new thread
is that when i actually do make it to my desired length (midback or longer) i will lose my hair in some unusual, freakish way. For example, i have this horrible fear that some random crazed anti-longhair maniac will jump me from behind with a pair of scissors and lop my hair off. I know that events like that are very rare, but they have happened before. I guess it is kind of hard to face the fact that something we cherish and take care of so much could be so fragile and easily taken away. A man who has been growing his hair for 6 years could have most of it taken away with a few quick hacks from a scissor-wielding psycho. I have even had nightmares about this kind of thing. I don't know...maybe i just focus on the "what if" things too much.
I share these same fears, and have them all too often.
However it's worth noting that whenever the scenario plays out in my head, I end up stabbing the culprit with the same scissors. And then grow my hair back out, and live happily ever after ;)
Hahaha! I thought I was the only one! Including the "stabbing of the culprit" part!
My main fear is that since I do Brazilian Ju Jitsu (think wrestling), my hair will gradually get ripped out. The other day, we were practicing drills, and my partner kept stepping on my hair. Total accident and of course I expected it. I am taking precautions to stop it from happening, but there is only so much I can do...
Man, as i have posted and said many a' time before, we all get these fears and these weird dream where your hair gets chopped off. i had several myself.
one dream was i go on holidays to Bulgaria and the hotel i stay in is made of plastic - furnitures, etc. Then i go out of the hotel and randomly walk into a barber shop and came out and said 'what the hell did i do that for?!'. another dream was i live in this bigass mansion and decide to go out for the night. next thing i wake up in bed and someone had shaved off the hair. i didnt remember what happened last night. then i was given The Times newspaper and in illustrated diagrams there was a section showing what happened. apparently i visited a mad Austrian aristocrat and had some wine. then when i was drunk, he strapped me to a chair and shaved my head. ?
ok those are some o' mine.
Hi SOADdude,
as the others said already, the nightmare or fear of being shorn against his will is quite common, while the event feared is quite rare. Nevertheless, there are two recent reports on this board (see "abusive wife" and responses). A rational approach to this fear would include two things:
A) trying to identify who gets these fears under what circumstances
B) trying to identify the circumstances under which this type of abuse does happen
About A)
If I get this right, this is usually feared by younger men who come from an environment where long hair is frowned upon by elders and by partners / spouses. There might be the fear that some type of victimization of the past could repeat itself. - It also seems that men who have been wearing their hair long for a number of years are somewhat less likely to be stricken by this kind of fear or nightmares. - Possible risk factors for developing these fears or nightmares may include past emotional or physical abuse.
I should say, I have no data to back up these statements, it's all hypothesis on my part.
About B)
If the experiences reported on this board are true and representative, that could mean that the real abuse probably happens in two or three settings:
Setting 1) Angry girlfriend or wife. If any recommendation is to be derived from these incidents, it would be to watch out
- if a girl friend gets angry, thinking that her long-haired Adonis is unfaithful or too attractive for other girls around him, and
- if a spouse has been nagging you already to cut your hair.
I may sound a bit sexist, but, if a woman says such things, _take that VERY seriously, and be warned_ ! (My apologies to the vast majority of women who, of course, are accepting, tolerant, empathic and caring, and who DESPISE such acts of violence!)
Setting 2) strange parties: It may be o.k. to have SOME alcohol, but if you get tired or drunk and fall asleep in that house, you're an "impromptu" target. That's a situation that gives sick people weird ideas! A friend of mine was VERY lucky on such a party, he just woke up with French braids, a style he would never have considered for himself (well, I saw photographs, and I thought that style was waaaay cool ;-)
Be especially careful if there are no other long-haired guys on that party. And, if you have a strange feeling in your stomach, leave early. There's nothing wrong with taking off early on a weird party - that would be an effective protection against being offered laced drinks (haven't heard such stories yet).
Setting 3) strange towns & villages: If certain areas are known for being unusually uptight about long hair, you have no need to go there. Especially, don't hitchhike in those places. I understand there are numerous stories about longhairs being transformed into buzz-cuts against their will there. - If you do need to pass through, consider tucking all your hair under a hat or a scarf. - If you're uncertain, try to find other long-haired men and ask what that place is like.
One more thing: Are there psychologists around who would know a bit more? e.g. Rome, are you able to help? Who could educate us a bit more about possible meanings of long (and short) hair in several settings - including possible emotional reactions of certain short-hairs?
Best wishes to all, hope you and all the others ARE safe and FEEL safe in their hair growth!
Hans-Uwe
my family is already talking about doing that in my sleep...so i told them if they so much as pull a strand from my hair i will break their fingers...needless to say nobody has bothered to touch it yet :p
Future-tripping about a "worst-case-scenario" is something we all do as humans, --- to some degree, at least. In some ways, it can be occasionally beneficial, in that... it can prepare us for the unexpected, should something bad actually happen in some manner. However... it can also consume us, causing us to become obssessed, --- definitely not a good thing! If you're dreaming about it & constantly worrying about it, you are robbing yourself of the joy of the fact that your hair is growing out very nicely right NOW! The fact is that horrible things like you describe very rarely occur in real life (although they CAN and DO happen, --- and usually make the news when they do!). The way I look at it (since these thoughts have of course crossed my mind as well), is: you will deal with it as best you can under the circumstances, when, but more importantly IF such a thing were to ever occur.
The Serenity Prayer that AA folks use to help themselves out of alcoholism is also helpful towards other issues in life. Even if you are Atheist or Agnostic, the concepts can still comfort & reassure. Here it is, as best I can remember...
"Lord, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
--- And the Wisdom to know the difference!"
Hope this helps!
- Ken
Hey, I've been there, with an ex threatening to cut off all my hair. one did cut a chunk off in my sleep. Moral: don't date psychos.
I even had bits cut in elementary school.
In my house now, the freak out threat is for me (woman) to threaten to lop off my own.
So SOADdude, hang in there, and try not to stress too hard. It is rare. It is odd. Your tresses will not be stresses, and will keep growing.
