new thread
I am a newbie here, although I have been lurking around for the past six months or so. It’s a great site although I do regret the “old-fashioned” software and wish for a slightly more up-to-date version. Anyway, the purpose of this post isn’t at all to grumble about the above, but to introduce myself.
IÂ’m an English-French dual national living in Paris, where I have been working for the Government for the past eight years since graduating from a French administrative school. I now work as an advisor to a Minister in the current administration, and my job, which is a political appointment, involves frequent contact with my boss, the prime MinisterÂ’s private office, and similar, ultra-conservative environmentsÂ…
Although I have always had a slightly “alternative” lifestyle (including even tattoos/earrings lol) that is frowned upon by the more serious-minded within the tiny circle of French politics , my boss is cool and on the whole I have gotten away with it so far, basically because being much trendier than the rest of the pack hasn’t (of course) affected my ability to work, either way: I always wear the inevitable dark suit, shoes and dull conservative tie to the office and official functions, although I tend to dress very differently out of the office.
All this caused no problem while my hair was short: I could wear it sleeked down with gel while at the office, and even a buzz-cut was not a problem which just goes to how how far that ubiquitous cut seems to have achieved a social respectability that is basically still denied to long hair.
The trouble started in the spring, about nine months after I had decided to grow my hair long: I was approached for a new job as the DG of a small French public-sector media company. I had a slight maintenance cut just before the interview with the Chairman, which went well, but a few days later a senior figure in the French administration called me and said if I wanted the job, I would have to cut my hair because it projected the wrong image. At this point, my hair was basically just shaggy (covering the ears) but nowhere near my shoulders.
I decided not to give in to this and so I stayed in my current job and continued growing, with just one slight maintenance cut (plus straightening at Lazartigue of which more in another post) in June. Just before the French holiday season, I was again approached by the same senior figure offering to put my name forward for another appointment, one which I basically have been dreaming of/craving for over all of the eight years since I graduatedÂ… But I was told that this political appointment had not chance of succeeding unless I went for a haircut first.
One argument put forward by the official (who also happens to be a close friend) and by several others who have commented on my new hair length is that in addition to being penalizing socially and job-wise, long hair does not suit me.
I would appreciate feedback on this one : you will see pics of me at various stages of growth on the link below.
Salut, Astorg,
this story confounds me a bit, you were interviewed for a job as DG (directeur général?) with a public-sector media company (i.e. not a government agency), and you got a phone call from an official in your current government hierarchy about your hair? Why did those job offers arrive only after started growing your hair??? Is this a carrot-on-a-stick to get you short-haired again?
It is possible that something else is being played, and hair per se has not necessarily something to do with it. Rather, certain superiors may want to assess, whether or not you would be the nice guy who can be controlled and styled to their liking. That might be the subject of the test. Is there some kind of power play going on?
And then, what are these friends trying to say, "in addition to being penalizing socially and job-wise, long hair does not suit you"? All due respect for your friends, but that kind of reasoning seems weird, absurd, and manipulative to me. Are they blowing up the social and job aspect because they don't like your new looks? Many conservative friends did that to me when I was younger wielding my carreer and growing my hair at the same time.
As I said, what's weird is that, with the involvement of that "close friend", you have been proposed for high-class jobs twice, AFTER you started growing out your hair. Why not BEFORE? Well, I do know that many government officials and members of parliament choose personal secretaries etc according to their personal whims and likings.
I can't tell you what to do. Possibly, you WILL get your next promotion with or without a lot of nonsensical "caveats" even without a haircut. It might just as well happen that, if you carve in and get a conservative haircut, some official will get fuming with anger because you took away the pretext for refusing to promote you, and he'll find another pretext pronto - i.e. you'd end up without long hair and without a promotion.
Then again, they may suspect that you want a promotion and that your growing your hair means "If you don't promote me, I'll annoy you by growing my hair." Maybe they think you're just calling attention to yourself. Again, why did the job offers arrive only after you started growing your hair?
If you do consider a haircut for your coveted job (I don't blame anyone for doing this even though I recommend against this in many situations), I'd really make sure that there are no other political imponderabilities, and that hair is the TRUE reason.
Also, I'd only get it short just above the collar, but keep it long on the top and sides (slick it behind the ears), then it'll look conservative, and it'll take less time to grow again to the length you want. Maybe you'll find a respected high-ranking official in your own political party with a hair-style that's at least longish.
You do look a lot better with long hair, in my eyes. And, I've had several "good friends" who told me that long hair doesn't suit me, but they have stopped warning me about all that a long time ago.
