new thread
I'd like to thank all of you for words of wisdom and the sharing your experiences with me, I just pray my life turns out to be as happy as all of yours. The advice you gave me really effected me and believe it or not motivated me. In just 24 hours of being depressed I signed up for piano lessons at my local music store and decided I am going to start taking beginners judo lessons this summer. I just wish I got more involved with activities to keep me busy in life earlier, then maybe I wouldnt have gotten to the point of sadness I did. As for the gym, ive tried it before to lose weight and I was more or less laughed out of their by the perfect guys at school. I live in a very small town and am going far, far away for college and hopefully never looking back. Also my parents do know how unhappy I was, I think at my graduation they felt more happy I was out of that school then I did. Without my parents support I can't imagine the lonleyness and sorrow I would have felt in highschool. They always listened with open ears and for that I thank them. As for my hair growth progress, ive currently been growing my dirty blonde straight locks for 13 months. My longhair is also very looked down upon at my school (maybe I make more problems for myself). Hopefully some of my activities this summer, along with a job will help me get down to a healthy weight (im 261 lbs and 5'6") but I can tell truthfully while im righting this currently i'm eating a few celery sticks with a bottle of water instead of a bag of doritos with a can of mountain dew. Thanks again.
Good for you dude!
Happy to hear you aren't going to wallow in self pity, and that you're doing something about your depression.
It's good to hear that you're feeling a little better. Sometimes, in order to achieve big things, you need to start taking a few small steps that will help you get there. That you've done a few things like enrol for piano lessons, judo and perhaps one day even another go at the gym, is something worth celebrating and these things will help with your self-seteem. Good for you!
Just remember, you are no less important than any other person in the world. You deserve to be happy, and you can be. Take care of yourself.
LukeB
Awesome! Piano makes you classy and Judo is what Brazillian Jiu Jitsu was derived from, so it's an awesome and effective martial art. And it's one hell of a work out!
As for the gym:
If you can, start lifting weights. Go to www.bodybuilding.com or www.bullshido.com (I am War Phalange on that message board) and ask around. Especially with the 2nd link I posted, that's a martial art board, so people will give you advice that doesn't interfere with your Judo or vice versa.
The thing with weight lifting vs cardio is that with cardio you only burn calories when you're doing it. When you stop, your body pretty much goes back to normal. With lifting weights, your body start to burn calories AFTER you're done. It tries to strengthen the muscles you used, so it uses a lot of calories, even when you are asleep!
It will be a long road, but you CAN get there and you are on the right path. Just take it a day at a time. If you ever feel depressed again, just think about what you've learned and how you've changed already. That always keeps me going.
Wow...I'm glad you're taking such a postive outlook.
Here's what I can offer...I went to my 20th HS reunion a couple of years ago and the most interesting people were the ones that were somewhat 'shunned' by everyone else. They were the happiest and had done the most facinating things with their lives. The 'pretty' people hadn't done a damned thing.
A few of us decided to have an after party in one of the hotel suites. The former head cheerleader looked at me and said 'now keep this quiet...we only want the good people there'. I looked straight at her and said 'who are the good people?'
She was shocked! Two people standing nearby overheard and couldn't stop laughing.
In 20 years, none of it will matter. You're free and there's a whole world out there...Go and have a great life.
I would've paid to see that!
LOL!
Hey, piano lessons & beginning judo lessons sound GREAT! I'm so glad our replies to your post below proved helpful. I read most, if not all of the others, --- and I felt that everyone's sincerity & genuine caring was the most important part of the replies. What you choose to do specifically to get yourself on the road to a happier & healthier outlook in life, is not so important as doing SOMEthing about making those changes for yourself.
I wouldn't be surprised if by even the end of summer you will already be viewing your high school years as a fading bad dream... and in the meantime, I hope you have fun with keeping on growing that hair!
- Ken in San Francisco
As for the gym: Don't worry about other people. Weight training and cardio are both important to great health. We don't start going to the gym because we look good enough to be seen there, we go because we eventually want to look and feel good and in time it will happen. A friend of mine weighed 425 lbs and his whole family was overweight. All his life he was told that it runs in the family and their was nothing he could do about it. He went against the odds at age 17 and decided to start weights and cardio. It took about 3 years and now at 20 he looks totally different. All these things you are doing will bring positive effects in your life. Good luck and I am glad you are feeling better.
