new thread
I dont know if I am just being paranoid but I notice alot of people seems to have been ignoring me or something. I felt as though the whole board seems to hate me, for whatever reason. It really irritates me that people have issues with me yet they wont tell me a thing, only to say stuff behind my back about it. So if anyone here have issues with me, I dont care if its my race, my hair color, my nationality, or my sexual orientation, just tell me. It is really upsetting to be hated without an explanation.
I don't think you're stupid or anything. You might consider wording your posts better though. That would help you a lot I think.
Tai Fu, I read everything here so unless you are speaking of things happening off the board I will say my perception is that the people here have been more than patient with you. The teacher in me sees you as a kid that needs help interacting with others and quick to judge when you don't get the attention you feel you need. Assuming you are hated here just adds to the difficulty of making friendships, you push people away with this kind of post and others focused on your needs.
Do your parents know you are having this much difficulty with reading the intent of others? They might be able to assist you in finding appropriate help. This board can answer your hair questions and cheer on your growth. I think you are wanting more than this site can provide for you.
Elizabeth
Elizabeth
I would say that they have nothing to add but ill keep my eye out on your posts in future and if i can add to your posts i will as its cool to have a female posting here to !
Axel
Thanks Axel, I've been here for years now but I've just been particularly chatty tonight. There are several irregular regular women here such as Dawn Ashley and Sherri and we are glad to be of help and also just plain ogle here sometimes.
And to Tai Fu again since this post reminded me of something I meant to mention earlier, some of the banter you read going on here is between posters that have known each other for years. A newer person who doesn't post often is not going to be able to have the same level of intimacy. The 'popular' people here have earned that through contributions to this site and a positive personality.
When a name you don't know gets lots of responses chances are they used to post regularly here and have just popped back in for a visit. Those that remember them are going to pile on the responses to an old friend but I can see how that might leave you wondering why it is never your turn for that level of attention. With a record of helpful, positive posts I can see you getting attention too, Tai Fu. It does take work on your end though and you have to be well enough to be up to it. For you it might take a break from the board to gain perspective and practice interacting in person to make friends around you before you can be successful here. It *can* be done and I wish you well.
Elizabeth
Your Welcome Elizabeth Id love it if more females posted here actually such as you yourself, Dawn Ashley and Sherri as its so cool to find that women still find guys with long hair attractive its a big ego boost for people like me ! maybe thats why I mainly say guys & girls in the threads i make to encourage more females to post here I for one dont want none of you ladies to stop posting here as I do like a female opinion as that counts double for me !
Take Care
Axel
Dear Tai Fu,
Eliabeth began to get at the issue, but I want to take it further. I agree with the post of the first two guys, but they did not package it in a way that it could be easily heard by you. Elizabeth speaks of issues of communication, and whether you need more support from your parents. Perhaps she is right, and what I say will not be relevant if that is the issue entire.
However, I think it is an issue of culture. Though you write English relatively well, I do not believe it is your first languge and I think you are missing some content. In addition, no one is going to respond to your posts unless you engage the other person, and I think this may be difficult for you.
The solution for you is primarily to listen carefully to what others are saying. When you make a comment, then if it is interesting or furthers communication others will respond to it. But you cannot demand a response.
Can you let go and go with the flow?
How about telling us aboutyourself without demanding a response.
James
I think he grew up and lived in Texas until recently if I recall correctly (see, people do read your posts, Tai Fu) so the comprehension should be there if he is ready to hear it. Actually Tai Fu, now that I write this I'm wondering if the culture shock of living in Taiwan instead of your American home is contributing to your anger.
This is good James, I forgot some of the most basic skills in teaching, don't just say what not to do, give at least two specific positive things to do instead.
Elizabeth
It's posts like this that are pissing people off. First of all, it's OK to post an off topic post every once in a while; I do it, you do it, everybody does it. However, you can't expect every single post to have a ton of responses. I don't necessarily want to speak for everyone by saying people are getting a little tired of your posts, but they (your posts) tend to be whiny and needy, and that gets on the nerves of a lot of people. I don't understand why you assume everybody hates you. If they don't respond to your post, they don't respond to your post, but you don't need to write posts like this, otherwise they WILL start to dislike you!! I try to be nice to everyone, but you asked a question, and I am answering it honestly. If you think that people are out to get you, they don't want to talk to you, or they don't like you, maybe you should think about retiring your membership at this board. I am not saying you should do so, I am just saying it is something you may want to think about if you cannot just sit back and enjoy giving advice and receiving the advice of others. Just try to relax! I promise you that the world is not out to get you. This board is full of nice people; try and give them the benefit of the doubt and enjoy the knowledge and wisdom they have to offer!
