new thread
I 've just returned from my girlfriend's. And indeed, she was very surprised to see me with earrings (see post below; longhair and earrings). See had no idea I wanted them. She didn't like it very much: I now have more holes than see does (she only has 3, I have 3 left and 1 right and now I even have the urge to put in one more left and right).
She asked me if I had any more secrets so I told her I wanted to grow my hair very long as well (didn't mention the more earrings-stuff), to my lowerback, perhaps to my butt. Once again, she was very surprised and said she didn't like that a bit and wanted to know if I was becoming gay (btw. I'm not). In fact, it is because of her I started to grow my hair out in the first place. When she asked me this two years ago, with long hair she meant to my shoulders (it's a bit longer now) and not to my butt. She thinks hair that long isn't masculin at all (and the earrings on top of that)
Oh well, we argued a bit and that was that. We'll see how it goes.
Now my question : what do your partners and family think of (very)long hair? Are they supportive?
Hi ,
Look my photos in the message " my knee length hair " .My wife is very supportive .She helps me doing braid , brushing , washing , shampooing etc .In fact she likes me in long hair .Hers is only mid back length. Hair brings us closer infact .
It depends different people have different likings ,
Wish you all the best
Ashwin
My parents have no problems with either my hair or my earrings.
I would get more earrings/piercings, if it wasn't for my job banning them...
Thinking about getting some tattoos as well, my mom ain't too hooked on that idea, but she wouldn't cause trouble.
I don't have a significant other right now, but when I do find one I'll already have long hair and rings, so she won't have to suddenly adjust.
Great point!
Well, although my hair isn't anywhere near my goal of butt-length (copycat :P), every girl I mention it first goes, "wow!" as though it's a customary response, and then encourages me to try to attain it. I'm not sure they think I'll stick with it, though (most guys where I'm from grow out their (afro) hair, get dreads/braids for a few years and then cut them off for work). But at least they're supportive. The idea of femininity only came up once, and that was with a guy that asked me how long I'm growing my hair to. Most girls seem quite endeared to the idea of butt-length hair, really.
My parents' wow's aren't nearly as positive, though, and even if they've come to accept me with long hair, earrings are another matter entirely. I don't really want one at the moment, but if I came home one day with even just a pierced ear, my mom would go to the hospital, lol.
You should talk to your girlfriend about what "masculine" and "feminine" really mean. They're ancient terms that have little, if anything, to do with how long one's hair is, and although your girlfriend, as well as you yourself, of course, is entitled to an opinion, you guys should really try to calmly discuss how this is going to affect both of you. If hair that long really hurts her, and you truly love her, is it something you really NEED to have? If, on the other hand, you guys uncover that her reasons against super-long hair aren't really concrete, then maybe you can work something out. Ultimately, it's your dream that matters, since you've only got one life to live (unless you believe in reinacarnation, o' course), but still, try to talk things over calmly and find out which path is right to take.
er, that's "mention it to" and "faint and go to the hospital." The second typo left room for rather unsavory interpretations...
Other than her occasional jokes about not letting my hair get longer than hers, my wife has been very supportive. She braids it for me in the mornings before I go to work, and likes to play with it now and then.
My parents haven't seen me with the long hair yet, so I don't know about their reaction. My brother used to have hair past his belt-line, and they didn't have any major issues that I know of, so who knows?
My in-laws recently saw a pic of me with long hair. My mom-in-law made a few mildly negative comments when I spoke to her on the phone, but I think they'll settle for the occasional comment, more in the realm of kidding around than anything serious.
My wife prefers hair tied back, and I prefer it loose, aesthetically speaking, so she wishes I would tie mine back more often, and I wish she would let hers down more often! Her hair is long (waist length) at the back, but short at the front.
My mother doesn't really like long, one length, hair on anyone, male or female (hers is shoulder length, and layered), but she likes it a lot better at least if it is tied back.