I started going to the gym a few weeks ago. I've never been that type because I was worried about being an unfit slob in amongst all the muscled, toned people. Not anymore. Doesn't bother me at all. One thing that really helps is if you have a radio or little MP3 player or something like that while you're doing weights or on the cardio equipment. It helps you to focus on what your doing there and you can go into your own little world, disconnecting from everyone else.
LukeB
The up's and down's of life and there are always better times ahead.
John.B
Im glad to hear you've taken the initiative to start new activities in life. With the martial arts, you will learn respect, honor and feel a surge of self-confidence. I am very happy to hear that youve decided to take up piano lessons too! I am a musician (and music major) and let me tell you from experience, music is one of many fullfilling activities for your soul and conscience. Use your practice time every day and developing musicianship as a way to purge your frustration and vent your anger when youre feeling depressed or sorry for yourself. Your mind is taken to a different level of consciousness when you let go and let the music do its magic and that is, to heal and provide a gift for all who will listen to you. Im happy for ya' brotha! Hang in there and good luck to you!
Best of luck to you on your journey, and while depression is something you've experienced and may experience again, hopefully it's given you some insight into this thing we call life. As painful as the darkness is, it's wonderful for opening the mind to the other side of it all. A balance of light and dark, happiness and sorrow, and essentially just balance, will help you throughout life. Basically, just accept depression for what it is, and know that it's nothing to be ashamed of, unless you take it too far. You don't sound like you have.
As for the weight loss, you sound like you have a good plan going, but I'd like to add some tips that helped me lose 20 pounds (I was 165, and I went down to 145, and at one point, 140, in a few months). The martial arts are excellent, and they'll improve your mind as well as your health, but the mind is the most important. But exercise isn't enough. Cut down on obvious sugars, for one. Whole grain/whole weat products are the way to go; avoid all white flour products. Try to eat vegetable salads with your meals, or as your meals, and enhance them with olive oil and grilled chicken slabs or fish or the like; keep away from fatty salad dressings and bacon and so forth. Try to skip dessert wherever possible, and drink water as your main beverage. Juice is fairly loaded with sugar; try unsweetened juices as a healthier alternative. Soft drinks are totally out of the equation. Milk is also fairly fatty, so don't use too much of it. Herbal tea, sweetened with something like honey, has been proven useful for weight loss, and on the topic of honey, it's a bit better to use than normal sugar. Brown/cane sugar is healthier than white sugar, and while sugar substitutes can be wonderful for weight loss, I wouldn't recommend them in the long term, since sugar in moderation is, contrary to popular belief, beneficial, and some substitutes like Nutrasweet can cause lingering headaches. I believe it's dude to a chemical called phenylalin or something.
Also, you might want to try eating less, obvious as it may see. I no longer eat breakfast, for example, and only a few weeks after I started leaving it out, my body got used to it. I've only recently restarted eating snacks, a bad habit I relearned in college. Remember that the average daily calorie intake is in the 2000 - 2500 range, and by eating less than your normal intake, you'll lose weight. So naturally, eating less is one of the most effective ways to go. Don't emaciate yourself, of course, unless you're planning to try out for a horror movie. :P
Also try to limit your use of condiments, gravy, and salt. The amount of sodium fast-food snacks give you is far too much to add salt to anything you eat later that day.
I think I've covered it all and given you enough to read, so I'll just say good luck again. :P
Great advice Fallen Angles
Let me add this. If one must snack eat some fruit like an apple or 1/2 cup of grapes or a bananna.
its a lot healther than a bag of chips and a can soda.
I am confined to a wheelchair so getting exersise out of the question for me but I have been able to lose about 15 pounds in the last 5 months. on on cutting back on the intake
Peace
Bruce
Excellent advice, but cutting out meals won't do it. What happens is the body thinks its starving and then stores the fat. Then eventually the person becomes bored or feels run down and begins to east more, only to gain even more than what was lost. That is why dieting never works. The right foods is important and you actually need to eat more often (5-6 meals a day), but smaller portions. A meal can be as small as a banana and lowfat yogurt or a larger meal: fish, rice and spinach, but needs to be low in fat and bad carbs (good carb of course being fruit and veg). Breakfast is the most immportant meal and should be the bigest, then cutting down as the day progresses. If there was a magic pill, everyone would be taking it.
