new thread
hey! i found this board by chance browsing the internet looking for advice on my new long hair.
i have never had long hair before (even though i have always wanted it), i have very very thick and curly hair which often dries out into a fro (think blonde sideshow bob lol), so ive always kept it short.
i just got home from a 1 year holiday travelling round the world, i never cut my hair the whole trip and didnt really notice its progression since i was always backpacking. this wasnt intentional, it just happened.
anyway to the point: my hair is now quite long, below the shoulders when wet and when dry it curls up a bit above the shoulders.
my problem is i have never had long hair, i have no idea how to take care of it properly, i was hoping u experienced guys could give me a few pointers in the right direction...
im having difficulties uploading a photo so ill try describe my hair. its very curly and very blonde at the ends and darker (sandy blonde/light brown) and less dry at the roots. i spent a year surfing and outdoors in the sun so i guess this is what affected the colour. the ends are always really dry which makes them look more blonde and the roots always oily, making them darker. i dont really like this contrast, it looks like i bleached my hair or something. washing my hair evens out the contrast but causes more dryness and vice versa with not washing.
my other big problem is knots... quite a few times it has knotted so badly that dreadlocks have formed lol. like ill wake up in the morning with dreads. it looks kool but obviously this is bad for the hair.
this never bothered me at the time because i was travelling and always assumed id cut my hair when i eventually got home. but now im home i love my new hair and want to keep growing it long. i know this might sound stupid, but my long hair is symbolic of the great times i had around the world and a constant reminder of my trip, i cant bring myself to cut it off.
ok ill stop here coz i just realised how long this post is. any advice on conquering dryness and knots would be much appreciated.
ive been browsing through alot of the posts and photos and all you guys have awesome hair. dont ever let anyone put you down or make you question yourself. its your hair and its beautiful and never forget the reason your doing this (whatever that may be). goodluck with all your progressions.
Cheers
Jack
Hi Jack,
First of all, you can get plenty of excellent advise by clicking on the Links section, which is at the top of the page in blue type.
Secondly, you probably need to seriously decide whether or not you really want dreads. Now is the time to make that decision, since it sounds like you're already "accidentally" watching them begin on their own anyway. My 21 year old nepherw has 'em, and he started his around the length you describe you are presently at. But I myself have never had dreads, because I know I'd miss being able to run a comb or brush through my hair. --- so I can't advise you on how to best go about that.
If you DON'T really want dreads, here's what I had to learn about long hair care, when I was first growing it out...
1) The longer it gets, the more tangles you get!
2) The longer it gets, the more you'll have to comb or brush it out from time to time, --- certainly AT LEAST once a day!
3) Dont' brush your hair when it's wet, because hair is in a weaker state then, and will be more likely to rip and snap & do other damage. Use a wide-toothed comb or "finger-comb" when wet; only brush your hair when it's completely dry.
4) Shanpoo less frequently than when you had short hair. Everybody's different, and a sparse few longhairs do actually shampoo every day; but the vast majority aren't that harsh with the stuff, and aim for shampooing a couple of times per week only, --- or at the most, every OTHER day.
5) Use PLENTY of conditioner!!! And if you find a nice brand of leave-in conditioner, use that, too. I also use a little beneficial oil massaged into the ends, to help prevent them from splitting. These oils can be: Jojoba, Kukui nut oil, Almond oil, or evn Olive oil. Just a small maount is enough, --- and I put it only on the lower half of my hair (my scalp gets oily enough on its own, thank you!).
6) Once your hair get closer & closer to the "super-long" stage, you may want to consider not only tieing it back in a tail; but also maybe even multiple hair ties down its length (see Absalom, as he regularly does this). Also, I like to braid mine, or even wear it in a bun. --- it saves me a lot of time at the end of the day, not having to untangle!
7) Keep checking in here by at least becoming a regular reader, and you'll learn even more! Everybody has a slightly different approach to how they take care of their long hair, so you can learn a lot from others here, and eventually find what works best for you...
Cheers!
- Ken in San Francisco
I forgot to also mention that when you comb your hair out, start low (at the ends), first. Once you get those tangles out, then gradually move on up closer to the scalp. The nape of the neck is where I usually get the most tangles & matting. If my hair is loose on a really windy day, for instance, it may take me quite awhile to have to patiently get the tangles out without ripping & breaking a lot of hair. Also, when I dry-brush my hair, I find it best to turn my head upside-down (as if brushing it over my face) in order to accomplish long, smooth, continuous brush strokes, --- which helps to distribute the natural hair oils away from the scalp, and down towards the ends (where they're more needed).
