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I never thought Id be fighting with a long haired guy but I did yesterday...
well heres the story...
me and my friend had been to the river for the day and got a bus home and sat opposite us was a male about 45 year old with long black hair in a pony tail and a black bandana on his head who was sittign with his partner...
his partner was upset abotu her life basically, how she had cancer and he was doing anything for their relationship.. the arguement went on for a loong time, the guy with long hair stood up with his cell phone in his hand and smacker it across her jaw... I was angry but I was just going to have words with him until I seen his partner crying and she looked at me directly in my eyes, I honestly didnt know what to do in this situation but anger got to me so I stood up and punched him in the jaw aswell, seen he lost a bit of balance and then punched him in the side of the face, he fell on the floor and his partner said 'he deserved that'
The bus stopped and the driver and a man from the bus dragged me off the bus and left me while my friend came off with me too with the woman praising me by saying she wished their was more people that cared like me. Basically people on the bus didnt know the story and I looked like some hooligan... people say violence never solves anything but I dont think words would have reached the brain of this so called 'man'. People have different views, maybe I was wrong but I dont care because I felt like it was the right thing to do and only thing to do.
The funny thing about this whole incident is that my friend has long hair too... it makes us laugh as no other guy had long hair on the bus so I dont think I gave long haired guys a good rep yesterday but Im a nice person and never fight at all. Its just a shame to see a guy with great long hair treating his partner like crap =( Not all guys with long hair are 'nice' people at all, looks can be very decieving! Anyways I just wanted to share and give soemthing to the board that may interest some of you....
P.S - Im a nice guy =) Hope you dont judge me by what I did and happy growing folks =)
What this fellow did when he hit this lady is called abuse. I don't know where you are located, but he can be arrested and prosecuted for doing this in many places.
There is no reason for any man to hit any woman whatsoever. I would have taken much the same action as you did; however I would have filed a police report against him to document his actions against her. Sadly, sooner or later it will happen again.
Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire to get through.
Big George
I can think of several. It seems that most people are only able to perceive striking a woman as abuse and bullying. Of course, any violence and abusive tactics are disgraceful and totally condemnable. But it bugs me when women are giving amnesty like this; I know males who have had to endure physical provocation by females, unable to retaliate because of the stigma attached to doing so. But if it was a guy who was hitting them, it'd be quite OK to defend himself wouldn't it?
In this instance, this guy was being a total **** and deserved what he got. But to say that under no circumstances should a man hit a woman is just silly.
Matt
I think the best solution in such circumstances is to simply leave the abusive partner and file a report with the police at the same time. No relationship should contain violence of any degree, one way or the other. If it does, it isn't a relationship at all.
In this particular case, I agree that the action Jamie took against the low life piece of **** beating on his partner was justified. I only hope that the woman has someone else, friend or family, that she can turn to and get away from the **** she is currently with.
It really raises my ire to hear such a story. I believe what you did was completely justified, however, the real tragedy here is that this type of abuse will continue and will only stop if the woman would leave this piece of crap. It has been said so many times, but its true: Fools like that are only aggressive to those whom they know will not or cannot strike back. Bullying others to let out their own tension!
I can hardly blame you for what you did. This was a terrible thing to have had to witness. But:
The Laws being how they are today may have ended you up in the most trouble of all. Unfortunately we seem to be living in a Lawsuit-happy society. Had something happened to this man because you couldn't restrain yourself, it would be you that would most likely be punished the most. Fair? Not in my opinion at all, all things considered. But I am thinking of the Legal end (of which I am hardly an expert) and a crafty lawyer "if" retained by this scoundral could very well have made your life sheer hell in Court.
Well, I am thankful this didn't happen to you. Whew! However, I can well see why you did it. Too bad that guy isn't behind bars right now for attacking his wife. It really is HER CALL at this point to prepare for the necessary action needed to get this guy out of her life. But, what if she is one of these women who receive abuse all the time and regardless of how treated stay on with the "love of her life?" Sick.
Justin, I agree with you 100%. Jamie what you did was very admirable but you could have gotten yourself in alot of trouble. That is why probably nobody came to her aid. Here in NY you would definely would have been in deep ---- with a big law suit on your hand, had the guy wanted to press charges. It's up to the gal to get awhole of her life and get rid of the bum.
well good for you man, i think its a brave thing you did. i myself probably wouldnt have done the same, but than again i live in nyc and think the police would be called immediatley, and id end up getting sued. where do you live?