My father, OTOH, thinks long hair looks girly and that tied back it looks girlier. His hair is short, but not excessively so. He dislikes crewcuts as much as I do. At least he doesn't have to worry that I will shave my head, as that will never happen!
You can't please everyone, so you have to please yourself (line from a song)!
I have no significant others or whatnot, and my family isnt around me long enough to really comment on my now long hair. If they dont like it that's their problem.
My dad is very supportive - he used to have long hair himself, until it got too thin, and he cut it. He hasn't had very short hair since high school, so he's happy to see mine grow.
My mom is a bit against it, but doesn't really mind. Everyone in a while she tells me I should cut it, but usually doesn't mention anything. And she did teach me a lot about having long hair, so I guess she's neutral.
My sister...hated it. She used to always tell me to cut it, and (jokingly) threatened to sneak in my room and cut it. Her criticism seems to have stopped once it reached my shoulders, so maybe she's better about it now? I still keep on my guard when she's behind me.
The rest of my friends and family have supported me a lot. We have a few ex-hippies in the family, and they certainly don't mind. My cousins all tell em to keep growing it. A lot of my friends are into metal/rock and have long hair as well, and the others have supported me a lot.
I am really against all odds here where I live. Its been about 10 months since I got my last hair cut, and its all around 6 inches.
My parents are completely unsupportive, we have been argueing about it for around 4 months now. My parents always bring up the same old, same old arguements. They tend to be ultra conservative.
My brother is indifferent, he grew his about this long and then gave into the pressure to get it cut.
Most of my friends dont like it much and think I should cut it. But they dont push their thinking like my parents.
A few of my friends are slighly supportive. They think I should pick a style and start going in for maintence trims, like Right now that is.
Overall, I am alone here, no one offers REAL support at all. I am on my own in it.
Hi Xavier Craig, (or is it Xaviar Craig?)
I'm just posting to send you a message of support - I have healthy respect for people like you who don't carve in to the pressure but who stand up for themselves. As you travel on, you'll be a LOT happier for it! If your personal "hair policy" is any indication of your personality - that means that you are a strong person who fully accepts himself, and who manages to blot out all these negative "posthypnotic" messages - great!
I'd strictly avoid "maintenance trims" - the synonym for "maintenance trims" is "setbacks".
I'd just meditate from time to time, mentally throwing out all those garbage lines your environment is feeding you about hair - and feed yourself the right lines (like "My hair's growing as it's meant to be, I'm growing into who I'm meant to be, that's great - Yippee!") - that only takes you a moment every day.
Hope you feel great every single time you look at yourself in a mirror - you have all the right to do so!
One more thing - make sure you spend lots of time with those who encourage you to grow your hair out.
May it grow past your butts - or any other length you want!
Wishing you lots of growth, "hair peace" and happiness,
Hans-Uwe
My mom is very cool about my hair. I don't think anything will faze her at this point; I have long hair and earrings, and am gay. She's the greatest!
Not a one ever gave me any trouble at all.
I have the long hair(still growing) and only one ear-ring(not getting any more!). I don't have a gf at the moment but if i did she would definately need to respect who i am and what makes me most happy, in regards to my appearance and self-image...that being long hair with a rock image.
My family is cool about my hair, very supportive.
"Now my question : what do your partners and family think of (very)long hair? Are they supportive?"
I had a friend (male, i am female) who cut his hair for a girl thinking he would look tidier (his words) for her. Unfortunately this girl liked his hair long and wasnt impressed. He spent the next 5 years growing it to his waist to make her happy (which he did) only to discover he really liked it anyway and nothing on this earth would make him cut it again. (They are still together). His mum hates it and used to make comments about him getting a haircut, even though she would also say how nice her daughters long hair was... weird?
After this time people now accept him for what and who he is and he has the absolute support of his gf.
I think you have to decide what you want yourself, be who you are and dont pretend to be anything you are not. If you love your gf and she loves you, then the word compromise comes into it, and compromise goes both ways. Unless you are yourself no-one will be happy (and that goes for her too).
good luck