In addition, I'm including a pic I took of me in the mirror, showing you my bun (AKA "bee butt bun"). Although I'm far from being the most "macho" dude in the world, this pic at least proves that a bun on a guy doesn't have to look quite as weird or "fem" as it sounds... Enjoy!
- Ken
Thats a good picture Urban, just thought Id compliment
Hey,
I'll do what you recommend but ill start by using just my fingers for the time being. Brushes and combs litterally get stuck in my hair at the moment.
Although i admit my hair is in really bad shape, you cant tell unless you run your finger through it. and people are always complimenting it (apart from my close mates and the occasional drunk guy out in the city who make girl/gay jokes lol). i think it looks great and im the harshest critic so i want to perservere and get it healthy.
Your bun looks great by the way ken, it really suits your face. I think a pony tail would also definately suit you. I look forward to having enough length to try those styles properly.
At the moment i can tie a pony tail, but higher up on my head, which i admit looks very femine on me. Having blonde sun bleached hair doesnt help with this situation either lol. I went out in the city once with a pony tail like this and it was like a people magnet, heaps of random people were making comments. The common theme was it looks really great but makes me look like a girl lol. Maybe this will improve as my hair grows.
Thanks again for the advice.
Cheers
Jack
Hey Ken,
Thanks alot for pointing me in the right direction. Just to clarify, I dont want dreads. Maybe some day, but for the time being i want to enjoy my new long hair.
After reading your advice i realise i have made alot of mistakes. I havent been conditioning enough (only after shampooing)and i never brush my hair (i find this makes it too frizzy and the curls get out of control).
Is it ok to just use my fingers once a day to remove any knots?
Also, I will check out some jojoba oil next time i go shopping. Regarding the oil, when you apply it to the ends do you leave it on? or wash it out right away? I called my sister for advice (she has super long curly blonde hair, however unlike mine hers is in amazing condition). She gave me a spray on conditioner thing that you leave on throughout the day so ill let you guys know how that goes.
One last question, should i do anything different when sleeping? currently i just go to sleep with it loose, some days i wake up and its great, other days it looks like ive come from a cave, curls all over the place.
I think im gonna avoid shampooing for now until i can get hair back in shape. I surf and swim in the ocean alot, so ill just rinse out with cool fresh water and apply some conditioner.
Once again thanks for the advice.
Cheers
Jack
As I said before: everybody's different! For me, personally, I couldn't imagine just finger-combing once a day, --- I like using a real comb, too!!
Yes.
That defeats the purpose of the oil on your hair ends!!
Sleep however you like: I certainly do!!!
Hi,
It has only been a short time, but i have put into action your recommendation as well as the other recommendations from the links and the results have been amazing. my hair has already improved 100% and is looking great. all i did was washed with alot of condition instead of shampoo/conditioner and added a bit of oil to the ends. when i woke up this morning there were barely any knots and throughout the day i added spray in conditioner.
i look forward to having healthy hair and im going to let it keep growing. lucky i found this site.
cheers
jack
Jack,
Strange as it may seem, in this land of the free and home of the brave, where we prize individual freedom, it seems that there is strong pressure to conform to the herd.
In fact, most poeple admire the guy who expresses himself.
However, many who admire, nevertheless feel a need to comment, and the only comment available to them is one which supports conformity.
While growing long hair means different things to different men, I think there is an emerging consensus that having long hair is an affirmation of freedom for oneself as well as freedom for others. It does not mean becoming feminine, but usually involves a respect for the rights of women. It most often reflects a desire for peace, and a tendency to negotiate and mediate rather than fight, though fighing is not shunned when repelling agression. But the important issue at hand is not to be intimidated by the accusation that your hair is feminine. A man with long hair is not feminine, however he may wear his hair. Thouigh he respects and affirms women, heis simply a man with long hair, and no way he styles it is feminine, except posibly in some charactarature of a behive or a formal updo-- and there is nothing wrong in that if a man wants to play with his hair. Buns, braids, pony tails, flowing locks, are all masculine. As long hair becomes a majority style for men, I hope we do not use some of these associations of freedom, respect for difference, gentleness and kindness.
James
