new thread
It's been quite a while since i've started growing my hair(atleast it seems so for me), and it's finally beginning to have a longish look to it. Today, for the first time, it was finally long enough for the front to be tucked behind my ears...so that's what i did before going to school. When i met two so-called friends hang out with while at school, they noticed my hair immediatly and said: " WoW! your hair is so nice, did you get it cut?(they had smiles on their faces)...but i said no, i said i only tucked the hair behind my ears. As soon as i said that i had not cut it, they're smiles disappeared, and i even spoke to one of my friends whome i've known since the first year of high school(being 4 years now) and he told me: "it's fine that your hair is this long, but any longer looks terribly stupid"...but my answer was: "it's my hair and i love it, so i am not going to cut it and im letting it grow almost to my waist. He was quite angered at this and told me to immediately cut my hair or he would not be my friend. This got me into thinking... ever since i started growing my hair i've felt VERY good and it has made doing everything so fun and enjoyable for me, but what have i gotten from these friends of mine? so i thought about it...everytime i wanted something, they never were there, anytime i asked for anything, they did not care. So i thaught about it and i felt that my hair was more of a friend to me than these so-called "friends" that i had for years. Now i am happier without them and with my contineouly growing hair :)
Conclusion: those people who tell you to get rid of your hair or they will not befriend you are really not friends in the first place and truly do not care for you as much as they should. A true friend or family member, etc.. would love and care for his/her friend...meaning, if something like hair makes the friend a happy person, then that other friend should be very pleased and not interfere. I've learned that such things as keeping longer hair may even help one choose a friend wisely...a friend who is not so shallow and cares so much for looks. This goes out to all couples as well.
-Oleg-
Wow! shocking story. I can't believe your 'friend' reaction when you said you were growing it to your waist. I honestly don't know why it would anger him or even concern him at all. It's your hair and you should be free to wear and style it any length you desire, he needs to respect that decision. It is only hair, he needs to lighten up and stop being so ignorant. You should have told him "well not everyone likes being a skin head neo-nazi or a cancer patient!". It might not be totally his fault, he may have grown up in a very strict, conservative household and his parents may have embedded their perceptions, values and notions into his mind. One of those might be a notion that long hair on men = druggo, hippie, gay etc. Before you give this 'friend' the ditch try and reason with him and tell him how much growing hair makes you feel happy inside and this is something you have felt the need to for many years.
I have not have any problems about my hair with regards to peers, parents, coworkers etc. Alot of guys have long hair here and it is just accepted, most people are indifferent about long hair here, which is great. My friends have long hair aswell.
Good for you, an important lesson. Sad but, TRUE!!!
wow it sounds like your friend is being rediculous............perhaps new friends are needed (worked for me)
Wow, amazing story. If you haven't already... ditch those "friends"! They're not friends after all, they're just trendos who want you to follow them and their lame styles.
I was kind of like that in high school, actually. I had a few temporary friends now and then, but to this day, I don't have any friends left over from high school or before that. They were all the same way as the "friends" you described.
It feels great to pull out of that mess and meet some real people (and grow your hair out)!
Aquaintences will come and go......friends will last a lifetime
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart!!!!!
Those guys are not worthy of your friendship.
It's not like we tell people that if they cut their hair we'll stop being their friend. Although I would wish more people would grow their hair :)
I dont have a true friend and sometimes I wonder if I will ever find one. I have had a "friend" I met in high school that said he was my best friend and all, but then girls got in the way and he started treating me like complete strangers. You know I just wonder perhaps I am not meant to get along with anyone else cause it seems people run from me like I have some contagious disease or something. Especially when girls get in the way then even your best friend and stuff will abandon you because for some reaon girls are more important than anything else in the world (yeah right)
That sucks to be blind sided by the attitude of your friends. You didnt have any idea that they disliked your hair before this? Not that that matters but it would have lessened the unpleasant surprise.
Friendship is a hard thing in school, people feel they need to only be seen with certain "cool" people or they lose face. They probably feel you're a risk to them and their status.
Its hard to make choices like that, they obviously liked you or they wouldn't have been happy at the prospect of your being more like them instead of just writing you off. But you did say they never went out of their way for you even with shorter hair so maybe not.
You did what you had to, I am sure you will find new people when your newer life after high school begins in earnest. Best of luck in this.
Yeah, I don't know why someone would not want to be your friend because of the length of your hair. It seems to me that people like this never were your true friends, since there are more inner qualities that define a person. Enjoy your hair and true friends will be there for you.
Now that I've seen your messeage, I feel this might be the case with me. One of my very few friends has stop seeing me. I tried to call him left a message but he didnot return my call and I am still waiting. People should see what you are on the inside not by the way you look or how long your hair is.
"... People should see what you are on the inside not by the way you look or how long your hair is."
I definitely agree with you on that one. Here's something I came up with a few weeks ago...
"Never judge a book by its cover. If you want to know me better, then read the book."
--Rick
You've got the core of it down. A true friend likes you for the person you are inside, and will continue to like you regardless of hairstyles, the clothes you wear, the job you do, the place you live, the car you drive, or any of the other zillion things that can come and go in your life. They don't have to share all your interests, but a true friend will respect them.
Jim
I can understand this story. Growing my hair out has made me easily able to distinguish my real friends from the fake ones. I was shocked and a little bit depressed to see some friends I'd known my whole life start showing disrespect towards me and just throwing off the sarcastic "get a haircut" comment. But I do have a good group of loyal friends who have supported me with nearly all of my decisions, so I plan to continue hanging with them
