new thread
Working as a contractor in New Orleans during the week, I go back to Texas to spend weekends with the family in the small conservative town we live near the NASA Johnson Space Center. Most people in my town are part of the aerospace industry or related engineering disciples. The last couple of trips I have been getting into the "what am I doing" mindframe, being a 52 year old businessman and father of 3 teenagers once again growing out my hair. I have counted only two other men in my area with longer hair ; long enough to tail, but not extrememly long, in my last few trips. It seems the awkward stage is lasting about a month longer than forever and my virtue of patience is being sorely tested.
I'm committed to making it through the end of the year to reevaluate at that time, but at times find it difficult to stay the path. I did get a big boost recently when I ran into a "soccer mom" whose son I had coached, who expressed how good my hair looked longer. This sole beacon of positive reinforcement amongst the multitude of neutral comments (accompanied by disparaging looks) helped keep me focused; but they seem to be few and far between.
My primary source of support has been here; without this board I probably would have given in to cut my hair before now. So I am throwing it open and asking for suggestions; do you go through these "doldrums" and how do you work your way through them.
Comments would be appreciated.
Big George
This has happened to me but after a few hours I get over it. don't do anything impulsive. If you make a decision to cut it, wait two weeks and revisit the decision first.
I'm waiting until Christmas to reevaluate, and then go from there. We'll see at that time.
what am I doing" mindframe, being a 52 year old businessman and father of 3 teenagers once again growing out my hair.
Hi there - what you are doing is what you want to do. I am in my 50s too and I have not had long hair before - but now I want it very much. The pressure to conform can be huge but be strong and whatever you decide to do - do it for you and no-one else.
Enjoy and be happy
Bingo. For many years I caved in to the pressure; it was only after a major health event in my life that I realized what I wanted was the important thing; not pleasing others. Even doing it for yourself, though, a little positive reinforcement can go a long way.
I don't know about everyone else, but I know I have highs and lows with nearly everything, no I'm not manic-depressive, but riding the waves more or less. On the hair growing front, I haven't received much off-line positivity, but really I was not expecting it. What I do get is good, but little and far-between.
The 'what am I doing' comes all the time to me, so I just have to make sure I stay on the track of what I do want to do, and not get off focus, mainly looking inward to myself for that support to keep on track. Because really, no one else can do it but you. I ask myself in any endeavor, is this worth it? will the result be worth it? why do i want this result? is the journey to the result worth it? is the journey more fun than the result? and so on...
I agree wholeheartedly about the "looking within" for the primary support. I'm just at the stage where the journey is most annoying.
I would guess your experiences are similar to mine. If I recall, you're a banker. And I am dealing with banking and finance people to run my contracting business. Being in a conservative business in a conservative area makes the journey a little more interesting along the way.
Thanks for the reply.
George
Hi Big George,
I'm 51, and am doing this for the second around. Sometimes I look around and see that I'm the only one growing long hair. My wife tries to discourage me by saying that long hair doesn't suit me. She says I don't have the right head or face for it. On a rare occasion, one of our customers will give a word of encouragement, which pleases me.
I have learned to just go with what makes me feel happy inside. You have to go with what your heart tells you. If you hold your head up high and with confidence, then others will see you for the gentleman you are, long hair or not.
Bruce
Hmmm, is it scary to look into that mirror and see my ugly puss staring back at you?
I could have written your post word for word. You're right; we're at the point where we need to do what is right for us, not others. The support on this site does make a difference; it's reassuring that I'm not the only one having these issues.
Thanks for the post; keep us updated.
George
Big George, it sounds like you have been convinced you need a reason to grow your hair as if merely wanting to was not enough. You have to shake off the mindset that long hair can be out of place on people age 52, businessmen, and fathers of teenagers. I bet you don't think that about the other guys here who are in those categories so go just as easy on youself.
The only answer you need to "what am I doing?" is "I'm growing my hair long." Get comfortable telling that to yourself with a big grin and in a voice filled with pride. You'll also have a handy answer for others who ask.
Elizabeth
You may be right; maybe not a reason, but looking for justification when back home amongst the others.
No problem here; just riding the roller coaster of life like everyone else, and looking for a few kindred spirits when reaching the bottom swell.
I know what you mean about not getting much positive feedback on your long hair. I am 43 and I wonder sometimes why I am doing it too. Most often I get no reaction, I guess people don't know what to make of it. Really the only place I have heard anything really positive is here. Of course when I had short hair its not like I had lots of compliments either so it hasn't been any harder on me than short hair was so I figure I might as well stick it out. Its not like you have to keep it if you really do decide to change your mind after an appropriate waiting perios.
Keep going George, we can stick it out and encourage each other. Time later for decisions :)
Yes, there is later for decisions, as you say. Thanks for the feedback; sometimes a little support goes a long way.
Three teenagers and you haven't torn your hair out !?? HA!
You are growing your hair for you and it makes you feel good, so others opinions or lack of same makes no difference.
Post a photo here and we will fawn all over you with compliments !!
WWT
Yea, but there has been times when theirs has been in peril from me!
So very true, but sometimes an "attaboy" or positive comment goes a long way when you're not at the top of your "game" that day
May do so shortly; compliments would be appreciated. I'm just afraid Ken might ask me to go dancing!
Big George
"...I'm just afraid Ken might ask me to go dancing..."
Well Now, That REALLY would be a compliment AND an "attaboy"
But the REAL question is...
Does he lead, or follow?
- Ken
I guess I lead. My wife says I'm too onery to follow anyone.
Big George
Hey, I resemble that remark!
- Ken