new thread
Hey all, I have been lurking for a few days because I'm sore over missing my long hair and I decided to post.
Let me give you the story.
Currently, I am a high school student. (16 years old)
I started growing my hair out in august 2004 when I was 14 years old. I grew my hair out for about 17 months and then I had to cut it. My parents moaned and complained and said I should cut it every day of the 17 month period and I resisted. But, that special time came when it was time to get my liscense.(sp?) So, there I was, 15 years old, on the brink of turning 16, I had hair past my shoulders and my parents hit me where it hurt. "Travis, you have to cut your hair to get your liscense. We will not take you to get it unless you cut your hair." What am I do to? Having my liscense meant so much to me and I knew they would never back down because they wanted my hair to be cut so bad they probably would have lost a limb for it to happen. So I cut it.
At first they tried to style it in a style about a 1/3 the length of what it was and it looked absolutely horrid. We had another style as a back up plan, though. Bascially, my hair was cut down to 1/4 inch around the sides and between 3/4-1 inch on the top. It hurt. Bad.
After getting it cut I felt like I had lost a part of myself. I felt like I was missing something. Eventually, I got over it. Or rather, I THOUGHT I got over it. I only suppressed the feelings as long as I could. Recently, it has hit me again. I feel like less of a person without my long hair.
So here is my question to you gentlemen (and ladies?). Should I risk losing my liscense, my truck, and anything else my parents deem necessary to take away if I grew my hair back out? Or should I just put it on hold until I'm 18 (1 year 9'ish months) and grow it back then? In the end, I would bet my lifes earnings on them taking away both my liscense and my truck if I start to grow it back out.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond!
Personal website
Wait until you are 18. You have your whole life ahead of you and right now
I'd be willing to bet that a truck and a license would certainly be WORTH THE WAIT!
(You WILL do the right thing because you already know in your heart...just what that is.)
Good luck!
hey if you start growing your hair now and leave it at a length your parents allow then you could start growing it from there when youre 18 that way you wont have to start from the beggining like me
OPPO: You could start growin it out now to a point where your folks still tolerate it and don't take your privleges away. That way you don't have to start fresh at 19 and you can test the waters again. By the way, have you asked them why they
don't want you to have long hair? Good luck
Dude that sucks luckly my parens arent like that because my dad used to have longhair when he was a teenager so he can accept my decision to grow my hair out. I still dont see how they can threaten you like that i think that is very harsh of them. i mean whos hair is it not theirs lol. but if it means them taking away somthing very special to you then you should wait.
My Dad had long hair in the '70s, but only to conform with the fashion of the time. He's not too bad but he's clearly against my long hair.
Hi OPPO,
sorry to learn what has happened to you. Having gone through hair-related abuse in my youth in the early 70's, I know how you feel - that IS hurting badly. And I'm flabbergasted to learn that guys like your parents, who may even be my generation, would do these things to their kids. In any case, you're a strong person if you resisted them for 17 months - my respect!
And of course, things like a driver's licence and a truck are important - or are you in a big city with excellent public transportation? In any case, no-one can blame you for yielding in your situation. -
Give yourself some time to mourn. After some time, start seeing yourself as an "undercover longhair" for a time (almost like a "prince" turned into a "frog", if you like fairy tales), but socialize with some great long-haired male friends. That way you remain focused on who you are and how you want to be. At the same time, stay drug free (both legal and illegal) and get good grades (seriously, do make that a priority - your parents loose two handles of manipulating you).
Since your hair is pretty short on the top, you'll have nothing to loose from getting a trim around the ears and in the neck in a few months, but DON't let the stylist touch your hair on the top, and make sure you grow your hair as long as possible in the front (bangs).
Once your hair has grown a bit more, and your parents start bugging you again, question their reasons and post their responses if you want, to get some ammunition for your further discussion with them.
In any case, you'll get back out from under-cover in a little more than a year, and you'll have lost not much more than a year.
Hope that helps, brother, stay strong, and you'll prevail in due time.
Best wishes,
Hans-Uwe
You are young and still living with the parents. They do not seem real keen on your long hair to the point of manipulating you with material rewards and punishments if you do not comply with their wishes.
There is a lot more to life than long hair, and as a teen, driving and freedom are crucial. Your life is not going to be made or broken by your hair length. I started growing my hair out at 19 and had to cut it for religious reasons (I was a mormon getting ready to go on a religious mission for two years). Getting jobs, looking "respectable" for jobs and family kept me with short hair for a long time. Now at age 38 I have been growing it long for well over one year and am very happy, because I am free to grow my hair and anyone who complains gets my big extended middle finger!
I recommend making peace at home and when you are out on your own in a few years you can make your own decisions and your parents won't have any way to manipulate you with menial punishments. Hang tough and good luck!
Tyler
I see where you guys are coming from and you're right. In my heart I do know what is right. I guess I was looking for some support and I got it! :)
My parents said that they don't like my hair "becaues it looks bad". Right. Whatever. =P
If you all want to see some of the pictures of my hair heres a link..
http://www.xombc.com/datbme.htm (These are only fromt he back/side, though)
^ That was my hair after a trim that I didnt want. My hair is now shorter...A LOT shorter.
Not sure if you care, but that was my hair before I get the huge cut that I descdribed.
Thanks again!
http://www.xombic.comI argued with my parents for years and years over my hair, and we still don't see eye to eye on the subject (and I'm 48!).
You know, the DMV don't need your parents there to issue you a licence. You could have got one whether they took you there or not. As for the truck, that's a little bit more difficult, but when I was that age I got a very small used motorcycle that I saved up half the money for myself, and my dad kicked in the rest when he saw that it would take me too long to save up.
Personally, I wouldn't have been so keen to be that dependent, or have agreed to cut my hair for anything like that, but then I am a very stubborn person. Probably most of us guys with long hair are as stubborn as mules.
You have to push the envelope. Hang on as long as possible before getting haircuts, avoid having parents with you when you go, tell the barber to take only a miniscule amount off, and repeat as necessary. Of course, you don't have to do that, but if you don't your hair will be way too short!
Hi there!
Well, in your position I wouldn't have cut it for the first time, so I'd definitly grow it again if I were you. Tough, I think it's important to assure a good relationship with your parents, I do think you should tell them your feelings and make them undertand that you want to be yourself, and that they have to respect it. I know that sometimes, and in some cases, it can be hard to talk to our parents but it's always possible, you just have to use the right words, based on your knowladge on how they can react. Make them feel you'll be really happy to grow your hair again but you don't want them to puching you for being yourself...
Hope this helped... =)
They cannot take away your licence because they did not issue the licence.
They may quit paying for your insurance, your gas, etc.or quit lending you their vehicles.
However, if you are doing well in school and not in trouble with the constable, then I bet they will just not notice your beautiful hair getting longer. After all, do not give up on the hope that they too can grow. Let's even assume they have, already.
Meanwhile, make sure you study your algebra.
James