Well, firstly, no one hates you. That is just in your head. You carry this negative attitude on your shoulders thinking that you are victimised and that everyone here is unfriendly and dislikes you. Until you can realise this you aren't going to change.
Your contributions to the board are near null, zero. Most of what you post is just o/t messages and the occasional homosexual flirt(which is not allowed).
If you want to earn the respect of others you have to actively contribute and participate and help others.
This is not the Tai Fu's hair hyperboard. It's for everyone to come here.
Also , you need to change your attitude. You always seem depressed and gloomy, which isn't good for yourself.
Well said man
It also might be the fact that they have nothing to add in addition to your post aswell as what weston & 80s Metal posted, if i dont have nothing to post or to add I dont repply
Axel
While I agree with the others that you do tend to post a bit too much OT stuff at times, you do have a very valuable place on the board, as you bring a completely different, non-Western viewpoint to long hair and its associated issues.
For example, the few times that you have mentioned the views of Taiwan and China etc on hair, and what it's like there etc. I have been genuinely intrested (even if it does usually take the form of a negative post).
Speaking of negativity, I did wrongly accuse you, of a comment I had misinterpreted a few weeks back. For that I am sorry.
Yet I still want you to be a bit more positive. This place is a caring community. Give to it and it will give to you. Give to it negativity and it will come back with positivity, advice and help.
Give to it constant negativity however, and it will give you back nothing.
As for the whole 'sexual orientation' thing....while I did find your comments and posts a year or so back, quite discomforting, I do realise that you were probably coming to a realisation about yourself at the time, so in my book, that should all be 'water under the bridge'.
Give us a smile man! (and keep growing the hair :-)
N/T
Hey Tai Fu,
I understand what you are trying to convey. Honestly you need to USE this board and not let the board USE you. Relax a little, this board is a resource. Please do not get offended by what anyone says on this board becuase honestly you dont know them and they do not know you. Some of the individuals on this board seem to have a little too much time on their hands. Also, some of the information presented from other board members may not be creditable as you do not know where they were educated, what credentials they have, etc.
Like I said before just relax and try to work on a positive outlook on things. This board is for Men's Longhair issues no more and no less. Lastly, dont pay any attention to that 80's guy, immature and judgmental rock star wannabe's tend to go nowhere in life...
so tread carefully or you may find that your postings privleges will be barred in the future.
You made a personal attack on me for no reason whatsoever.
I agree.
If you have a constructive comment to make on the postings of anyone on the board, then please feel free to make it. However slurs and name-calling will not be tolerated on this board. As 80's said "tread carefully".
In any case I'm sure if we took a communal vote, the vast majority of people would agree with me in saying that 80's/Jean is a caring, considerate, helpful, nice and intelligent person.
This however is besides the point. Simply put, in the future if you have a problem with someone or what they are posting, don't make it personal; make it evident based on rational discourse and evidence.
where the hell did that come from??? He's a cool guy and he's just saying what needs to be said
A most sarcastic pitiful statement indeed. I am sorry you have no tact whatsoever, lack the ability to be cival and don't have brains enough to know it...............and yet, are a self-styled "know it all!"
If you had 1/10th of what "that 80's guy" has, you would probably have a 4.0 average of intelligence.
Your statement towards 80s
Lastly, dont pay any attention to that 80's guy, immature and judgmental rock star wannabe's tend to go nowhere in life...
zzZZZzzZZZ
Well firstly i dont agree with your reference that 80s is Immature in no way at all and how would you know he will never get nowhere if life you dont know nothing about the guy has his impact on this board as been tremedous in help all he knows to the best of his ability i know this fact has he as help me in the past and I appreciated it his help to so please think about your imput towards the board before posting Please
Axel
Tai Fu,
I have discussed these things with you in MSN messenger on numerous occasions. I've suggested that you go and see a counsellor about what is obviously some form of depression or severe lack of self-esteem. You have thrown every excuse at me as to why this would not be possible.
