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So on my Easter vacation my cousins from New York come over to visit us. The exact second they saw me I could tell that they were not liking the hair, it was just a feeling I had. Well, it turns out I was right becasue later on in the day that's all I heard from them. The first thing from one of them was "get a haircut. I hate guys who have longer hair than me" that caused everyone else to speak up. My other cousin said "dont grow your hair longer than mine please (then after about 10 seconds she told me) nah just shave your head, you look like a woman" They brought it up alot within the time they were here. Thankfully, I only see them once a year so I dont have to hear that crap for a while. But the last thing I said to them when they walked out the door was "Alright see you all next year, with my hair a lotlonger than it is now!!" Whatever they did say after that I didnt hear it. But thats pretty much how my vacation went. Annoying cousins and nothing else for me to do but hear them talking about how much they dont like my hair.
However my aunt and uncle did not have any bad things to say, my aunt wanted to touch it "it's so soft". I laughed when my uncle commented my hair by saying "Now you look like Johnny Damon!" and that reminded me "Not anymore, he had to cut his hair to play for the yankees" that was basically all I heard out of them, which wasnt bad at all really
It's just so stupid, isn't it? Why do people have to moan about our long hair? Makes you feel like saying, "Well, who asked you anyway? It's my hair, not yours. I'm not going to cut it just to suit you."
I get the same from my mother, a common problem amongst most guys on this board. And do we complain non-stop about THEIR hair? I think I can say with confidence, no, we don't. Perhaps we could start saying, "Gee, you know, you could lose some weight" or something else equally offensive. When they get upset with us for saying it all the time, then they'll know how WE feel.
Hang in there, Caesar. We're all here on this board to help each other.
Luke
When these comments come from women, as both yours and Caesar's did, you can always reply with, "Wear a dress! You look like a man!" [grin] If they're going to foist a 1950's stereotype on you, you can reciprocate!
Bill
Agreed!!!! How about if a woman has a short haircut? It even makes it easier to say "You look like a man!" Also, if any woman comments about me "looking like a girl", I find it effective also to say "What happen to the Street of Equality? Aren't both sexes supposed to be equal? Are there not supposed to be any differences between the sexes?" "Why aren't you living in the 21st Century like you want men to?" "If women/girls don't want to follow tradition, why do men/boys have to?" AND "If women don't want men controlling them and parts of their body, then women shouldn't be controlling men and parts of their body!". TURNABOUT IS FAIR PLAY!!!!! Especially when they called men "male chauvinist pigs" back in the 1970's (I was a teenager back in the 1970's - I fully remember what was said back then - and I will use it against any sexist women who trys to push me back to the stoneages!!! - Keep their feet to the fire!!!) Who is the most sexist, hypocritical and big egoed sex? Thanks for letting me rant!!!!
This is going to sound wholly bizarre, but I'm a girl, and my family's constantly telling ME to get a haircut. Apparently it's proper for a Jewish girl to have very short hair, particularly after they're married, but it seems like my family is hell-bent on getting me used to it beforehand. What the heck? At least I get support from my (not Jewish) dad.
Just goes to show that it's all across the board, though I imagine you guys have it much worse than I do. Anyway, I thought it was kind of amusing, what with the thread and all.
Keep growing it, guys. You all look great.
I like to respond to someone when they make comments about my appearence it goes something like this .........
Is it my turn now to tell "you" how to change your appearence to fit my liking ???
Hate it when people are so critical of hair on heads other than their own. Your hair looks great, can't picture you with short hair. Hell, I think long hair looks better on guys than it does on girls. :)
Okay, I did not mean for the huge picture of my face to be there.
What a shame your cousins had nothing better to talk about in a family get together of once a year.
Oh well, next year should be really exciting! And by then they actually may not even know what to say. Glad you paid them no attention to speek of as all they wanted was to hear you defend yourself and then they could really let you have it.
"He who laughs first, laughs last."
Unlike friends (in most circumstances) some family members beleive that they have the right to express their opinions about you quite openly even if they know its going to cause offence. I'm not saying that they shouldnt have the right to their own opinions, fair enough if they dont like long hair. But why express a negative opinion knowing that it may cause the receipent to feel uncomfortable and possibly humiliated!
Again, I dont beleive that you should not have the right to express an opinion just becuase its something that not everyones going to want to hear but come on this is hardly a huge political issue, its just long hair!
Anyway, I've found it best not to overanalyse this to much. If you spend too much time thinking about the ridiculous comments from family it means those comments really had some impact on you, which is exactly what they wanted. Eventually I beleive you get to a stage of really not caring what others say anymore, if an opinion holds no value then why bother thinking about it?
Ok - I'm going to stop here im starting to bang on a bit now.
Mogh
Honestly, I myself like the good coments as well as I like the bad coments, because coments of the type "get a haircut" and "you look like a woman" only mean that your hair is really long now =) Also, it's really funny to deal with those coments and get people to know that they can't change our minds and that we'll never cut our hair despite anything they may say... Next year I hope you'll have a blast cheking your hair is longer than everyone else in your family =) See ya!
You already know the answer you're gonna get from all of us, but don't sweat what they say. You already seem far too cool to take what they say seriously/critically, so what am I even typing this for? Ah, of course, to tell you that your hair is way too amazing to criticize. The envy! And perhaps your cousins will feel some of the same envy when you indeed come back with hair longer than theirs.
Keep up the rockin'-ness.
Hi Caesar,
The remark "I hate guys who have longer hair than me" is an explicit admission of ENVY. So, no need to worry about that. IF the remarks of these cousins ever should get truely obnoxious, THEN I'd avoid interacting with them if you can help it.
Hope you hang in forever. You look great with your hair - the longer the better.
Hans-Uwe
That's really cool that your aunt and uncle were much more positive about your hair than your cousins. Glad there's more open mindedness than you might think out there.
I also loved your last comment to your cousins as they left, you couldn't have come up with a better ending :)
I know what you mean.
I went to my aunt and uncles and everyone in my family (except one of my cousins) told me my hair looked stupid and should be cut. They kept telling me this until they saw that I could really care less what they thought about my hair, then they stopped and said things like, "Well you are a drummer."
Most people live their lives on automatic pilot without reflections, simply saying what they think is expected by convention. There is nothing wrong with someone choosing to be conventional, but it is deadly when they press it on others.
These people are loosers.
Perhaps the time will come when progressive men will wear short hair, becuase the world of long hairs has been corrupted. For now, however, we are the free, the bold, the creative, and the caring.
James
It is something I have experienced when my hair was long previous to my new re-growth. It is a wierd idea that people think it is ok to say these things to a guy, but if you said it to a girl it would be seen as very rude.
Its almost as if they feel that you've let yourself go, ot that you've forgotten to get your hair cut, it doen't seem to enter their minds that you may actually want it this way!!
Anyway Ceasar long hair looks totally natural on you (and most people I would say), so carry on, and remember we all get it to some degree!!
How old are you cousins? That sounds like a very juvenile thing to say. Why would they care? They aren't supposed to be physically attracted to you, anyway.
But, if you don't want to get mistaken for a girl, ever, start lifting weights. Don't have to get big, at all. Lifting weights will just give you a more masculine physique. Just something to think about.
