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This story might be helpful for any of us that are waaaaaaaaay past puberty, --- in fact, I credit Big George for inspiring me to write it! Apologies over the story's length; but the message I think will prove worth it...
The first time I started seriously growing my hair long wasn't until I was in my late 30s (which now sounds so-o-o-o-o-o YOUNG to me!), --- May of '91 being the official last short haircut. I was *very* self-conscious during the awkward stages; but because I had wanted long hair all my life (an understatement), I stuck with it, --- although frequently asked friends & family for reassurance that I didn't look "too" horrible (lol).
At one time I remember asking a friend of mine, "Does it look like I'm some sort of old fart trying to pretend like I'm a teen again, growing this hair out long like this?" I am forever grateful for his kind answer: "No, it just looks like YOU are growing your hair out long like this!"
I achieved my first genuine full ponytail just in-time for my 40th birthday. About 3 or 4 years later (and several inches longer, wearing it in more than one hair-tie by then), I decided I wanted to go back to shorter hair, maybe in sort of a mullet-style. I accidentally told a co-worker, --- a young guy just out of college, who I thought would totally "approve". I was shocked when he whipped his head around and literally screamed at me, "NO! NO! NO!!! DON'T CUT IT!!!!!! YOU'LL HATE IT!!!!! I LOVE YOUR PONYTAIL!!! IT LOOKS RAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He was actually jumping up and down by this point, unable to stop screaming, --- and I had no previous clue that he had any emotion whatsoever attached to my hair before this (his comments had always been totally non-existent before this incident). The only way I could get him to stop screaming at me, in fact, was that I finally said, "OK, I'll definitely reconsider, --- I'll just go in and only trim off the split ends then." He finally calmed down... and I did as I promised him (although the experience left me surprised as hell that ANYbody cared)!
Unfortunately, another 3 - 4 or so years later, i DID impulsively cut off my hair in Y2K (which by then was very nearly waist-length). But, as devastating as that experience was (I deeeeeeeeply regretted it afterwards), it taught me a huge lesson: I discovered through that very experience that I am a longhair for life! And, even more interesting is the fact that during my 2nd time around of going through the "awkward stages", I didn't give one hoot what anyone thought of me or my hair, --- I just wanted it long again!!
When I was a teen, my father wouldn't allow me or my brothers anything other than his military-style standards of hair length to be permitted in his house. When I left home at age 18, I grew my hair out long-ISH; but I had many jobs that wouldn't permit my hair to be longer than collar-length. Then by the time I reached my 30s, the jobs I had were technically "OK" with long hair on men by then; but I found the only obstacle still standing in my way was my own self-consciousness, because of worrying over it being socially "acceptable" for me to have long hair, due to my age...
Well, here I am at age 53 now, and let me tell you...
Age has NOTHING to do with hair-length!!!!! Period. I've wanted long hair for a long, long time, --- and I now realize that every single obstacle that was ever in my way of having long hair was unfair (either society-imposed, or even more sadly, SELF-imposed)... I've EARNED this mane through the mean old, "School of Hard Knocks"!!! And I agree with what Bill has said many times on this forum: that growing your hair out results in just as much "growth on the inside", as growth of the protein strands on the outside!
- Ken
I meant to say a thank you for 2 things:
1) Thanks in advance to all who took the time to read my long post, and;
2) Thanks also to all the people who gave me such fun and/or complimentary replies to the pics I posted last week.
I sometimes "disappear" from being able to keep up with the board, due to occasional long work hours and/or other stuff occuring in life; but I did at least get a chance to recently catch up on the reading part, if not the replies. So again, thanks!
I'll be 53 next week and I took a completely different
route. I started growing my hair in the 60s when the Beatles
started growing their hair.
The time came when the Beatles broke up, John Lennon cut his
hair, but I kept mine long. It remained waist lenght up until
the 80s. I then made the mistake of getting a buzz cut, then
grew it into a mullet. It was at the point where it was
very short in front, close to waist length in back.
I finally gave up on the mullet after the umpteenth time
of getting the concept through the thick skull of the
hair care professional. After giving exact directions for
langth, etc. the hair care professional got it wrong so
again I got a buzz cut, started growing it again.
But from 1964 to today many of the years I had waist lenght
hair. It was only during the 80s that I had the buzz cuts,
and the mullet.
It took lots of years to grow the mullet, the hair care
people never could get the concept.
So I finally buzzed it off and went back to waist length
hair all around.
Great speech Ken !!
When I first found this board several years ago, I posted a question as to whether an "Older Guy" like myself would be silly to attempt long hair. A wonderful regular at the time (Baldy the Eagle....wonder where he is??) replied with encouragement and the advice to "Go for it !" I am delighted with my hair now and the "internal growth" that came with it.
I live in the Southwest U.S. where everything is casual....it is now commonplace so see many older guys (gray, white, salt/pepper and thinning) with long hair.
A couple of years ago while standing in a line, I noticed an older black gentleman in front of me sporting a large, heavy gold earring and I gave him a compliment on it. He said "I've always wanted one, but waited until I was 65 to do it". I replied "Yeah, be too; I waited 'til nearly 60 to grow my hair out". The cashier cut in with "Well, Why did you two silly boys wait so long???" So I guess the moral of the story is in the words of Baldy; "Go for it".
Thanks for sharing
Walter White Tail
Hey Walter,
Baldie's still posting elsewhere and here too from time to time if I recall correctly. Just keep an eye out for the posting name "bte" these days. :-)
Elizabeth
AHA !! of course, "bte"
Thanks
Thanks Ken,
Your story just adds more weight to the argument against cutting my hair, even though I have been contemplating doing that recently. Too many people are telling me not to because I will instantly regret it. Dave M. even said he hoped I didn't have to find out the hard way. I just have to stick it out till thw awkward phase passes.
And yes, the main obstacle does seem to be oneself, and it does seem to give us not only external growth, but internal also.
LukeB
Excellent 'Testimony'! I think older men with tales look very distinguished! People tend to admirer more mature males who have been blessed
with enough hair to grow a mane--even if those same people do NOT like to see longer hair on a younger male.
I have seen older males wearing braided or segmented (using hair ties) tails, wearing a nice suit jacket (with an open collar shirt and no tie) looking so distinguished and professional!
In fact, many assume they are professors, lawyers, artists, etc.
Almost all young men are able to grow their hair long, BUT few older males have enough hair to do the same. And so long hair has a completely DIFFERENT meaning on a mature male.
So CONGRATULATIONS on growing your hair long and doing your own thing.
Good Luck!
Ah, I've been promoted from "Old Fart" to "Inspirational Old Fart". Thanks, Ken. It's wonderful being described as something printable in a public forum!!!
I DO appreciate your printing your story. Although we are all on the same journey, those of us who have started it later in life sometimes face different issues. And as I have said many times, having a "kindred spirit" or several who are at the same point in life is a big plus in this journey.
I was with my son this weekend at a soccer tournament in College Station, Texas (home of Texas A&M University), and it was also check in weekend for the students. Once again, although there were several younger people with longer hair, very few of the parental age group sported locks of any sort (I counted three others). It was not a major concern; I am comfortable in my "unique" status now due in a large part to this board.
So, Ken, with your kind words, long hair, and board position, I officially designate you "O.F. 1" (not to be confused with A.F. 1, which I'm sure would give you a real thrill!). No official motto yet, but I personally tend to use "I may be old, fat, and ugly, but don't count me out yet!).
Big George