I'm here to tell you that despite what you may think, the world is not against you. There's no other way to say this: you are paranoid.
The more you make postings like this, the less respect any of us here will have for you. You really must stop this silly behaviour or, one day, no-one will respond to your posts, or perhaps you will be barred entirely from posting.
Please, on behalf of everyone here, offer some constructive, on-topic postings, and people will talk to you. And above all, lighten up. Life is what you make it. If you don't like your life, change it. Youre the only one who can.
Best wishes
Luke
I totally agree with everything that you've said.
Didn't you post a message with the same Question a couple of months back?
Tai fu, it's these kind of posts that rile people up and put you in a bad light.
As many people said earlier you have a tiny ON TOPIC contribution to the board. All of us make Off Topic posts now and again but i think that you take far too many liberties with your off topic posting (in the sheer quantity of them!)
I think you should start posting more ON TOPIC posts - i mean.. when was the last progress picture you posted??
None of us hate you, but you seem to have a few problems that need ironing out.
hi taifu,
i think no one here hates you - why do you think that ?
we are not ignoring you and some threads/posts of you have a lot of responses (e.g. see the tye-shirt thing) but u can't await, that every of your posts are being responded by others ...
maybe sometimes people don't have any ideas or simply aren't in the mood to respond ...
and even if you dont get responses - this is only internet - you do not know any of the persons here personally ...
even IF they would ignore you it should not make your world break down !!
then u should stop posting such threads - as far as i can remember you already posted such thread a few months ago and - excuse me if i am a little harsh - but if you say that things in real life the most people are laughing about it ...
i can understand if people are sometimes depressed (i'm also sometimes) 'cos of the strangest things and i know that it's not so easy to simply "change the attitude" from one minute to the other (like some ppl here imagine) - but you made a good beginning e.g. with the tye shirt thing ...
after reading your threads about it, i had the feeling, that it makes u happier ... u created something - something u like !!
and it looked good (in my opinion) ...
i can't put my thoughts so perfect in written form than others here and there is a lot i wanna say but can't write now but if you feel u wanna talk about anything don't hesitate to write me ... maybe i understand you more that you think ...
and - to be not totally offtopic - i think your hair is coming along great and it fits u very well ...
and please, please: do not let other persons' opinions or comments or whatever let decide your way of life !
why not making a start and let us see your mane ?
there is a speech ... "pics tell more than thousands of words" ... :)
greetings and hoping to hear more positive in the future from u,
AustrianLongHair
Im sorry, the reason I stopped posting any tie dye pictures because 80's didnt seem to like them. He thinks its off topic or something, so I stopped. If you guys want to see more I will take more pictures of them. I admit I am having some serious depression and stuff and I tried professional help. I really cant afford to pay the cost of professional counselors and anyone that wont just give you prozac just to shut you up. Last time I took any sort of antidepressant including prozac all it did is make me really sleepy, and didnt help anything, except make me less able to work. I didnt think to post progress pics cause my hair hasnt grown much at all, and I didnt think it would make a difference if I posted a progress....
You don't have to post progress pictures to contribute to the board. You can reply to others in their threads.
As I said before you have a very unique perspective here.
I wish you all the best with your depression. Always have hope. You will pull through this.
None of us hate you here and we all wish you well.
('Dean smiles at Tai Fau from Sydney')
Tai Fu,
As LukeB has done I have also tried to help you out off of this board. I have in fact answered your question several times in chats about why people keep their distance, I realize I can only honestly claim to know what makes me uncomfortable, however. I will answer now again in full light and take my lumps from others who might not wish such honesty or who may disagree with me. This is not post related but chat room related but I think it is relevant to the question he did ask.
You make very strange jokes, often either very grossly morbid or depressing blackest humor, or just things that sounds like very lame (to me) gay sex references that seem to come out of nowhere to people who are obviously not interested in talking about sex of any kind and just want to unwind in the MLHH chat area.
You do things an adult male does not ever do, you make imitation cat sounds in the chat area. This really freaks me out as extremely unsettling and I have repeatedly told you how crazy it makes you appear.
You repeatedly state the same things on the chat room you ask in this post, why are you ignored. My reason number one is you creep me out.
Reason two is you depress me.
Third reason, so often I dont want to go to the chat room because I know if I do I will have to deal with you and every time you ask these same questions it is as if you have never heard me answer before.
