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You ever get some point in your life where your social skill seems to suck no matter how hard you tried? I mean its like I go to church and no one wants to talk to me, or on the internet no one wants to talk to me either. I wonder why...
(n/t)
hey Tai fu don't beat yourself up man
take a step back and start wondering why?
what would happen if you did the complete opposite of everything?
people can smell desperation and lack of confidence...so if you change your outlook it'll be for the better and things will start to change
The one who craves the most attention tends to be the loneliest. You need to learn how to get along better with yourself before you can really appreciate the company of others.
If you're directing that at me because I wouldn't talk to you this afternoon, I WAS actually busy at the time. I was at home, helping my mother clean up around the house. I've been extremely busy of late, hence this is the first post I've made here for several days, and haven't been able to chat on MSN either.
MSN sometimes has a habit of signing in by itself without you taking any action. This certainly happened today, at a time when I was very busy and certainly had no time to be chatting online.
It may be true that (occasionally) someone doesn't want to talk to you, but that's not always the case. It may be that they are telling you the truth: that they simply can't chat at that time.
Luke
Please keep in mind that communication via internet - as funny, entertaining or even profound it may be - should never be a substitue for real man-to-man communication. It's important to have real life friends out there. I'm not really good at making new friends, I'm quite shy and sceptical when meeting new people - but being a musician, I've found my way to meet new people through music, communicate, have fun, enjoy life together etc.
What I want to say: If you have someTHING that makes you happy in complete self-sufficiency this is a very great gift. And once you've found this "inner" happiness, you'll automatically be attractive to other people.
Maybe you just have to find out yet what it is that makes you happy? Aren't you the guy who makes this marvellous tie-dye shirts? Doesn't this make you happy?
I get it alot with people I dont talk to often. Eventually it gets easier though, I've been trying my best to be more social towards people. I'm sure everything will be alright for you
Are you happy with yourself? If not, people won't want to be around you. To be happy with yourself, you don't have to love yourself; you just have to be content with yourself. Make changes so you like the guy that you are. Contentment comes from changing what you can change and coming to accept what you can't change, so that you can get on with, and enjoy, your life.
Once you are content, you will begin smiling when you have contact with others. If your photo on the board here is any indication of how you look at people most of the time, your difficulty at making contacts is understandable.
Bill
Right on, Bill.
The way I look at it, the "outside" world and my experience in it, is a mirror of what's inside myself.
You could rephrase the "Golden Rule" to read:
"Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you"
- Oren
Accept yourself (unconditionally), and you will be accepted.
Love yourself and be loved.
Give of yourself and you recieve.
Listen and you will be heard.
You may be trying too hard. Be an oasis of calm, try not to care, enjoy 'awkward silences', interested is interesting.
Nope not for a long time and it's just of those skills that you pick up in life and the life school of knocks.
John.B
Hey, i know how you feel man, and you cant beat yourself up for it, cuz it will only make things worse. Sometimes you know people just dont feel like talking, not because they have somthing against you or somthing, but they're just tired or they got alot going on. Or maybe they're just not use to talking or they're shy u kno? and their will be lots of times when it will seem like theirs no one who likes you but its not true, uve got tons of friends here on the boards it sounds like, and im sure you have friends who live around you. But really man you cant blame yourself, i did when it felt like my friends were leaving me, and because i wouldnt listen to them when they said they were just worried about me, they left me, so now all day at school im alone and very rarely talk to anyone, and i regret it everday, but i know i put it on myself so i live with it now. But you got alot people here on the boards supporting you, sometimes it doestn feel like much but you have to really think about it, and you wont feel so lonely. I mean im sure at times you dont feel like talking to some people, not because u dislike them or anything but just u kno to get some time alone or talk to someone else or your just tired. Just trust your friends and i promise you things will get better.
Don't feel bad man. Know that Jesus loves you just the way you are, despite your social skills or lack thereof. Always remember he died for you, so you must be important.
Keep it growin'!
A statement which presumes the possibility of a probably mythological person having the ability to love someone 2000 years after their supposed death. How this is meant to help someone improve their social skills is unclear to me.
LOL, that was my first thought too. But as much as I personally dislike all common forms of organized mass religions - for some people out there it really works to believe (in whatever supernatural being) and helps them to master life (somehow). So to each his own... :-)
Agnostic regards, Alex
