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My question has to deal with the awkwardness of having long hair. Being the self-conscious person that I am this has come up lately. How do I go about finding a trusted stylist? Right now I know of a good one but that is 5 hours away. It's worth the drive and I like to go to that area anyway, but I'd like to find someone around here. I thought about taking the risk of trimming it myself, but I don't know about that.
Also, I'm wanting to learn how to respond respectfully and appropriately to questions laced with an offensive tone about my hair. That can be a challenge. any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Peace out
Brad
Don't make this too hard. Pick out a local stylist, walk in and tell them EXACTLY what you want. I have never, in 6 years, had a problem getting exactly what I want from a stylist.
I go to the standard chain hair places.
I only go a couple of times a year.
I make sure I look the stylist square on in the face and say something like this:
"I've been growing my hair out for (some time) now. This is what I want. I want you to take off one inch from the bottom. I let me hair grow all to one length. However, I want you to slightly round the sides so that it's not straight across the back.
Does that make sense?"
And then I wait for the stylist to confirm that she/he understands. Sometimes, I go through it again.
Bottom line: it's going to take the stylist about 5 minutes to do this right. You are going to pay aboutt 15.00 for this (that's all I ever pay), and you and the stylist can afford to take an extra 30 seconds to make sure you understand correctly what's happening.
And, you keep your eyes open while she/he is working. If you are concerned say: wait! Are you doing X now? Can you tell me whaat you are doing?
I've never had to stop them. They've always done exactly what I want. Go in. Be confident and firm about what you want. And, be friendly.
Tip when done.
Robert
just curious how much do u tip on a $15 haircut :]
My general rule of thumb on tipping in service work is 20 percent. That would be 3.00 for a 15.00 haircut, but I think last time I went--several months ago--I left 5.00. The stylist took great pains to do exactly what I wanted and made sure that I knew she was listening.
Robert
When I get asked or get comments (almost always from other guys)about my hair with regards to: looking like a girl, being gay, being weird, going to the beauty shop, etc., I just grin and ask them "for more information, since I know nothing about it and they seem to be the resident expert". That tends to end that line of discussion. Being 6'1" and 280 lbs doesn't hurt either :)
It's actually quite easy. If someone snidely says something like, "Don't you think it's time for a haircut?" I always respond with a quick little grin, and a very pleasant, "OK." Agreeing with them usually shuts them up. I haven't gotten any worse comments from people, but I believe my responses would be similar:
Mean person: "Starting to look like a girl there, dontcha think?"
Me (nodding head in agreement): "Yeah, yeah."
Not only does such a response not add fuel to the fire, it also implicitly acknowledges that I really don't care what they think.
Best way of all to deal with the "awkwardness stage" is to NOT GET ANY TRIMS OR HAIRCUTS. These are only a "quick-fix" that sets you back in time and makes the road to Long Hair 100 miles instead of 10. If possible, just accept the fact that you are in the middle period of achieving a goal and avoid looking in the mirror as much as possible.
Why be respective to people who down you in an offences? They don't deserve it. Best way to handle them is to ignor, or better yet agree with them. It takes the wind out of their sails as they are looking to get the best of you, and you have just distrupted their little plan and they know that they cannot.
Just some examples:
Q. "When are you going to get a Haircut?"
A. "When I get to the Barber Shop."
Q. "You are starting to look like a girl with that long hair."
A. "Yeah, I know it."
Q. "Did you know that you look like a mess with that hair?"
A. "Sure do!"
In other words kind of "wing-it" as the uncalled for comments come your way. And also know that when your hair is long the comments will cease and compliments will come your way. A certain amount of respect very often also as you have set yourself apart and are your own person.
Good luck to you. Just bite the bullet, forget about the comments and let the hair grow non-stop for at least a couple of years by itself. It looks best of all grown-out without having trims and "even-ups" along the way. It "evens-itself out" all by itself.
If you click on my photo you will see the results of hair allowed to grow by itself. I am 3 months shy at present of 4 years growth from a "Buzz cut."
Justin, It is so hard trying to picture YOU with a buzzcut lol, how could you have been any other way then a longhair :)
Actually it is VERY EASY!
1. Read the offensive post.
2. Do NOT respond to ANY negative remarks. That is, do not even acknowledge that they are there or that you have read them.
3. Respond ONLY to the POSITIVE remarks.
I have been posting here and on other sites for YEARS and the above
technique always worked for me...and at the same time, I earned the respect of others by NOT
getting involved in petty arguements.
Good Luck!
So you wander through life having no real opinion on anything?
It's good psychology to reinforce only respectful behavior. There are ways to respectfully disagree, i.e. to have even strong opinions but still respect the other person even though I disagree with his/her opinions.
If the problem is not just differing opinions, but a disrespectful way of expressing them, then starting a discussion wouldn't be fun.
Hans-Uwe
how to respond respectfully and appropriately to questions laced with an offensive tone about my hair. That can be a challenge. any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Did you know women get this too?
"are you growing your hait for Locks of Love (wig makers/ hairsellers for kids with alopecia)?"
"Aren't you a litte old for long hair?
"You'd look so cute with (insert short style here)!"
there is only arespect possible if you truly respect every idiots right to opinion.
Practice a few zinger lines:
"I have a Samson complex"
"My lady loves my flowing hair...she can't get enough of me."
"I'm practising to be a rock star to get all the women" (modify those if you have lovers of same or both genders, of course, and the person needs to know..otherwise work on THEIR insecurity)
"my dog ate my scissors... (pretend weeping) I miss that dog..."
whatever suits you.
It really isn't worth it to honestly answer random strangers.
