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Hi guys,
Ever since i started growing my hair out, my mum has been totally supportive. She would give me tips on maintaining hair and all. But i sent her my florida trip pictures last week thinking that she will appreciate my 8 months of growing. But one of her relatives told her that i need a close cut and a clean shave. So my mum now developed some kind of phobia and started nagging me to cut my hair off. 2 days back we were chatting thro yahoo and she started nagging, and i told her that i am growing for my satisfaction and not for hers. I was rather rude. Now she is upset and i am guilty that i shuldnt have been that rude.
She keeps on telling me that i looked young and better with shrt hair and i have become like a ragmuffin after grwing my hair out, which makes me totally angry sometimes. I am looking for an internship starting may, june and she says i must not attend interviews with this kind of hair and they wont even let me inside the interview venue and all.
Sorry guys for this long rant, wanted to share it with you abt how people's mind are corrupted by idiotic people.
Cheers!
Kumar
Sorry to hear that - I hope your mum changes her mind as it would be a shame to cut your hair now that its looking so great! I wish mine was that length now!
That really stinks, it took me forever for me to get my mom to approve of my hair-growing. But all that can be done is to just hang in there, because if they care about you enough they'll give up eventually. Although I dont doubt your mom saying the exact same thing about cutting it short.
just hang in there, hopefully you can keep on growing it
Hello Everyone,
I have posted at other occasions about my early adulthood, and my mom's change of mind towards my long hair. At 16 my mom considered my hair OK, and at 17 it was not.
That started fived years of cold war, arguments, until, in 1981 I landed a job despite my long hair. What my mom did not understand, was that the IT industry was more tolerant towards long hair, except that the firm my mom worked for was IBM which had a strict dress code.
After I landed a job, the comments died down a bit, and by 1985 my mom found my hair beautiful again.
Have a nice day,
Georges in Montreal
Hey dude, don't worry about your mom so much as the internship. Ultimately, family can be considered way more important than any silly job, but your mom has a point about big or "ragamuffin" (lol!) hair. Compared to straight hair, you'd be surprised how curly/thick hair of the same length can be frowned upon. Your hair is looking thick and healthy right now, but the thickness gives you a youthful, if not somewhat wild appearance, and the more narrow-minded bosses won't like it. I suggest you at least slick back your hair with gel or the like to keep things as neat as possible for the interviews.
Now as to your mom, well, it's a cycle many of us go through, particularly us thick-haired dudes. Thick hair is stereotypically associated with drugs and rebellion and the sort. The way it worked with me was that my mom nagged at me to cut my hair for practically the entire first year (or at least to brush it back with gel), but after my hair got a bit longer and heavier (and naturally neater), she began to give into it, and nowadays, even though she still says she'd like to see me with a short cut, she supports me in my hair growth. I think she secretly likes it. :) Bottom line, your mom's probably gonna relent when your hair hits around shoulder-length.
Good luck with stuff!
I seriously hope so man. I am really fed up. Actually i have more hair than my mum. She went close haired a few years ago and ever since that she seems to have liked that kind of style. But i am not worried about my mum right now. All i am worried abt is my internship. Will i really get rejected based on my hair and not me skills? I need to find a job by may or july or alteast by july as i have i will be finishing my college after may.
Thanks anyway for the encouragement all u guys gave. I hope my mum understands.
Cheers!
Kumar
people tell me my hair looks thick (though i don't really see it =s) but anyway, i brush my hair back and it stays in place so that it's neat :p thing is, i don't use gel--i hate the stuff. it always makes me break out. anyway i do it when i have to go into work--imagine trying to put 9 months of growth under a Starbucks cap lol
and i'm receiving the same thing from my mom. except i don't think she knows how long my hair is--i keep my hair brushed back in place so much that nobody really knows how long my hair is lol it looks like it's only 2 inches but it's a little over 4 now and it's nice and soft and i can't wait until i can finally tie it back in a pony tail =s my advice to you--follow Fallen_angels' advice lol
Your Mom is.
Unfortunately someone who she respects has told her that your hair symbolizes something abhorent, like that you approve of George Bush, or that you thought the United States should not have invated Iraq. Or perhaps they told her that Long hair means that you are gay. Or perhaps someone has told her than long hair means that you are an assain. Who knows.
You need to tell her that Long Hair to you means the freedom to be yourself. The freedom to recognizes that you are a sensual and sexual being. The freedom to respect those who are different from you. And only you know, but it is possible that long hair to you means the determination to negotiate rather than fight; to attempt to persuade rather than the attempt to force conformity.
But whatever, find out how it came to be that she felt she could no longer support your long hair. Find out who she has been talking to and what they have told her.
James
yea i got the same problem with an interveiw im going to for a university and accomodation
Well, first, I would apologize to mom although she may be in the wrong. She is after all mom. She is probably not so worried about whether or not she likes your hair or that you like your hair, but more about the fact that some one else said something negative about you which is a reflection on her.
As for the interview, I imagine they will let you in. I also imagine that you should expect a positive outcome. It will turn out as good or bad as you expect it to be. And as for presentability of the hair, tame the innate wildness of curly/wavy hair a little by using just a slight amount of gel. You don't have to slick it back and plaster it down with some kind of gloopy, sticky stuff. Just maybe try some lighter gel like L'oreal melting gel, just a little is all you need. It for me at least can make all the differnce between frizzy and wind blown looking versus neat and tidy. I just take it in my hands after the hair has been combed after washing or just wetting and run them over the hair and like you are going to tie a tail. Then kind of scrunch it up a little and let it dry. Works pretty well.
Good luck.
Hi Kumar,
with all respect for your mom, she does not have the right to nag you. Mothers usually have a hard time to understand that. Several important things have been said already, like trying to understand who gave her the negative ideas about long hair...
Concerning "rudeness": In all respect that we owe to our parents, they need to have respect for our borders and our personality. If polite requests haven't stopped your mother, then a degree of explicitness (call it rudeness if you want) is warranted. You don't need to feel bad about that.
In any case, you don't have to buy any of her lines, just throw them out of your mind, as a "meditative" mental exercise. That way, these lines can't linger on and cause damage later.
As for the interview, it's important that you feel good about yourself and confident about your qualifications and abilities. Wearing your hair in a way you feel good about is an important part of that. It also signals to the interviewer that you want to be appreciated not as a member of a certain group, but as an individual person with unique capabilities.
Best wishes, and good luck,
Hans-Uwe
I think long hair can be an advantage even in ways wherein it's seen as a disadvantage. For example in an interview, here's a guy that'll stand out, and the employer might be curious to see what makes him tick. It makes a person more interesting. He thinks for himself and he's man enough to take a bit of stick for it.
Your mother reminds me of my parents - there's a spark of non-conformity there somewhere, but it's heavily repressed.
Thank you guys for all the encouragement. I think my mum was harsh coz probably my hair looks unruly now. What she doesnt understand is that i am still in the awkward stage and after a while it will start looking neat. I think she will believe once she sees it.
Thank you once again for ur words of wisdom.
Cheers!
Kumar
