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Well My hair... I was happy with it, ive had it long many times..shoulder length, followed the advice of a loved one and went for a haircut...and the barber layered it and made the top shorter in an attempt to make it look a bit thinner and really screwed it to hell. The back is very uneven with the front and tops although it still looks long. In reality though, the top comes down to about the top or middle of my ear, the sides of my head go down to my jaw or so. It was way way longer on top previously. Everything seemed to fall into place before I cut it but now its hell.
My question is...Should I keep growing it out and try to salvage it later? Will the layers pay off in the end? Or should I just cut it and start from scratch...if i try to salvage it whats the best way?
Hi,
sorry you received the kind of advice that simply is WRONG. Of course, you see things clearly today - layering usually is a big mistake. What were the intentions of the "loved one"? I hope it was not trying to trick you into the "virtuousness" of short hair, or generating a kind of despair that would make you "chop it all off"??? However, I don't know her at all, and I shouldn't presume being able to talk about her motives.
The best thing you can do now is just think of it as kind-of being thrown back to the "awkward stage", and the best way of dealing with it is to ride it out. I'd NOT have it cut to even it out NOW, because than it would REALLY be short again.
Brace yourself with lots of patience for about 18 months. IF your hair still doesn't work out, then you may consider a trim to get it back to one length (it probably won't be necessary). Make sure you check with other male longhairs beforehand about whether the stylist listens to what you want. In New England, Jason certainly has had good experiences with B.R. Gallagher.
In the mean time, consider using some conditioner / pommade-type gel to keep your hair in place if needed.
I think the old Texians got it right (without knowing how much it applies to hair, at the time): "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
In any case, don't dispair. This kind of wound heals over time, all by itself. What remains in the end, is the learning experience, and you'll even be able to help others to avoid that trap.
Best wishes,
Hans-Uwe
It was a bit of her complaining, and a bit of the persons cutting it giving bad advice. This is why I grow long hair, because I trust NONE of these hair salon people and they always take a big fat crap all over my hair. It is my true belief that salons are the lowest form of location to be in, I'd rather do jury duty than sit in a salon making small talk with a person whos going to almost guaranteed screw my hair over.
That said....I'm still very confused, I really am thinking of cutting it short and leaving it 1 solid length then growing it back out (and never listening to anyone to cut it)..for 3 reasons:
1) With my hair many diff lengths all over, I have no way of knowing when is a good time to try a repair job and I cant keep track of that many different lengths. Also it may require going in several times.
2) The Psychological effect. Every day I wear the burden of those moron's mistakes on my head and I see it in the mirror and get very very angry, at least I erase it. Kind of like boycotting someone's work.
3) If I grow it out for another 10 or 15 months with the way it currently is, and it turns out to be bad even when someone tries to repair it, it was all for naught. It would have already been long and how I wanted it by then if I started over now.
I really hate to cut it...its still pretty long now, but a major hack job. I suppose I could try a repair job cause I dont mind cutting it at this point and it could work and save me several months of growing, but like i said, I've always had scars about the constant bad advice and inexperience of salon stylists in dealing with men with long hair.
So yeah, to cut or not to cut? Am I making a mistake leaning toward cutting and starting from scratch? Or should I go for the shorter (but still sort of long) repair job attempt and save me months of growing?
I really appreciate everyone's input..I like this board so far, its just what I was looking for. Real people with real long hair experience. Kudos to your community!
Hi Swamphell,
maybe your reason #2 is a strong reason to get a repair job kind-of soon, i.e. to have the longer parts of it shortened, getting back PART of the way towards one length. Maybe then it would be wise to search carefully and then perhaps have someone do a restricted repair job "Urban-Cowboy-y2k"-style, like he described in his post.
Then again, if your top layers now go down to the middle or top of your ear, then cutting it all to one length would involve cutting all the lower layers and exposing at least the lower half of the ears and perhaps the lower part of the neck. The result would be somewhere in between a "mop" style and a conventional medium-to-short hairstyle. This would certainly dismantle the "hack job" of the other stylist.
The advantage: You wouldn't be back to Square One-Half, you wouldn't have lost ALL length, and you'd be back to long hair not in 18 months, but less than one year. I'd say that'd still be lots better than buzzing it all off.
If you don't think a stylist will understand you, then you could first tie a thin bandana around your nose, ear lobes and lower neck, use two mirrors to chop off all hair that reaches below it (the result of which probably will look like a hack job), and then ask a stylist to "make it an even line around your head by cutting not more than 1/16 of an inch here and there - and, there's going to be NO thinning, and the upper layers are NOT to be cut any shorter", and if a stylist tells you that this isn't possible, try another stylist.
Again, sorry you were sent into that trap. If your girlfriend starts complaining again when you grow it out again, then it's time to reflect upon whether she loves you "just the way you are".
Hope you can still come up with something you can live with over the next 6-18 months.
All the best,
Hans-Uwe
P.S.:
If you NEED a repair job to get some peace of mind, try the latter, as I'm suggesting above.
Based on my own similar experience I had 6 years ago, this is my advise:
If your new layered haircut is so bad-looking that you can't stand to look at it in the mirror, then I'd suggest you go to a DIFFERENT hair-stylist (find one who has an excellent reputaion with long hair, if possible). Tell him/her that you just want a "repair job", --- and to cut as little off as possible, because you are growing it back. A really good hair stylist will take the time to discuss your hair with you, well before picking up a pair of scissors. Be prepared to pay the higher price, though; but it's worth it!!!
I had a disaster haircut in Y2K, which was my own fault for going in the first place. It took me 3 additional haircuts to "repair" it, --- which, by the 3rd haircut, it was SHORT. But I blame this on myself mostly, since I was in a very anxious and irrational state of mind at the time. I ended up never returning to any of those stylists; but found a totally new one, through a recommendation of a woman friend of mine who has very long hair. It was this new hair stylist that helped me get over the trauma of what I'd done to myself: he literally only cut off about a 1/4 inch of hair all the way around (except maybe more in badly-done areas), --- it almost felt like he was just cutting his scissors in the air!! Psychologically, that haircut helped "erase" the bad memory of the others, and he then worked with me every year thereafter in trimming off split ends as well as some re-shaping as I re-grew it long again.
BUT... if looking in the mirror at your new layered look does not bother you as much as my Y2K haircut bothered me, then if you can possibly just leave your hair alone for now & just let it grow, as-is... that would be preferable, in my opinion, over cutting it real short (to "start all over again").
Hope these comments have helped!
- Ken in San Francisco
Best thing to do at this point is to allow the hair to grow by itself from where it is now. If you go a full 2 years I doubt very much that you will notice that anything ever happenned to it. Don't worry, in the end it will look great and no more layering or thinning will assure you of the best long hair ever.
