone you trust.
Do such distinctions exist in Taiwan? If so, it sounds to me like it would be good to find a talk-therapist rather than a medical practictioner. YOu are asking for therapeutic counselling, not pills.
Robert
yes. i suffered from depression alot during my senior year in high school. i found that it really helpful to speak with somebody really close to me. i also found that helping other people with their problems helped me figure out what to do with my own problems. it's a temporary distraction until you can figure out what to do about your problems. and you might also find out that your problem(s) may not necessarily be as bad as somebody else's.
When I was in high school the faculty noticed that I had depressive symptoms, and they basically told my parents to give me a psycharatric evualation. However the doctor pretty much said I dont need medication, im just depressed and needs counseling thats all... problem is you go to any major hospital in Taiwan its all drugs and medicines. Im not sure where to go for a psychological help.
Tai Fu,
I am not sure how it works in your country. Here, I would begin in a couple of ways to look for counselling help. First, I'd connsider who I DO trust in my life, and I would ask them if they knew of a good counsellor.
Next, I would look in my local phone book or google the internet for licensed, certified counsellors in my area.
Finally, I'd look to public and privage organizations affiliated with psychologicl health, and see if they have a list of member counsellors. For instance, here there are Public Health clinics, and there are private associations of Pastoral counsellors, for example. Also there are Gay and Lesbian support groups who have lists of counsellors they recommend. For example, there is a GLBT association in almost every state, and they could make references to trusted counsellors.
Then, with two or three names in hand, I'd call and see if they would see me for an introductory session. I would explain that I need to find the right counsellor for me. Many counsellors offer the first session free of charge, or at a reduced rate. I'd make it clear that I would be interviewing the counsellor in that first session in order to find someone who would work for me.
Then, you have to go to these intro sessions and see if you connect with a counsellor.
Would these be options and avenues for you in your country?
Robert
I too have suffered similar feelings, but every so often, I get a lift from something, which helps to pick me up.
For example, yesterday I found that I'd progressed through the next round of a job I am after. That gave me an enormous lift, as I hadn't heard anything from them in a while, so it was another small step to sorting my life out.
What has surprised me is that I presumed having long hair would make me as happy as could be. It hasn't (which has kind of reinforced that it probably isn't the most important thing in life), but I still wouldn't be without it!
All the best.
Luke.
WARNING: Long reply.
I suffered with depression for decades. From its onset in my early teens, was fairly unabated for the next 30 years. The past couple of years have been the best of my life, and things just keep getting better. Here's what I learned and how I did it.
Depression is very loosely defined in common use. Less so in clinical use, but there's still a broad range of application of the term. As such, it has many causes. Even when properly diagnosed in the strictest definitions, there are still many causes. Thus, there are many solutions.
What worked for me may not work for you, simply because of differences between our depression and ourselves. However, don't use this as an excuse, as I did for many years, to dis what works for other people without giving it a real, honest try.
After failing psychotherapy for many years, I subscribed to the “organic” theory which essentially says mood-disorders are a result of chemical imbalances in the brain. As much as I wanted that to be true, and believed it, about 15 years of different meds proved to me that in my case, that's not the case.
What did help were several things I learned in rehab. Yes, I subscribed so fully to the chemical theory, that I ended up in drug rehab for drug and alcohol abuse. Since it wasn't until then that I became teachable and was presented with help in a form I could understand and apply, I can only say that years of addiction, while regrettable for the wasted time, opportunities, money, relationships and so on, it all had a positive outcome.
And that's the first key: If you can't change the situation, you can change your outlook.
The rehab definition of depression is: "Depression is anger turned inwards." I think this definition fits you since you said, "I start to hate this world and stuff because of all the bad stuff happening." It's when this anger with the world becomes morphed into frustration and anger with yourself that the stage is set for depression.
For me, the key to changing my outlook was a single word: Acceptance.
It's found in AA's Serenity Prayer: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
I had a hard time learning what acceptance is, probably because of abuse of the term in common usage. I find it easier to define by the things it is not.
Acceptance is not agreement. I don't have to agree with something to accept it.
Acceptance is not approval. I don't have to approve of something to accept it.
Acceptance is not endorsement. I don't have to endorse something to accept it.
Acceptance is not liking something. I don't have to like something to accept it.
Acceptance is not submission. I don't have to be submissive in order to have acceptance.
Acceptance just is. It's very Zen-like.
Given that last statement and your location, a path towards dealing with depression may not be through Western methods of medicating or talking it away, but rather, through an exploration and application of Eastern philosophy. In fact, you seem to have already rejected the Western method, "I can't seem to find any non medical help for depression in Taiwan though", but it should be easier to find traditional, Eastern practitioners in your country.
Now to anger. As a practical, day-to-day thing you can do in response to your statement, "people get mad at me and I had no idea why", I have a bit of advice: Ask them.
When you think someone is mad at you, ask them why. You may find out that they aren't mad at you but that you're misinterpreting them and you only think that they are. Or you may find out that they have a genuine issue with you or your actions. Armed with this knowledge, you can decide if it's something you want to change and can change if you want to.
