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I’ve been growing my hair for almost two years now, and it’s about shoulder length. But for some reason, I am nervous about wearing it in a ponytail around people I know well, like close friends and family, and at work. I’ll wear a ponytail in public, but I still have not done it around people I know, even though it would be more convenient or appropriate in some circumstances. Maybe I’m afraid of what people will say or think. Has anyone else ever felt this way, and what did you do to get over the hump? What were people’s reactions the first time, and how did you respond? Thanks for your sharing your experiences…
This takes me back. Yes, I had the same apprehensions and went a long time only wearing a ponytail in public around strangers. Then it turned summertime, I didn't have much time to mess with my hair, and I just started wearing a ponytail most of the time-- incuding around friends and family. Surprisingly, nobody said anything. My hair was well below my shoulders and I guess it just seemed natural.
Go ahead and wear the pony. You'll probably look better with it anyway. As long as you don't wear bright fru-fru ponytail holders or something, you're going to look like most other guys with long hair.
(I wear the slender knit-fabric-covered bands. They are discreet-looking and don't cause as much breakage as rubber bands or those little tight holders).
ah the "inaugural" ponytail days...
I started growing my hair out in November of 95 and it hasn't been cut since. A few light trims but thats it. My hair is very thick (Native American 4 generations back)so I started with thin/small scrunchies as it passed the shoulders. As it got to the mid-bottom of the shoulders larger scrunchies fit the bill. The nice thing about the larger(cloth) ones is they dont pull your hair out when you take them off. Also, if you use the larger ones, you can switch from a braid to ponytail as you want/need. Color/style availablilty is much better as well although I do avoid the metallic styles just cause Im not a loud dresser. Im not afraid to appear "fem" as people might say with my hair. I tell people that these were made for people with long hair...not just girls...if that were so why do so many guys have BOTH ears pierced?
BTW.. wearing it in "just" a ponytail is something I really dont do a lot anymore because of its length..loose it touches my belt.
Bill F
Hi there I have blonde hair just below my shoulders and It is very thick and gets frizzy.You are lucky having such long hair am trying to grow mine but the true length only shows when wet.It falls about half way down my back I am 1.6m tall
Dude: Wearing your hair in a pony tail is just not a big deal. If you've never had one, and if your friends and family are of a conservative bent, you can probably expect questions the first time they see you: "Hey, what's up with the pony tail?" Be ready. Have a couple or three answers ready:
"I dunno yet; I'm still getting used to it."
"It's in honor of my personal hero -- Genghis Khan."
"If Woody Allen can do it, I *sure* as hell can."
Or more seriously,
"I'm growing my hair out, but I still need to see."
"I just thought I'd try it this way, and now that I have, I really like it."
"It's my new look."
When I read your message, I chuckled, because I have the opposite problem. I have been growing my hair for for about a eighteen months now and when I go out in public I usually wear it "down". When I am around close friends and family, then I "tie" it up. I, like you, wonder what they will say about my long hair and with it tied up...it seems more unobtrusive. When I first started growing my hair long after many years, there were a few comments but now as I approach the end of the second year...people are used to this look. So, perhaps you could wear it in a ponytail for just one friend and see what kind of reaction you get. I would guess there would not be one. People that I haven't seen for a long time usually don't react to me with my longer hair at least verbally. Good luck on whatever you decide.
Dear Illhusker,
I've had just the same worry as you when I first had long hair. I guess its just that we all tend to stereotype ponytail as feminine due to that "girly" hairband. Hence, when we are facing our close ones, we will tend to feel and worry how they think about us and worry about how to handle their "direct" questioning (which we do not have to to the public).
I do not have a miracle remedy but it's just my conviction. Since I've got the conviction to grow longhair, I'm sure of that. What I did was only to explain to my closed ones that it's my hair and I like having it long, and tied up for convenience. If they kept on yakking, I'll either ignore them, change a topic or react to some over-zealous ones.
Actually, having longhair is a process of conquering the challenge to societal norms. Besides facing criticism from closed ones, we tend to face public opinions. Pressure from bosses, teasing from friends (we call them friends???), warning from teachers (if you're a student in a conservative institution) and mistaken sex from passerby (embarassing?? NO! just tell them you're a guy, that's it!).
Eventually, it's all about yourself. If you could take all of these in stride and live in pride with whatever you have, and live above that, the fact is that, you can be just as normal as any other people, just with some minor explanations to do (of course, without much difficulty).
Take pride in your long hair and enjoy each day as it comes.
Your comment about having longhair being a process of conquering the challenge to societal norms is interesting. The reason I have long hair is that I simply love having long hair. I don't have it to conquer societal norms, rebel, attract attention to myself, or anything else like that. But, I like long hair enough to be willing to put up with all that, and I realize it comes with the territory.
A ponytail makes me uncomfortable because going from loose to tied up is an abrupt change of style, and it attracts attention from people I know. Whereas going from short hair to long hair is a gradual months-long process and less likely to elicit negative or rude responses from people I know. They just grow used to it. Like I said, I don't WANT to attract attention (that kind of attention anyway), and if I can avoid it I will. And that means going without a ponytail.
I think someday I will have the balls to just do it. After all, having long hair is a part of who I am, and people should just accept that. But it is a big step for me. It takes conviction!
Just go for it! I was the same way, but sometime around mid July '99, said "the hell with it." Never looked back. Unfortunately, a hair stylist did something pretty bad to my hair by cutting the top short and leaving the rest in ponytail length. Oops! So, right now, I have 2" long hairs everywhere. Got a long way to go before I'm back to how I used to be, which is unfortunate, but I'll be happy once I have my hair back.
I've grown my hair to about 2 inches. I'm not planning on really long hair, but I'd like to grow it out to like 6-7 inches (think Hugh Grant). Any advice/recommendations?
I wrote a short account of my first two years of having long hair about two years ago for The Hair Boutique. You might find it interesting. Here's the link. http://www.hairboutique.com/tips/tip058.htm
Have a great day.
John.