I know you have said many times you have depression, but like Luke said you have a handy excuse for not doing any of the things that might really help. Be it exercise or better diet (both not involving medicine or more money really).
Now I am not being insensitive to what it means to have depression as I have been battling a severe case on and off for very very many years, so I know what it means to have it. I also am not taking any medication for it because I too have sever problems with the medicines available. But I do know that even at my worst I did know the truth of depression is that it is something not working right inside you, not any problem caused be others outside yourself. It is certainly not your fault you have it but is certainly not others' fault either. You are in essence laying the blame at our feet that you are unhappy and that we are somehow responsible for making you less happy because we hate you.
When I first came to this board I was awestruck at how nice and really cool everybody was here. When you are used to some forums that are nothing but flame wars (even by people who are supposed to have similar interests!), and just plain crudity, this site was a true oasis in the desrt. There are few sites with the quality of people we have here, a more generous and even tempered crew you will not easily find. So I am extremely ticked off at you Tai Fu, but not hating you, for assaulting he people whos traits are exactly the opposite of what you describe in us. You have wronged us all, in my opionion anyway.
I wouuld welcome a real change in you Tai Fu as I always say this place has the coolest people around, and I hate having to think of your name every time I say that as the one excdeption.
Please change or stop putting the blame on us at least.
OK I am done now, I don't mean to put anybody else out and I hope I have not but if I don't feel comfortable saying this then I am in the wrong place after all
Im sorry... I must be missing something... 80's think I have contributed nothing to the board, so is it board policy that I am only allowed to talk about hair and nothing else? My hair does not grow fast enough to neccissitate an update once a week. I wish it were so but that is not how the world works. So you are very ticked off at me because I am obsessed and repeating things? Okay I make cat jokes on the chat room, why does it bother you so much? I was only making a feeble attempt at humor. A lot of other people on this board is repeating things, like one guy posting alot of Danni Cecati pictures, and other guy being obsessed with opeth. I have nothing against those people but if you want to accuse me of repeating then they do that too. So I have given people advise on how to deal with hair issues, but according to you guys, I have contributed nothing to this board, you know how to deal with unreasonable employers who wont tolerate long hair, things like that. I really did my best to change to your standard, but I guess I will always fall short no matter what. So you know what? I guess I just have to cut my losses, I am being as reasonable as I possibly can, but I guess that just shows people wont be reasonable no matter what, people always want to control others. I thought you guys were cool with me, but then I made a big mistake to assume that you guys liked me. Im sorry I wasted your time. Im sorry I picked the wrong people to hang out with. I was under the impression that hair is what we have in common, the fact that something compels us to not cut our hair desipte overwhelming odds that are against us in the society. I had given advise in my best effort espeically with those who are losing jobs because he chose to stand up for his right to keep his hair. If you want proof I will search all my posts in the archive that I did say something. I have been so wrong to assume that we can all get along and put aside our cultural, sexual, or whatever difference.
I hereby resign from this board....
I did not answer your first recent public post with the above answer and held my tongue so to speak,because I could not say anything to you that I had not already said in private. But the second time you asked the same question again, and in a way that makes it look like its our fault, I could not tolerate that twice in a row.
You asked a question, what did you really want to hear as an answer that you didn't get the first time?
I still stand behind every word I said before, I would welcome a change in you Tai Fu, I would be pleased to welcome you here as a man, not as you seem to be now though. Is not change better than cutting off all contact? he choice is yours however.
you asked..you got what people think.....nobody saiid they disliked you just suggested reasons why people dont always pay attention to your posts..........like chris said what did you expect to get out of that question?? perhaps you where hopeing everyone would shower you with attention and be sickeningly nice to you??
if you leave you will soon be forgottten.
however im sure everyone would welcome you continueing here.
I am reminded of the saying, "the harder the truth the truer the friend that tells you."
Chris, you are a very good man.
Hugs,
Elizabeth
Dude, I've only been here for a month or so, but it seem like you're an attention ummm... seeker. Like every post of yours that I've read is about how people like or don't like you.
As someone who is growing his hair long this is very unhealthy, as people will be judging you left and right until either long hair gets accepted or you cut it again. The best thing for you to do is to not take it seriously. If people don't like you, whatever. It's not the end of the world and you can find others who do. Just don't get clingy. Nobody likes someone who TRIES to be liked.
