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Has anyone ever tried/had any luck with some sort of curl defining anti-frizz shampoo/conditioner?
Yes, I got some Redken 'Fresh Curls' Conditioner the other day, and it does work for me. I did not get the shampoo that went along with it. It was kind of expensive, so I just use it every now and then. The anti-frizz shampoo and conditioners usually contain silicon type chemicals, so I believe it is best not to use them all the time.
I use Sunsilk shampoo for curly/wavy hair. It boasts that it reduces frizz and defines natural curls - indeed it does so quite well.