Bonne chance en tout cas!
Hans-Uwe
Hans-Uwe, your questions answered below, point by point.
==> YUP!!! Although public-sector media companies in France have been incorporated as private entities since 1986, they are still totally or (in this case 80%) partly Government-owned: so the Government tends to keep a close eye on what goes on in them. All appointments are vetted: in this instance it was a job as director-general, i.e. n° 2 of that (small) company.
==> My current job in a Minister's private office, and the one before that which was also in the (public) media sector, were both "offered" when I had short hair, via a semi-political route which happened to involve the same senior close friend. So this was not the first job offer I have received, nor, I hope, the last.
==> This, of course, is possible as the French political establishment ARE renowed as control freaks... But even if it comes into play, it isn't the main motivation lol
==> I agree here: it's likely the Chairman of that media company used hair as pretext: I suspect he found me too trendy for his liking and the hair was a convenient, visible reason for "objectivising" this.
==> Once again, they didn't (v. above). I had loads of job offers (if anything, more) BEFORE I started growing it: people in my line of business seem to spend more time pondering what their next job is going to be than carrying on with the current one lol. The only difference is that after I started growing it, hair suddenly became an issue on the job front and loads of people including many friends have started begging me to cut it for the sake of my image, career etc.
==> That's EXACTLY what I intend to do if I cut it: trendy, long over the ears, shaggy-style : my hairdresser and I have been discussing the details for weeks. I'm on holiday till the end of August, so the haircut, if any, will be taken after an extended "three-week rule" period.
==> Thanks for the compliment.
Hi Astorg,
thanks for taking the trouble to answer in detail. Maybe I should count myself lucky for not having to work in a highly politicized environment like yours - listening to the news from time to time, I'd say, doing effective work in such an environment is tough.
Glad you try to get/save as much length as you can - I just voted "laisse pousser" on your site... (Jason has a polling element on his site, too) - If you do need to cut it, I'd also keep the bangs and the top hair long all the way to the back - I wouldn't even get it cut shaggy or layered, if it can be helped... I just hope you get into a position where you enjoy your work and where no-one can harrass you with "well-meaning" advice over hair. I also hope that your "carreer mentor" friend turns out to be a true friend who understands that happiness requires both a good carreer AND being allowed to be yourself.
By the way, when I visited Singapore a year and a half ago, and my long hair did not cause any problem at all, and I even know of at least one renown Singaporean university professor (he's German, by the way) with a long pony tail. However, the sign you show on your site was in use at Changi airport in the 1970's and 1980's, I believe.
Best wishes, and, have a great summer!
Hans-Uwe
I'll comment on two things after saying welcome to the board!
1) You've identified something very important about living and that's "what you really want to do". I think you have to weigh that job that you've been eyeing for 8 years (that's a long time professionally) against how strongly you feel that you MUST have long hair. Frankly, it sounds like the job is more important to you, and there's nothing wrong with that. Doing work that is really important to me is big in my book and should not be ignored on principle, especially if the principle of havinng long hair is not high on your list.
2) You asked about your friends' comment that you don't look good with long hair. That's a very subjective question for ANYONE to answer, and your friends may or may not be telling you what they really think. In other words, there could be several motives.
I don't know you. I've seen one picture of you with long hair. My subjecive opinion is that with it combed forward as you have it in the picture, it looks unkempt and a little wild. Now, you are clearly in the awkward stage, so some of this is unfair. Also, it left me wonderinng what you would look like if you brushed it all back. I can see how conservative government types might look at your hair as it is and ob ject. But then, they probably would not feel better about it if it were 10 inches longer and put back in a ponytail, either.
For what it's worth. As I have long said here, a man growing his hair out is on a personal journey whether he realizes it or not. Best wishes to you on yours.
Robert
That is good advice from Robert, and I would only add that:
You must ask of yourself:
what you want, how badly you want what you want, what the consequences of denying yourself of what you want are, and why do you want what you want.
What does the new job mean to you?
What does having the hair mean to you?
What does being who you are mean to you?
Do you want what you want because you think it is what you are supposed to want or because it is really what you want?
Well good luck with whatever you do.
Bragi
Bonsoir Astorg,
I definitely confirm that the argument "long hair do not suit you !" is NOT valuable. Many friends of mine had told me that, and they changed their mind (!) 1 year later. Seems to be the "be like me !" syndrom. Sheeps that become dogs to bring back "deviant" sheeps ...
