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I'd like to know if any of you have ever received a totally neutral reaction to your long hair from relatives, close friends, etc. I got back recently from a trip to visit my parents who I haven't seen since last August. They saw my hair [down, not tailed], looked at it, didn't say a word, no visible looks at all. Knowing my parents as I do, I sorta took this as 'We don't care for it, but it's your hair.' For the rest of the trip, whenever we were together, I had it tailed. Just wondering if you've ever had this same scenario happen to you. Another reason for tailing it is that sometimes it gets awful windy in Albuquerque [New Mexico]!
--Rick
Hello,
Since you know your parents, and you did not get any "looks" or other non-verbal cues about your hair, I guess your parents were really neutral about your hair.
Where things get more complex, is if you had Asperger's Syndrome, like I do, I will perceive that if nothing is said as neutrality. I remember back in the eighties as people around me were cutting off their seventies long hair to go into the yuppy trend of short business haircuts, I went the opposite way by growing my hair longer. Most reactions seemed neutral to me, however when I was accompanied by sensitive people, many would interpret the nonverbal reactions of others for me, painting me a very somber picture of the world for me. When alone, I see a brighter world because no one says anything bad about my hair, and those who say something say something positive, or constructive (like asking me to tie it back).
Have a nice day,
Georges in Montreal
That's what I thought, also. If my parents had strong feelings, one way or the other, I'd definitely hear about them!
Why would they do that?
Sounds good to me!
Take care, Georges...
--Rick in San Jose CA
Thats exactly the way I have been describing my perception of the reactions of friends and co-workers. Only one of my coworkers has ever said anything and that was a half joking comment about getting a haircut, and I know she really does like short hair on guys. Nobody else has said a word. Sometimes I wonder why, I guess they figure if you dont have anything nice to say, don't say anything. Or they really don't care. I have never asked.
My family I have not seen in many months so not one of them has yet seen my longer hair. I don't expect a positive response when I do though, they are very conservative.
"... Only one of my coworkers has ever said anything and that was a half joking comment about getting a haircut, and I know she really does like short hair on guys. Nobody else has said a word."
I've only had 1 friend who's ever said anything about my hair and she asked me a few times, "When are you going to cut your hair?" My usual answer, with a smile, "Whenever I feel like it!" She just laughed and hasn't said anything since. But she's the only to comment. I think most of my friends know to expect just about anything from me! :)
"Never judge a book by its cover. If you want to know me better, then read the book."
Neutral reactions are the majority i get from others. Things like "your hair is getting long" and "how long have you been growing your hair for?" are just standard comments without any deeper meaning or hidden messages. I also get positive compliments, especially from women. I have yet to have a negative comment. I get hard stares occasionally but no one has yet to say anything negative. When i straightened my hair last month i got alot of hard stares and negative looks whilst in public, especially from old people. I guess this was because when i straightened my hair it looked quite long then i got to see the reaction of all the ignorant people who dislike long hair.
You should be happy your parents don't care about your hair and aren't giving you pressure over it(not that it would bother you at your age). You did have long hair before you cut it off recently so maybe they have an image of you as having long hair. You would probably get a bigger reaction if you were to cut it off.
[Oops... sorry 'bout the previous reply!]
I agree, that was a great answer from Jean!
--Rick
I've been surprised that a lot of the women and girls who know me seem very supportive of my longer hair. Those who've said it looks better long have far outnumbered a few who thought I should go back to short.
My family is very conservative and not fond of men with long hair (they associate it with hippes, lol). My long hair has always confused the hell out of them since I'm the most extreme conservative in the family. They dont serioulsy complain or try to convince me to cut it. They just like to make the goofy offhand remarks from time to time. It's in fun and they would never intend it to bother me. They would be more than happy to stand up and defend my long hair if needed, but they would be just as happy if I cut it. Try to figure that one out, lol.
As for women, it's really odd. Women I've dated with long hair hated my short hair (as did I) and gave me hell over it. Women I've dated with short hair never like any style I had it in, but hate it now that it's long again. I gave up trying to figure out women years ago. Now I have much more fun with them.
