new thread
Ive noticed theres been some discussions along the way regarding acceptance of longhairs and I wonder if the degree of "acceptance" has anything to do with generations. Growing up, I was raised primarily not by my mom, but my GRANDPARENTS. Let me tell you, it was a very interesting 18 years. First of all, I knew since I was just a little kid I was destined to be a longhair. Theres been some talk about how identities are formed in early childhood and dont much change after that and having long hair is one of them. I was archiving some 8mm home videos recently and stumbled across some footage of me in the 1st grade playing with my cousin out in the backyard. My hair was LONG, like almost shoulder length, and it looked really good too. Just natural, fallen down and relaxed, and no styling crap in it. So I think there is a lot of validity to that argument about identities being formed in childhood years. I ALWAYS felt comfortable with long hair.
But growing up under my G.Ps rules when my parents split and I moved in with them around 1986 (I was only like 1 or so), up to around 2000 (still lived with them after that), I had to have haircuts. They sorta loosened up after then. Initially, I would resist to having cuts, but they won. Whenever my hair would just barely begin begin in the awkard phase (4-5 months), mainly my grandmother would remind in sort of a griping way, "Jesse needs a haircut". Plus it didnt help either that neither of my grandparents knew anything about styling products or just styling to help control the awkardness of my hair. I was stuck and could only get so far as the awkward phase, before someone would comment flat out that I need a haircut or diplomatically patronize with "just get a trim". I put up with tons of hacked jobs by so called "hairstylists" who didnt know what the hell they were doing. It was horrible. I looked awful because before I could get any real length to my hair, it stayed in the awkward phase.
So starting in high school and up until about beginning of juinor year of college, I went short, with buzzcuts, flat tops and messy spikes and sometimes just neatly greased down with hair crap. It worked, but I was always worrying about the style losing shape, and I became very obsessive over my hair, which I knew wasnt healthy.
Because I have complete freedom now being somewhat on my own in college, I have stepped up to the plate and now going all out on letting my hair grow because its my own choice. I still have to put up with comments from my grandmother like "Jesse looks older with his hair longer" but my aunt and mom say I look better with some length. I also get accused of wanting to "look like" my aunt's fiancee, who also has long hair in quite a lengthy ponytail (like mid-back). I put up with it, only because I can do whatever I want now, but my point is, is that I was somewhat stifled and controlled growing up with a very conservative upbringing. My grandparent's generation seems to frown upon longhairs, as my g.ma's brother and his wife are very in the box thinkers, and very judgemental too. My g.p's nearly flipped too when I got my earring. It's kinda sad.
I agree that ideas are mostly generational. People may also be influenced by their parents' ideas. I was raised from the ages of five to about thirteen by my maternal grandparents. Their parents were born in the 1800s and very early 1900s. My grandparents insisted on haircuts once a month until my senior year of high school, and even then they wanted me to have trims (of which, now with regret, I had two).
My paternal grandparents were born just a few years after my maternal grandparents, but their parents were born during World War I. They are more tolerant of long hair. My dad has had long hair off and on for about thirty years (which may possibly be the cause of my want of long hair).
Of course, that's the way a lot of families are. My parents always had my hair cut short while I was growing up, but they loosened up after I got into my teens. Even so, however, I never identified as a longhair (sadly), so I can't say that it was ever really that long. But, knowing my parents, if I had decided to do that, they would have had no problem whatsoever. My mom surely wouldn't have; my dad may not necessarily have liked it, but he would have never said so. (He's an ex-forces, but really quite liberal at heart.) My mom's gone now, but my dad has never commented once, now that my hair is long. He's totally cool with having a gay son and he loves my partner, so my long hair is a piece of cake, I'm sure.
I'm curious to see pictures of your hair.
I think now days it has cooled off alot, however kids seem to see their parents as a role model and have that long hair type so i think let by gones be by gones. You only live once. My parents,relatives are very conservative looking people and very old school.
I have a friend who says I could pass as 18 or 19, partly because of my long hair. As I'm about a month shy of 31, I'm always somewhat chuffed when I hear this.
Long hair doesn't make you look older.