If it is really a hair lenght problem and not something else (as Hans-Uwe suspected),
if you can not convince you highly ranked "friend" that competence does not depend from hair lenght (!)
if gelling hair to make them look shorter is impossible
then you might consider to make an exclusive choice, depending on the priorities of you list, as Robert said .
Courage !
Garath
I've worked in ultra-exclusive environments in Paris myself with long-ish hair (bank HQs, high-end consultancies) and have been criticized for my hair length (which was just over the collar at the time, tucked back behind the ears). My honest opinion - if this is your dream job, get a haircut. The job market is not so fluid in France, you may be waiting a while (or forever) for another dream job to come along. It is wonderful that you have a mentor looking out for your career, if you do not follow his advice he may question your judgement and committment to a career.
ALSO I'm generally a fan of long hair on men. But in your case - to give some tough love - I think you look best in the "sideways view" photo. Your current length makes you look older, and emphasizes your jowls and forehead.
Hi John,
I'm just adding my perception - I don't think that Astorg looks older with longish hair, and even if he does, looking older may help to be considered for certain posts. However, I admit, the sideview is definitely an ultra-conservative look that would amply fulfill the requirements for certain slots.
And, even though the "establishment" in London tends to be quite short-haired, too, I have to say that, as a professional, I had no problem getting the jobs I needed when working in the UK 10 years ago - of course with a pony tail reaching a bit below my shoulders.
So, with the wonderful EU at our disposal, the employment market is a lot bigger than just any one of our countries. Depending what Astorg really wants, he has lots of options.
Just my three (Euro-) cents or two (British) pence :-)
Hans-Uwe
To a true Parisian, "move to London" is NOT an option! : )
How very true, particularly an English turncoat!
Many thanks to John for his perceptive comments: we seem to have a lot in common, and he is welcome to get in touch with me via my website, I would be interested to know more about his Parisian experience. Fundamentally, what he says basically matches my own gut feeling as well as that of my closest friends. I realize it goes against the strongly-held opinion (on this board) that “long hair suits every one” but sadly, that is not the case in every environment and France is not, on the whole, a longhair-friendly place: the worst bigots, oddly, seem to be middle aged women – the glares one gets! – and young gay men. Coz the aggro is most penalizing at work... My journey into teh longhair world has given me amazing insight into intolerance...
Anyway, it looks as if I'm heading for a cut (slightly) within the next few days and get back to you all with updated pics.
Just FYO, this is what my hair looked like when I started my current job (plus a couple of updates taken today)
My hair before and after: additional pics
Thanks to all for their support!
Well, seeing how badly you have wanted this new job opportunity , if i was you i would conform and comply and cut my hair. Your hair isn't very long, only a years growth, and i doubt you would be able to grow it much longer in your current job without building up pressure against your superiors.
It's a difficult choice between money/career versus individuality and self freedom. I think the former might be the better option in your situation but that is entirely your decision to make. You look good with the shaved head, kinda like a Vin Diesel 'macho' look. Your friends say that "long hair doesn't suit you", i actually agree with them. It makes you look much older and narrower in the face. You look like Keith Richards from the Rolling Stones, lol. I think the short haired 'professional' look is best suited for your job and situation. Good luck with it all. Jean.
Yup, it looks like I'm headed for a cut: initially just back to a shaggy cut, the Vin Diesel look (very popular in France, 90% of under 30s wear it in Paris) may come later...
I must be one of the very few people here who have been advised to cut their hair by several (two out of three who expressed an opinion) members of this board, on BOTH career AND suitability grounds!
Thanks for the comments, further pics as rquested by some of you here...
As I'm not much of an expert on rock music (I listen to classical music only), I was rather nonplussed by this one and google-ised Keith Richards's pics to get an idea. I must admit the resemblance struck me. The only question though is, what stage am I at? Stage 1 was OK; things seem to have deteriorated afterwards...
As this is a hair site I thought I would comment on the hair part of the issue. I work in local government in the UK and have waist length hair. This has become longer over the years and I have been promoted to more senior positions.
When I first started I wore my hair loose then later in p/tail. I guess the best time was wearing it in bunches although I don't think it helped my career!
I then adopted a clear policy of maintaining my hair up in a bun which is very quick to do and is very neat. I guess that is the key - tidness of your hair. So past few years I have never worn my hair anyway other than a bun in work and it has never been an issue at meetings etc.
Good luck - long hair is our right and we must fight for that.
I don't understand when they say it projects the wrong image, what image do they want? The image of the brown boring suit? It's a pity they dont try to be a government for the people, for all of the people including lokes with long hair. Now that would be a real representative government, oui?