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Can anyone give me some advice.
I'm 14 and live with my father and step mother. I have been growing my hair for three years now and it is below my shoulders. My mother never approved but my step mother has been really supportive and my Dad is indifferent.
For New Year I stayed with my mother for a visit and she got on me about my hair again. Anyway, she took me to a regular salon to get it cut. I said there was no way I wanted it cut short and she promised eventually that she wouldn't make me do it against my will. However, she clearly told the stylist what to do because when I started to tell the girl that I didn't want much cut off, she just said that my mother had told her how she wanted it done.
It started off okay because she didn't seem to be taking anything off the length at the back. However, she did seem to take much longer than just a trim and she seemed to be thinning the hair out a lot using her scissors like a razor.
When she blow dried my hair, I eventually realised that she had put lots (and I mean lots) of layers in. The hair around my face even kind of curls into my face like around the jaw line a bit. It just looks so girlish now. It's kind of a cross between the Jennifer Anniston style a few years ago and Buffy. I hate it, and told my mother, but she just laughed and said that I could cut it shorter if I wanted to.
I stuck with it, but when I got home my Dad freaked out a bit and said that I look more like a girl than a boy now. He had never complained before. My step mother was more understanding and I've asked her what I can do but she said the same as my mother - either I've got to cut it shorter (and that would mean almost back up to my jaw line) or live with it until I can grow it back out.
I've lived with it since New Year now, but I hate it. The girls at school have even made fun of me and they always said they liked my hair before.
What should I do? Has anyone been there before. Is it ever worth cutting your hair - should I just stick it out. It seems so pointless having grown my hair for three years to lose 1-2 years of growth and have to start again.
Please help.
Dan
Hey, Dan...
I can certainly relate to your predicament...back when I was in 10th grade, I had wonderful shoulder-length hair. After being hounded by various relatives, I thought perhaps I'd trim things up a bit, just to get people off of my back. Boy, was I wrong...
When I went to the salon (for the first time in ages) I told the woman that I wanted to have things "thinned out and shortened up a bit...I want to still feel like I have hair." Oh, GOD did I get a result...
I ended up looking like a cross between Jennifer Aniston and Billy Ray Cyrus, if you can imagine. It was like a layered mullet. It was HIDEOUS.
After living with it for a few weeks, I got so tired of looking stuck in the 80s, that I went in to a different salon, operated by a family friend. The only thing that could be done is just to leave it, or shear it off short...and I mean REALLY short.
I cut it off.
In the long run, in my case, the cutting was best. You ultimately have to make the decision, and since I don't know what you look like, my personal opinion doesn't really apply...but, if you must cut, you must. After all, just up to the jaw line isn't terribly far.
Sorry I can't come up with anything more reassuring...
Nicholas
I'm sorry to hear about your hair problem. Maybe you will have to cut it, but I'd recommend getting an expert opinion. There's no substitute for a professional hairstylist seeing your hair in person. I'd try to find one that is long-hair friendly, and see if the stylist can do anything to give you a less-feminine without loosing too much length. Depending on where you live, perhaps someone here can recommend a good stylist in your area.
If it turns out you'd have to cut it, it may be better to just stick it out. The worst may be over as far as negative reactions, and it should gradually lose the feminine look as the layers grow out. Unfortunately, you're not the first person to get a bad haircut (at least for what you want). Maybe you can even get sympathy from the girls.
Doug
Your 14... can you grow a beard, goatee or mustache to add a masculine touch.
GOOD POINT. If your facial hair grows like mine did at age 14, it will be long enough to dissolve the "he's a girl" notions in about two weeks. You can tough it out that long man.
I want to add that guys have found over and over on this board that facial hair will neutralize all but the most flagrantly feminine manifestations. All most people do is take a reading of "boy or girl" on you, and your facial hair will tilt them assuredly in the male direction. Hair alone, without big frilly pink bows or the like, is just not going to be feminine enough, no matter what the stylist did to it, to overcome the strong male presumption when facial hair is present.
Dan , If you cut she has won. Don't give her that satisfaction. It sounds like you might be able to tuck it behind your ears while it grows out. The worst is over as people have seen it and had their say.Even if does look feminine for a while, so what? You are to young to remember but we older longhairs remember the beatles with hair2-3 inches long causing outrage about it. Work with it, play the sympathy thing with a girl or two, but don't give up on it.
There are lessons here.
1. You cannot trust your mother. Don't make this one again.
2. When a stylist does appear cooperative then end the encounter!!!!!
Scott
Sorry for the typo in my first post. That should be if the stylist DOESN'T appear cooperative.
Also Dan since your mom thinks she can embarrass you into cutting it maybe you can turn the tables on her. Tell her you have decided that you like it and when you go to see her really frill it up. This could work both ways.
Scott
You can slick your hair back. I can't imagine how it would look by the description of your hair, but give it a try.
i am a guy with short hair, I have always wanted to have really longhair that i could put in a braid, but first I want to see what it would look like. Does anyone know if there is a way for me to see what I would look like with long hair? I would like to be able to see what I would look like with my hair pulled back into a ponytail, or braid. Thanks
I realize you think it is "girlish", but is it a "good" cut? Did the stylist do a good job on the cut, even though you don't like?
If the cut is good, you can grow the layers. Believe or not, there are some guys sho would like to/have had their hair cut like you described.
There are plenty of females who got their hair cut like that, then grew out the layers.