And therein lies the flaw in your reasoning, and your actions. When people assume rational discussion isn't possible to resolve a conflict, all efforts at reason are instantly lost. Had I been in your position, I would've simply addressed the bus driver and not gotten directly involved.
Yes, you were.
There are always options. You failed to explore them.
Hair length does not dictate civility.
Your actions say otherwise, and actions always speak louder than words.
The more accurate statement would be, "It's just a shame to see anyone treat their partner like crap".
The length of their hair is irrelevant.
I don't even know you. How else should I judge you?
Their gender, and the length of their are, are both irrelevant.
I agree
Had I been in your position, I would've simply addressed the bus driver and not gotten directly involved.
Kinda quick to judge there.
Your not being present, I find it hard to accept that you can just label him wrong. So you would simply address the bus driver while he continued to beat the crap out of this woman? And then you say he was wrong?
Sometimes people have to stand up for what is right. That is what this fellow did, and I applaud him for it. His actions may have kept this woman from having serious injuries.
Luckily chivalry isn't dead. It's just absent in some people.
If you re-read the original message, the guy smacked her once. Unless Jamie left a detail out of his post, there was no indication the abuse was going to continue beyond that point, so, yes I would've simply addressed the bus driver.
If, however, he was preparing another swing, then I would've tried to catch his hand and then subdue him without attacking him myself.
Jamie wrote that the guy hit his partner once, and while absolutely contemptable and dispicable, if there was no further indication that the woman was in immediate harm at that moment, then Jamie's action would not fall under the legal definition of defense of self or others. If it had been apparant that the beating was going to contine right then and there, Jamie's action would've been different under the law and how I view it. Stepping into a situation where there's an immediate threat to someone else is certainly acceptable. But in this case, from what Jamie described, there was only one blow. Since Jamie chose to step in, he had an obligation to resolve the conflict without resorting to violence.
Had he address the bus driver himself, the man likely would've been removed from the bus. Another option would've been to contact the police the next time the bus stopped. But once the immediate threat of violence has past, using violence to address the situation is both illegal and non-constructive.
Jamie says he's a nice guy and doesn't fight, and yet, in this situation, his anger was so out of control that he physically attacked the man. While you think I may be harsh in judging him like that, this is all I know of him, and someone who reacts in violence in one situation where they're angry is more likely to do so in other situations as well.
There were other options at the time the incident occurred, and because there would be time before the bus would be stopping again to let other passengers off, and because the man was not threatening to assault the woman again - per the description Jamie gave - Jamie had time to assess the situation, evaluate his options, and choose the appropriate course of action.
Something else to take into consideration:
The guy that this woman was with is obviously a hot-head and an abuser. Abusers tend to blame their victims for many things, whether it's the victim's fault or not. Unfortunately, by punching the guy, Jamie may actually have increased the danger to the woman when she and the man were next alone, because it is likely that he will blame her for his having been punched, his reasoning being that, if she had kept her mouth shut, not been yacking so much, and not started crying, Jamie wouldn't have slugged him (although he clearly was not justified in hitting her, and please do not thing that I'm trying to justify what the guy did at all. I'm simply explaining it from what I know of an abuser's perspective). He will most likely not see his own punching of the woman as the actual provoking act. We can hope that this is not the case, and that the woman was not punished later for Jamie's attempt to help her, but when dealing with someone who is clearly an abuser, that is something important to consider, because they will not accept the blame for their own actions, and will instead look to whomever they're abusing to be the root cause of all their problems.
So, if I sound a little harsh or judgemental, that's why. There simply were better ways to handle the situation rather than using violence. The saying that violence never solves anything isn't a cliche, it's the truth.
In this situation the best way to handle it is let the bus driver
handle it. Around here the bus drivers have ways to signal the
police discreetly to get help (They have a button that they can
push to have the destinationg sign light up EMERGENCY....CALL
POLICE.) The bus drivers also have radios where they can summon help, and they have trouble lights that can be flashed.
I would add around here many of starters/supervisors at each of
the terminals have full police powers plus the transit system
has agreements with all the towns to have police assistance.
Domestic violence cases are very difficult, best to leave it
to the police to handle.
You could easily have been the one arrested.
Bear in mind often these women are abused, and what
happens? They immediately go back to the abuser
and get abused again.
wow! well done
Chivalry is not dead! That was a brave thing you did. Unfortunately as others have said, such chivalrous actions may have to remain in the past for fear of lawsuits :(
Bravo, be glad, you gave that woman a good memory. I just hope he didn't take it on her later
I hate it how people choose to be with such jerks, im really nice with anyone and im not a bully or anything but no one has interests in me to be my gf or bf.