new thread
Frist of all, I love this room. Its great to be able to share the hair growing experience with everybody.
I went home last weekend. I am at the stage where I cant keep the bangs out of my face without a ton of hair product, so I showed at the front door wearing a ball cap. Second time home since I announced I was letting it grow. A few hours after getting home, mom asked if she could see me without the cap. I begged off saying it was a mess from being under a cap all day. Truth be told, I didnt want dad to see it and start gving me grief. A few hours later I was drving aroud town with sis and she asked me to take off the cap. I did and down it falls in my face. She said she was ok with it. "Maybe next trip you will have a pony tail."
I had some time alone with mom later that day and took off the cap to show her. I dont think she is cool with it, but she is not giving me any grief.
It is long enough for a half tail high on my head. I have started taking my night walk with the half tail. I am gettnig ready for the day I can go out with a full pony tail.
Anybody have any "dealing with family" stories?
It's good to know your mother is tolerant of your long hair, and best of luck to you when discussing it with your father, if you do end up doing so.
I've been growing my hair shaggy since 8th grade, and have had to deal with my parents as they kept forcing me into trims, and now that I'm 16, they're letting me grow it how I want. My dad is a very conservative guy who believes in clean-cut, hard-working young men, and I know he dislikes my hair but he's been considerate towards me and doesn't voice his opinion in what I know would be a derogatory way.
One thing I've always hated from friends and family members is when I've gotten haircuts after many months of growth and then they tell me how bad it looked before. This always angered the hell outta me, because it shows me how much people really talk behind your back. Of course, I wouldn't like if they insulted my hair to my face at any time but if it was constructive, maybe I'd take a new style into consideration.
One time after a major haircut, my own grandmother actually told me "how relieved" she was that it was cut because she said I looked like a girl before. This was offensive due to the fact that she's always been nice to me and then to come out and practically insult me right there! On my first day on the job with my dad, my grandpa also jokingly said that the "initiation ritual" involves me shaving my head. I take a lot of these comments lightly now, but it still sorta bugs me how they will quickly throw them out in the open without much regard for how I might receive them. On the other hand, I've gotten some nice hair complements from my aunts and uncles, but my grandparents always seem to be the stubborn ones, lol
Yea this is how it goes:
Anytime my dad sees me, he gets on my case about how I need a hair cut and I will never get a REAL job I can live off of. He also goes asfar as to say I look like a loser with it aslong as it is aswell. He HATES it with a passion when I wear a bandana skull cap style. He claims I look like a gangster out to kill someone.
Today when I pointed out the leader of SUN microsystems was elected president with a ponytail that was quite long. My dad is like "Well, he is a nobody that will never be anything!" I think my dad missed the words Sun, micro, systems, and President!
Eitherway, he has no tolerance for it and we fight every single day he sees me about it.
My way of "dealing with family" is like this;
Stand your ground - State that you WANT long hair.
Defend always - State facts that prove them wrong.(When they trying making stuff up on why you should get a hair cut)
Wait it out - Never EVER give in to preassure. When ever they bring it up, throw a quick defense up, and try changing the subject. If worst comes to worst, take their brow beatings like a man and walk away.
Anything thats worth getting is never free. It always requires some sort of Challenge, Cost, or Fight.
So just part your hair then.
Awesome to hear that you're getting close to being able to wear the ponytail in public. I'm at that stage too, and I love my ballcaps right now :)
My family has lots of reactions to my hair. Here they are in short.
My Uncle: You look like a girl, and it looks stupid!
My sister: Why are growing your hair if it's curly?
My Mom: I don't care, but you look handsome with short hair.
My Dad: Wish I still had my hair :(
Keep it growing!
You will find, as you go through life, that there will always be those who will find the negative aspects about any situation and emphasize them. Look at the experiences with your hair as a growing experience (pun intended :).
Being on the wrong side of 50 now, I have had many experiences over the years where people have been disapproving of me or my situation. When I was working for another company, I was:
traveling too much
gone all the time
missing my kids growing up
neglecting my duties at home
putting my work before my family
When I went into business for myself, I was:
taking unnecessary risks
leaving the security of a real job
gambling with my financial future
I am active athletically, and get:
Your way too old to be playing with the younger group
Your making a fool out of yourself trying to act young
Your going to hurt yourself
Now I am growing my hair out for the first time since college, and am getting:
You need to go to the beauty shop
You look like a shaggy dog
Your going to ruin your business
How can you do that at your age
I am in business for myself; and for many years was one of the "suits". Imagine the looks I now get when seeing one of my business counterparts for the first time in several months.
Over the years, I have had negative comments about business, jobs, weight, athletics, education, motivation, cars, music, and just about anything else you can think of. Some people take pride in being down on those who are a little different.
There are always people who are going to be critical of something different; the more of the "different drummer" syndrome you exibit, the more it will happen. Many times these are people who are frustrated at being locked into their own conformity, and lash out because they don't have the will to do it themselves. Don't take it personally.
Learning to stand up for your right to be yourself, whatever it may be, it one of the lessons many people never fully comprehend. Learning to do it with class and dignity is rarer yet.
Look at these negative comments you are currently getting as getting a jump start on learning one of life's major lessons; how to handle opposing viewpoints from others with class. It will serve you well in the years to come.
Big George
