September 2003: It took about 15 seconds to cut completely through my ponytail. It felt like forever.
As soon as it had been cut the tail was lifted up for me to see. I was horrified. It felt like a scalping, it felt like I had lost a part of myself.
It had been the first time I had grown my hair out. 2 years and 5 months give or take. It had brought me so much joy yet it had seemingly also brought pain to those closest to me. I had finally relented and given in and cut it. And instantly regretted it.
6 months passed by. I had short hair again as I had had for most of my life...that is except the 2 and a half years that had been offically labelled for me as my 'experiment'.
Yet it was no experiment and I yearned for what I had voluntarily given up...or had taken away from me.
So on 23 February 2004 I said "No more" and had my last short cut to this time. The second time growing it turned out to be so much harder than the first. Why? Well, this time I had a goal. This time I knew what I wanted. This time I knew this would take years to achieve.
And here I am posting to this wonderful place; this oasis in a desert of ignorance and discrimination, posting to say that as of today I have gone past the time I had long hair before.
This is a moment I have waited years for. In the future I know I will have short hair again...and long hair too. I may grow to my waist or I may maintain it where I am now. I may get a fringe or a rats tail or I may have any combination of these...the fact remaining that above all I love long hair, it empowers me and by the very existence of this board I can see that it empowers others. Yet that is all for the future...right now I have long hair again and I inted to keep it that way for quite a while to come.
Thank you to everyone who has helped me and befriended me over the last 3 and a bit years. It has meant a lot.
Hey Dean
I share in your happiness very much and am glad that you have made it to where you have. Isn't it a great feeling! :-)
Do I ever know the down-side of a haircut. It was almost 4 years ago that I "allowed myself" to get a buzz cut. As soon as it was over all I wanted to do was vomit. (Except when very young my hair had "always" been on the long to very long side.)
A day of victory for yourself to be sure!
Justin~
Hey, you don't need to scare me out lol!
I gongratulate you for achieving this state of happyness on your hair =) I can fully relate to what you feel, I always feel that way when I look back on the mirror. Gongratulations fellow! We're always be here to help you and watch your hair grow =) Good luck for the best future possible =)
And thank's for such nice words =)
...so glad you passed the point when you had cut your tail off. From now on it will be 'new territory.'
Glad you didn't just give up.
Good Luck!
Congratulations, Dean! I'm sure we all share in your happiness.
dino
Hi Dean,
great you're finally back to where you're supposed to be - and your hair - I know, it's a symbol of empowerment for most of us, after all.
That's a reason to celebrate - and, as you know today, if people who are close to you have a problem with it, that's THEIR problem, not yours, of course.
Good that you have been around since that time, I'm certain you've inspired many visitors of this board.
In that sense, lechayim to long hair and to your true self!
Hans-Uwe
Congratulations Deano, your right about the deep feelings longer hair gives one. I feel alot happier in myself and it feels natural to be this way.
You have always been super supportive, so a huge thanks for that, and long may your hair grow!! Dave