Oh, I know about that, but I'm just speaking from personal experience. I lost marvelous weight cutting down on breakfast and snacks the first few months, but then the lack of weight loss afterwards would prove what you're saying, wouldn't it? :P lol, well I guess I should've added what you said. I guess the eat-less routine is just a short term relief.
The thing is, I eat a little bit more now than I did in my dieting days, and my weight has remained the same for months, give or take a decimal or two. I suppose I'm just secure in my current meal plan. My health teacher disagrees with what I do (he restates everything you said), but I figure that since I feel fine so far, I'll keep it going. Hope that wasn't too confusing.
To longhairdesire, I suggest you try shaggy's idea. Maybe you could cut back a bit for the first few weeks, though, and then gradually start back on smaller and smaller (but sufficient) meals.
Answer: What makes you think that members here are any happier than you? I'm telling you, if you were invisible and could go into the homes of this world, you might be very surprised by what you would discover: most people are NOT happy--no matter how they may present themselves to the world.
In just 24 hours of being depressed I signed up for piano lessons at my local
music store and decided I am going to start taking beginners judo lessons this summer."
ANSWER: That's great news, but I think the credit should go to you! Yes, you may have been encouraged by some of the things you read here but YOU
made the decision to DO something with those things you read.
out of their by the perfect guys at school."
ANSWER: You are overweight so it's no surprise to hear that you were laughed at. people are cruel; others just join in and repeat what
the others are saying.
They always listened with open ears and for that I thank them."
ANSWER:
Parents who listen are a blessing indeed. Thank God you had family to give you support.
to a healthy weight (I'm 261 lbs and 5'6") but I can tell truthfully while I'm righting
this currently: I'm eating a few celery sticks with a bottle
of water instead of a bag of doritos with a can of mountain dew."
ANSWER: Man o man that takes lots of willpower AND suffering! But believe me
as you lose weight (never say 'if'), both you and your world will begin to change
for the better. PLUS you will be lots healthier. You certainly do not want to develop diabetes which may very well happen if you don't take off the extra pounds.
Right now, the 'real' you is trapped inside a body you are not quite happy with.
As you drop pounds your face and body will change for the better.
And PLEASE do NOT think of losing weight in terms of months. No! Think of it this way instead: EACH and EVERY WEEK your looks will show some change. Enjoy that change--even if it comes slowly.
Good Luck
Just a thought. Bill Gates was made fun of in school! He's the first to admit it! Good Luck!
He also claimed no one would ever need more than 640K of RAM. We all know what happened to THAT promise...
heheh
You're having a lot of fun these days.
Aren't you sir? ;-)
Good for you brother! I think that getting into music will change your life immensely. I have been a musician for over 30 years and it has saved me from many bouts of depression and other problems. It can also be a huge ice breaker and will put you in touch with some very cool people, who, in m experience wont care at all about your hair other than being supportive. You are making some great life choices. Keep it up! I think this is what this board is and should be about, helping people with problems. Always remember there are spportive folks here. Best of luck my friend! Eat A Peach For Peace! Very healthy fruit! RedTail Wolf
That's fantastic! I'm glad to hear you're getting to where you want to be. It's a long journey, and don't expect it to be easy, but you've got to start somewhere.
I also think it's marvelous that you are going to be taking piano lessons. As a musician, I know what immense satisfaction and inner peace you can derive from being able to create music. I play piano and cello, and without those, my life would be so much emptier. (I started lessons when I was 5.) My advice: stick with it. Music is difficult (even more so if you start as an adult), but so rewarding, and worth every bead of sweat.
And keep on posting here. I'd love to see your hair; can you post a picture?
Anyway, take good care of yourself, OK?
peace,
dino
Hey friend I hope you enjoy those piano lessons. Music is truly a gift to the earth and if you can learn to create it you won't regret it. I've been playing guitar for 6 years, which I took up because I was tired of depression. Creating your own art is really great therapy. Murder those keys!
