new thread
I posted before, some of you may or may not remember me. My hair just reached about 6.5 inch length and I was very very happy about it. Well my family wasn't doing so good, and my dad is very pregidous about many things, and hair is a main one of them. He wouldn't let me get a car, wouldn't let me get my license, refused to take me to required band events [for my concert school band], and such, and to make it worse he threw in guilt by threatening to not let my sister do things with her friends until I got my hair cut. So I went completely against all my needs and desires and cut my hair to a meesly 1 1/2 inch length. I know your saying, 5 inches, that isnt that bad. Well to add salt to the wound, he still wont let me get a car or license and basically did the whole thing to piss me off. My mother is too much of a pacifist to do anything about any of this too. So yeah, I am going to regrow my hair. Anyone got any advise on how to deal with pain of having to regain hair after a hair cut being forced on you?
WOW, That sux man, does your Dad have a different reason why he won't let you get your license? I was 19 when I got my license, but my parents waited because I live in a dense traffic area and they were concerned for my safety. Being 25 now, I see eye to eye with them on this. Peaple are nuts behind the wheel in this area. LOL Not to mention rush hour traffic jams and rising gas prices, sometimes I wish the bus ran to my house LOL.
In reguards to your hair, don't stress it, your young and you will have plenty of opertunities to grow it back. If it bugs you a lot, take up a hobby to take your mind off things. I like to work on computers, UNIX / Linux, and repair vintage stereo receivers to relieve stress.
Have you tried talking to your Dad and explaining to him how much your hair means to you, and why he does not like it. There must be a reason, unless he is a complete dill hole, and trust me, I have been around a lot of dill holes.
Hang in there, and if you need someone to talk to, my door is always open.
ESDI
Thank you for the kind words and support, I have been relentlessly trying to talk with about this issue but I don't seem to get anywhre. But I will keep talking to him. So your into computers from what I can tell? Hmm, yeah I guess finding a good hobby might help a bit. If you ever want to drop me a email or something go for it, rloboy@hotmail.com, I love to talk and so maybe having someone to discuss hair with would make me feel better/be more encouraged in my regrowing process.
Thank you for the kind words and support, I have been relentlessly trying to talk with about this issue but I don't seem to get anywhre. But I will keep talking to him. So your into computers from what I can tell? Hmm, yeah I guess finding a good hobby might help a bit. If you ever want to drop me a email or something go for it, rloboy@hotmail.com, I love to talk and so maybe having someone to discuss hair with would make me feel better/be more encouraged in my regrowing process.
I used to have a TX Driver license, but then now I am back in Taiwan I dont have a license or a car (or motorcycles...) and dont want any either. If you think American drivers are bad, wait til you come to Asia. People drive around here like they are trying to deliver a kidney for transplant or something. Everyone is in such a rush that no one really cares about traffic rules or whatnot. Laws are suggestions here especially traffic laws... Sometimes I am even uncomfortable with riding busses because bus driver have like a mental illness here and they tailgate and stuff like crazy, you do not want to be near a bus or truck driver when you drive in Taiwan...
After having seen the video (link below), I believe every word you're saying :-)
I feel for you man. It sucks when you're forced to cut your hair by people who don't understand why a guy would want long hair in the first place. So I saw the only way to deal with this loss is regorw it and just ignore your old man. He'll eventurally come around. My own dad was against me growing my hair out, but now he's even doing it, and we're both happy with the results.
We already have a member of the board who has been around quite a while with the screen name "Robert" (see member directory).
You might try using a variation to avoid confusion.
Hello =(
Well, it seems that there are some parents who are realy dificult to deal with, and you sure seems to be a case like this... please, priving your sister of doing her life if you don't cut your hair?? Does your father know how simply stupid and childish is that?? Please, if you are old enough to get a licence than your old enough to grow your hair or do whatever you want with your life! And your father has to know that the only power he can have on you (and this is only while you live in his house) is about money, despite that, it is you who deciedes the rest, if you're a responsable guy of course, and I'm sure you are... so regrow you hair to a lovely long mane that someday you'll shake in your dad's face... he really made me mad GRR! That's really unfair, as to you and to your sister... just tell her that you really feel bad about what your dad is doing and that you already tried satisfied him and he showed no adult behavior (as he didn't show from the beggining)...
Now about your hair... just be patient fellow... I know it would be very hard and disparing for me if someone cuts my hair and I'd have to regorw it all over =( But you got to be strong, and when you reach your goal you'll be just so happy to know that it is YOU who deceided the way you want to look... and that time will surely come =)
I wish you all the best luck dealing with your situation, just try to get things going without any discussion, since that does turns things worst... just makes sure to make your dad know that he simply CAN'T decide the way you look... He's not the one who looks at the mirror every morning and sees your reflection... it is you =)
Hello,
I find it hard to believe that today's parents make issues with their children's hair. They have seen long hair in their lives, probably attended major rock concerts themselves, and even may had it long themselves. It seems we are in 2006, and one should expect better tolerance on issues of hair and other harmless issues.
Have a nice day,
Georges in Montreal
Anyone got any advise on how to deal with pain of having to regain hair after a hair cut being forced on you?
I wonder, isn't this a form of identity theft??!!! After all, the father (as usual) is in this case trying to think of ways to indirectly make his son to cut his hair (a part of his identity) by controlling factors around him and trying to directly make others miserable that are around him until he gets what he wants. And he did!!!! In my opinion, this father is guilty of stealing the identity of his son!!! There ought to be a law!!!
Hi Robert,
I'm sorry to learn what you have been and are going through. From what you describe (your dad still not letting you get your driver's licence after that destructive haircut), I suspect that he has certain problems, and serious self-hate may be among these problems. Doing such bastardly things to one's own son, just to piss him off, seems to spell "I'm not happy, and you don't have a right to be happy either."
All this means that you'll have to completely separate your own wellbeing from that of your father - you'll have to become completely independent, mentally, emotionally, and - as soon as feasible - economically. As soon as you're 18, your best bet may be to move out - or is your dad willing to help you with college, without dishing out further emotional abuse? In most countries, there are grants and loans available to get through college, even without parents' help.
In any case, make sure you hang out with friends who fully accept you as the person who you are, a longhair at heart, even if it doesn't show right now. Even without knowing you, I strongly suspect that you're a great and lovable person, someone who wants to stand for love and respect between human beings with his life - even if your dad and his example try to teach you the opposite. The essence is, you have a right to become yourself and to be happy as the person YOU are. You probably want to be accepting (which includes self-acceptance) and loving, and you have all the right in the world to make and carry through your own decisions.
All the best for your "hair recovery", and besides, nurture and let grow not only your hair, but all the other great traits of your personality as well.
Wishing you long-term peace and happiness,
Hans-Uwe
P.S. If you want, you may drop me a line by clicking on my user name - I'll respond, I promise.
Grow your hair. After a betrayal like that he has no ground to stand on. You life will be long. With behavior like you describe his will sadly be short.
You may tell him that the prophet has spoken.
James
