new thread
ARRRRRRRRRGH!!
Oh the humanity!! Is that so dificult for my parents to understand the meaning of when I say "I WANT BUTT LENH HAIR!" OH GOD!
I'm 18 years old this month and the problems already beggin! My father told me we would have to give some papers to the state because of my rights to vote now that I'm an "adult" (rubish) and I asked him about the military service, which I heard that was not obligatory now... He just said "oh well, if it is, it will be only two months either ways, and only after you finished university, 5 years from now"... I would do the military service, really... but what about my hair!!!? In 5 years I wioll have achieved my goal and I won't let anyone cut it!
But my father still believes that in a 5 years time I will have passed for lots of hairstyles, which prooves he doesn't take me serious... nor my mother!
Now does anybody here knows wheter the military service is still a demand??
My father didn't do it, because he asked for conscience objector (I don't know how it's said in english)... I will surely do the same if possible, I'm not gonna EVER, and I mean EEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEER! cut my hair... Final dot...
Thank's for the help guys, and sorry, I'm really worried!
Parents can be difficult but they will probably mellow: They are probably worried about 'losing' a son as he becomes an adult.
I doubt that you have to do military service in Portugal but surely you can find out more easily at home? It is very likely that that a government website will tell you but if it has not been the talk of you and your friends the last few years I doubt it.
Tell me about it. I don't even want to tell my folks I want butt-length hair or something because I'm afraid it will result in about the same reaction. Well, maybe not, but I don't want to argue with them. I don't even want to talk about GRANDfolks who are reeeally old-fashioned. It's normal to worry about your hair though. If you're determined, I doubt anyone could really stop you from growing your hair. For me, if someone would, um, how to say it, "percieve" me differently with long hair, I will just walk away, no contact, period. With relatives it's another story, but I'm sure you can if not convince them, at least not argue/conflict with them. Think how hard it must be for, um, "alternative", gay, trans or whatever people.
By the way, compulsory military service in Portugal ended in 2004. For comparison, in Spain it ended in 2001. We still have it in Estonia, but it is very easy to avoid it and only like a few percent of people go there.
(Damn. I wrote a good post, but I lost it somehow)
Anyway, don't worry. Think about how hard it must be for, um, "alternative", gay, trans or whatever people. I bet if I told my folks I want butt-length hair that would result in the same reaction. Maybe not, but I certainly don't want to argue with them, that's why I don't like brining up hair-related topics. Especially with GRANDfolks who are extremly old-fashioned. I honestly don't know the right way to act in your situation, but I'm sure other people here know better.
Compulsory military service in Portugal ended in 2004, in Spain, for comparison, in 2001. We still have it in Estonia, but it's very easy to avoid it, in fact, only about few percent of people are drafted.
Hi João,
don't worry about what your parents say, just do what you have to do. I wouldn't talk about it without need. Just don't expect your parents to understand your wish to grow your hair. Avoid the topic. They only want to manipulate you into going short again.
By the way, your Dad shouldn't be able to sign any papers for you since you're 18 - congratulations, by the way!
Another thing: I'd check www.google.pt (páginas de Portugal) for Portugese military laws. Most European countries have abolished the military draft. And, if your Dad was a conscientious objector, it'll be even easier for you to do the same and avoid the military. I don't think that Portugese courts would force the military to drop short-hair requierments, like they did in Germany.
Off topic: By all means, do go and vote in general elections in Portugal! If all the parties and candidates are bad, choose the lesser evil. Allowing oneself to be disenfranchised is one of the worst things for a citizen of a democratic country.
Best wishes!
Hans-Uwe
There's no need to have to talk with them about hair then. In fact, make a POINT not to talk about it... Talk about something else (ANYTHING else), --- the weather, school, vacation, work, friends, politics, the news, your favorite hobby... you get the idea! Growing your hair out is not about talking, anyway: it is about *doing* something (or, in the case of growing hair, it's all about NOTdoing something, --- in other words, not cutting it)! No need to stop loving them just because they don't understand your desire to grow long hair; just politely, silently GROW it. Period. (End of problem!!!)
- Ken
I have never heard of that, none of my cousins or other family members have been drafted (they are all portuguese and live in portugal). Can i ask how old is your father because mine is 64 and he along with many of my uncles were drafted in 1961 and had to fight in that war in angola without question.
"I have never heard of that, none of my cousins or other family members have been drafted" Recently i mean, in the last 10 years or so.
Thank you guys =)
Actually I talked with my dad about it at launch time and he told me that military service is not demanded anymore =) Anyways, thank you for all the suport =)
About not talking to them about my hair, i actually do that already, they are the ones who run in that topic (my mom mostly). She truely believes I'm in a phase and will eventually cut my hair... Oh well, she'll see in a few years.
Thank you =) And to clear things up, my relationship with my parents is one of the best I can think of. We are just diferent, but that's good as well =) Thank you ever so much for the suport fellas =)
I'm sure you feel relief knowing that armed service isn't compulsory and it's very good that you're enjoying a positive relationship with your folks. Your mom bringing up the topic may be borne out of concern for your future which I suppose any caring parent might do... it's up to you to quietly show that your personal choices aren't going to adversely affect the course your life takes. The best thing for you to do is be appreciative that she cares enough to express concern- however misguided it may be. Differences are inevitable. Hopefully your mom and dad can respect yours.
It has calm youngster, already it is not obligator, alone for volunteers. You only have to have the registado name there and to go to the day of the Armed defense where it consists of making demonstrations to try to convince the staff to enter as voluntary… Still I remember when there I was to the some 3 years to put the adjournment and had ordered me even so because already she was not necessary. LOL
I know what you mean, my parents are pretty much the same way. I want butt length hair too, but I didn't tell them because they would be like "No you don't" as if they know what I want.
surprisingly, my grandmother, who lives with us, is more open minded than my parents. She told me, if something makes me happy, then it was okay with her.