Many times, however, I find that the problem isn't with me at all, it's with the people who are mad at me. Everyone has problems and not everyone handles them appropriately. This can include taking it out on someone else. My parents were forever angry with me, citing their disappointment in me and my life (and that I'm gay and wouldn't be giving them grandchildren). After a while, I learned they were actually disappointed in their own lives and their anger and regret towards themselves "came out sideways" directed at me.
You may find out people who appear to be mad at you actually have control issues of their own. What they're really mad at is that they can't control you. There's a lot of this in my parents too. They couldn't make my life turn out the way they had wanted their own to turn out.
Increasingly common in the West, is that people don't have an appropriate outlet for their anger. In order to get rid of it, they take it out on "safe" or convenient targets. That might be you.
But until you ask and get an understandable answer, you'll never know. So ask.
You can see how this ties into the "anger turned inward" thing above. It doesn't have to be your own anger turned inwards, it can be someone else's.
We're both gay, so you may relate to this one. When I'd get called various derogatory names, or I was told that I deserve to get AIDS, die a horrible death, then burn in hell, that used to send me into depths of drug abuse and depression. I took their anger and turned it inwards.
These days, I see the problem is not with me, but with their failure to achieve acceptance. Yeah, you could also say it's because they want to make themselves feel better by putting me down, but looking behind it, it's their rigid lack of acceptance that makes them feel that way.
Anyway, knowing that I'm not the problem (although I may be a focal point for their problem) has changed my outlook entirely. No longer angry with myself or with them over the matter, I feel sorry for them that they can't enjoy the benefits of acceptance that I can. Their lives would be much easier for them if they could find acceptance. But that's their journey, not mine.
This is a concrete example of a place where I can't change the situation, but I can change my outlook. And I have.
It's also a concrete example of Eastern martial arts philosophy in practice, in that I'm sidestepping an attack, rendering it useless. It's an opponent I cannot defeat, but I can deflect and defeat their attack.
Finally, even if none of this is helpful, keep this in mind:
Everything will turn out okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.
I was first diagnosed with unipolar depression in the early 90s and was put onto lithium. To cut a long story short, I also was trialled on Epilim and, more recently, Lexapro. I've found these all worked for me in varying degrees but not without side effects.
After a lot of personal research through books and the internet, I have managed to wean myself off these artificial, chemical concoctions that may have goodness knows what affect in the long term, and now instead am trying to maintain a balanced diet. I think psych doctors (not unlike other doctors) are easily swayed by drug companies, and they become legal drug pushers, and I don't like it, so...
Technical stuff ahead, but worth reading...
The main thing that has helped me is the discovery of the theory that an imbalance in essential fatty acids will induce depression in the brain. It's believed the typical western diet is now so skewed that instead of us consuming a diet with a ratio of 1:1 of Omega 3 and Omega 6 EFAs, it's more like 20:1 or 50:1, ie. too much Omega 6 and not enough Omega 3. Studies have shown countries that consume a lot of seafood (which is rich in Omega 3) have very low incidence of depression. Taiwan should be one of those countries, owing to traditional diets where plenty of fish is eaten, but perhaps, like most other places, you are succumbing to the disasterous western diet that is out of balance.
If you do a bit of research yourself you'll find out about the essential fatty acids imbalance thesis of depression.
Anyhow, what I was going to say is, I take plenty of fish oil daily and I'm doing just fine. The brain is working nicely and depression (hopefully) is something I'll never need deal with again.
Luke
So Omega 3 , which is found in fish products, significantly reduces depression and chemical disorders in the brain. Interesting yet hard to believe at the same time. If a cure to depression was as simplistic as this there would be no such thing as depression and everyone would be gay(not that gay).
Well I never said it was the be-all and end-all to the problem, but it's A solution that happened to work for me. A question was asked of the board which means anyone may answer it, so I offered my opinion based on my experience. I don't profess to be an expert despite how I may have come across.
Luke
I have 2 big bottles of omega 3 fish oil but I keep forgetting to take them... If there were some ways of somehow incorperating them into foods I eat....
Yea Taiwan is kinda fat cause you know, lots of fried food everywhere and all kinds of weight loss "solutions" out there too, you know promise lose weight in 30 days or less kind of thing, some with some bad health consequences too! One girl in her 20's got osteoperosis because she took some weight loss "solutions"... I would rather stay fat than have osteoperosis! Problem is in Asia girls are very concious of their weight cause the society has an image that every girl has to be skinny and stuff to be wanted and people will do anything to lose weight here. I have a gut that looks like its got a baby inside and I dont drink beer, and frankly I dont know what to do about it, cause no amount of less eating/exercise does anything about it, so who knows?
Hi Tai Fu. I have suffered from clinical depression for many years. One thing that is really great for depression is exercise. If you can work out at a gym for 45 minutes to an hour at least 3 times a week, you will really notice a difference. Plus, when you are fit, you feel better about yourself. Exercise produces endorphins in your brain--a natural drug. It really helps and you never have to worry about getting busted. lol
TLH
