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Hi, I used to have hair down to my shoulder, but my wife she insists that I get it cut because she thinks its unprofessional. I resisted her because I like having long hair and didnt want to cut it. She said if I dont cut my hair she would divorce me and make me pay child support which I cannot afford to pay. I dont want to get divorced and I told her I will think about it. She got real mad and stuff but I thought she was fine. But then the next day I discovered that someone had cut my hair in a real bad way, and I was pretty much forced to go to a barber shop to get it buzzed because it looked awlful. I asked my wife she said she doesnt know a thing. I dont know if its the kids or my wife had cut my hair while I was sleeping but now I dont know what to do...
Wow, man. That's harsh. It sounds like you need to take a trip to the store and not come back.
Report what has happened to the police, and then you can get a divorce and make HER pay the child support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Ken in San Francisco
Ken is bang on in this case. What happened to you is a case of battery -- pure and simple. The more PC types amongst us would call it "domestic abuse", but battery is a crime and deserves to be treated as such.
A woman that would take sisors to your hair while you slept is not only very sick but very dangerous not only to you but to your children. She needs help !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Or she told your kids to do it and not to tell. Either way that is way screwed up. You should be furious! I can't believe someone would do such a thing. To divorce someone because of hair is riduiculous. Are you sure it's love? damn..this story got me all mad for a second.
This is so screwed up sounding that it is almost like a joke. I wish it was, but if it is true, if this woman will cut your hair off in your sleep, she might cut some other things off that won't ever grow back! This whole deal sounds very disfunctional. I certainly don't know what you should do, but whatever you are doing now is not working.
She might be just looking for an "excuse" reason for divorace? How is her attitude now that you have barely nothing left?
Sounds like you need a good divorce lawyer!
Hi,
I'm flabbergasted - that's a bad case of abuse - please, please, file charges against your (soon-to-be-ex-)wife! She is dangerous - I entirely agree with the other posts!
Get out, start a new life, so that you can start your personal healing process.
My sympathies - the next steps you need to take are probably going to exacerbate your pain - but, better an end with horror than horror with no end!
Neither you nor your kids are safe in that family!
Hans-Uwe
love of Hair
My Wife dont like my hair either but she has never gone to that extreme in cutting my hair while i was asleep you should seek legal advice as that is classed as an assault of in this country as it will probably happen again and again !
Axel
Hi,
I've already repied to your thread further down; but this story so disturbed me, that I have more I'd like to say on the topic...
First of all, a mariiage is supposed to be based on mutual love, respect, and trust, --- all of which have now been shot to hell by a single act (the cutting of your hair without your permission). SOMEONE in that house cut off your hair while you slept. Since there is only your wife & kids who live in that house woth you, it is obviously one of them, --- and a kid wouldn't normally do that sort of thing, without being prompted by another adult.
This is neither a safe, nor a sane household. If you let your wife get away with this, she will do it again... AND YOUR KIDS ARE THE NEXT VICTIMS (if she has not already victimized them in some other way already, behind your back).
I normally never say anything like this to a stranger, but I will in this case: your marriage is over. And it's not just about hair. Unless she confesses, apologizes, promises to let you make your own decisions about your hair and other parts of your own body, she has proved herself unworthy of being trusted ever again. AND... SHE DOES NOT DESERVE TO KEEP HER OWN KIDS: YOU DO!!!!!!!!
Report this incident to the police, consult with a marriage councelor, get a good divorce lawyer, --- preferably all of the above... But, whatever you do from now on, as long as you're still in that house with that woman also living there, I would go sleep on the couch, and also wear a hat at night (to help wake you up in case she ever tries that agian)!!! In fact... I would sleep in a separate room now, if I were you,--- one where you can securely lock & bolt the door at night!
- Ken
Hi,
I think, you're right, Ken.
We need to look at it this way. If any HUSBAND did that to the WIFE, SHE'd throw him out of the house and get a court order barring HIM from getting closer than, say, half a mile to the house - RIGHTFULLY SO. And any violation of that court order would lead to arrest and a jail sentence.
