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Hello all,
Had an interesting conversation with a co-worker about long hair today. No worries, this co-worker is pro-long hair as he used to have long hair years and years ago.
One thing that seem to worry me is that he said that if I decided to leave the organization I am at and go job hunting, I would be better off cutting my hair off. I felt very discouraged about hearing this. I have a very good skill set, I am very easy to get along with, and well respected. To think that I would not have a chance because I have long hair makes me angry. My hair means everything to me because it is part of who I am. I would be very miserable if I chopped it off. He feels that businesses are going back to the conservative clean cut looks. This just discourages me even more. So what do I do? Stay at the current place I am at till I die, because I am in no threat of having my hair / identity / individuality forced from me. Or when I get all my studies done (ways to go yet) go out into the corporate world and be completely miserable? I just don't get it. All I want from life is to be me and to be happy being me. I have played the "be someone else" game before and I did NOT enjoy it. To me, I don't see any point to live if I can't be happy and enjoy being who I am. This really upsets me. I am tired of living in "someone elses" world.
ESDI
Sorry this got you upset, but as nice as the guy probably is with whom you had this conversation, he is most likely not an authority on the policies of every place of employment and has not a finger on the pulse of every emerging trend in workplace fashion...
If you do indeed have the good set of skills, are easy to work with, and are respected, then you can probably work in MANY other places without problems (didn't you mention you were in computers?).
If you feel that way about your hair, it'd be a shame to cut it, especially more regretful that the cut would have taken place in apprehension of something that may not be a factor or ever happen, rather than something that actually is to be a factor. I don't know if you remember the story Nyghtfall recounted about the fellow who looked distressed when Nyghtfall walked into the training room, confessing that he (the new employee) had had long hair, and cut it off in preparation for the job.
There is always more than one game in town; that is what I am trying to say.
I don't get it sometimes either, but I think you have realized something about yourself, that being you is good, and that being you is the best route to take. Although this may be causing you distress now, and it probably will again, you, by being true to yourself, will in the long run, be more at peace with yourself, knowing that for whatever may come, whatever may befall, you are the thane of your destiny.
Good luck, and no worries!
Bragi
Thanks Bragi,
What's funny is, I used to hate myself for being different because so many people put me down hard for being different. These days, I am slowly beginning to realize that my being different is one of the best qualities about me. I never was a crowed follower and I never will be. I have too much free will.
As for jobs, you are right, there are probably lots of opportunities out there for me. I am very satisfied with the organization I am with now. The only downside is, the pay is not the greatest. The environment, IMO probably could not be matched. and I am one who will choose environment over pay any day.
I do remember Nyghtfall's story. I felt so bad for that guy who had chopped his hair off for that job. I also remember your job forced you to have your cut off as well. That really upset me as you seem like a very nice person.
I am sure it will be a while before I decide to change jobs, I have more important things to worry about like getting my degrees and certs. And yes, I am in the computer field.
Thanks for the input, it was well taken.
ESDI
Why worry about something in advance that may not even happen?
If you do want to change jobs why not investigate the new job
before you quit the old one. Don't quit your old job until you have a new one and have verified the hair policy.
They should make rules for women too...america is just ridiculous at times.
Hi ESDI,
I may be making a wrong assumption here, but based on your user name, I'd guess you work in the computer field. I work in that field, and have found it to be, over the years, remarkably free of prejudice against longhairs. I've switched jobs a couple of times in the past decade or two, and have never had a problem finding a gig -- even with a waist-length mane.
I'd say let it grow out. When you decided to change jobs, don't be insecure about the length of your hair; it has precisely *nothing* to do with how you interact with people or otherwise go about doing your job -- it's just not an issue. If a prospective employer does "make something" over it I'd take that as a sign that that place might not be a very good place to work; those that give people grief over something as fundamentally unimportant as hair length are generally insecure controlling types and are best avoided. Remember, when you interview, you're interviewing your prospective employer as much as they're interviewing you -- and you can always say, "No, thanks."
I think a happy and confident longhair is more employable than a miserable former-longhair.
Hi ESDI,
you seem have run into a phenomenon that might be called "mind poisoning". Certain parts of society try to manipulate even accomplished longhairs into spreading worry thoughts, so that they at least can't effectively serve as an example for others.
Really, if you consider a carreer move, your professional achievements would count a lot more.
And, remember, your co-worker is a "former longhair", who, according to what he said, might have had it chopped off out of carreer concerns rather than a change in taste, and, "Die größten Kritiker der Elche waren früher selber welche" (The greatest criticists of moose used to be mooses themselves). He's still justifying his traumatic decision to "sell out" (sorry about the harsh expression, but he did seem to "sell out", he's not a genuine "short-hair")
When you get job interviews, I'd never even bring up the "hair question". Instead, I'd check the internet site of the prospective employer for any grooming policies. If they bring it up, just ask questions, and prepare yourself with arguments - mention Jonathan Schwartz, the Sun Microsystems executive, if they talk about "professional" or "business-like" appearance. You'll be surprised how easy things can be in the end. - By the way, what part of the US do you live in? (I live in Germany, and even as a professional, I never had problems getting interviews and jobs both in the UK and in Germany.)
Just be proud of yourself and feel good about your looks and your achievements - you're a great guy, and they can take you or leave you, and if they don't like the "package deal", tough for them!
Good luck, happy growth, and lots of hair peace!
Hans-Uwe
Hans-Uwe,
Thanks for the advice. I live in Hampton Roads Virginia. This is a Navy town and is very diverse in people and cultures. I love the diversity as it make meeting people much more interesting.
As for job interviews, I agree with you 100%. If an interviewer gave me crap about my hair and would not drop it, I would simply tell them, "No thanks, sorry for wasting your time.". I feel that skill and a good reputation goes a much farther way then the length of my hair. Even if I was given crap about my hair and hired, I may have second thoughts about the environment as it may be uptight. The issue would more then likely come up again.
I really like that expression, so true too.
I really appreciate that, and yes, they either get the packaged deal, or deal at all.
ESDI