Now we switch genders - and, voilà, SHE has to leave the house because SHE has been abusive. As far as I know, it works that way in different judicial systems and countries.
Hans-Uwe
I hadn't thought of that, Hans-Uwe; but I think you're absolutely right-on. And, actually, when I think about it some more... the subject of his original post is titled: "abusive wife" (Hmmmm... that kind of says it all, doesn't it?!!)
- Ken
I hate to throw water on this fire but this story sounds familiar...I am doubting the part about not knowing how someone cut his hair without knowing...resulting in a forced haircut...sounds like this guy may have some other marriage issues and is using this "hair" story to get a reaction.
Hi,
of course, you may be right. In my estimation, these stories are "urban legends", anything between 30 and 70% of the time. On the other hand, if such things do happen, this board would be one of the places where such information shows up.
And, lets face it, disgruntled spouses have been known to do ghastly things at times. If the victim is the husband, he usually feels he has nobody to turn to, because his acquaintances may just laugh at him, and he usually fears that law enforcement authorities might not believe that such a thing as the "battered husband" exists.
I personally prefer to say a few words of compassion and of advice that would fit the (alleged) situation, to cover the 30 to 70% probability that the story is genuine. To put it the other way around, I don't want to risk adding insult to injury with a, say, 30-70% probability.
Being aware of this "urban legend" problem, I won't feel cheated if a story turns out to be wrong (which has happened in the past).
Hans-Uwe
Hi Larry,
this is horrible - sorry about what happened to you. Why don't you report your ex-girlfriend to the police. If the story is true, she NEEDS to get into trouble with the law in order to learn.
As I said in an earlier post, I don't mean to add insult to injury, but what did you drink, and what else did you take? Usually, if hair is cut while a person sleeps, it's not shaved bald, but "just" butchered badly. Where did your girl friend get a hair-cutting machine? It's incredibly unusual for a sleeping person not to wake up while being undressed and manhandled that way, even after a *few* drinks. (Well, I know that this kind of thing DOES happen in colleges occasionally.)
Can you say in what country / region this happened?
If it IS true: Your hair WILL grow back, it'll be back to shoulder length in two years. In the mean time, just consider this as a learning experience - it'll protect you from binge-drinking AND from impulsive hair-cut decisions in the future.
In any case, best wishes,
Hans-Uwe
I am absolutely shocked about what your wife did to you. That is beyond me why someone would be so desperate to change someone else. Maybe its love, but a sick and twisted form. :(
You and your children even more so, are being exposed to nefarious behavior by a necrotic individual that needs to be punished for their actions. They DO NOT need these examples as a model of behavior growing up. A loving father and his children are in a dysfunctional enviornment with a mother like that. I dont know how you personally feel, but what your wife has done is beyond me, and is unforgivable. She has completely eroded the trust from you in her and from the looks of it, I dont think she will be quick to apologize for her actions anytime soon so thats bad. I am pretty sure these circumstances, when tested aganist applicable statutes, qualify as being against your will, and therefore in violation of law. So needless to say, not only do I smell a divorce case, but criminal charges as well and not just limited to the consent violation, but also malice aforethought based on your wife's pattern of practice and negativity regarding your self-image. You could also try for felony wreckless endangerment of the children because of her model of behavior and potentially victimizing your children in the future, but it may be a stretch. Its important if you can afford it, to consult a good divorce lawyer and criminal attorney and discuss all of these matters. It's time the tables have turned against the stereotype of women kicking men out of the house. SHE is the one who is in the wrong. NOBODY has to change for ANYONE in order for love to happen.
I cant even begin to tell you how pissed off i would be if someone chopped my hair in the night.
If I were in your situation I'd divorce her. No one should tell soemone to cut their hair especially if they claim to love you. It should be up to you how you want your hair. If my woman made a demand on me like that I'd be gone before she got the last word out.
Make up some ridiculous request that you want her to do for you and maybe she'll see how it makes you feel.
I don't think I could say more than what's already been said by the other members, except that I was repulsed and offended while reading this story. Honestly, every time I think about the people in the world that would actually inflict physical abuse on a man merely for his hair, I get furious!
