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How, I hear you ask, can there be any relation between growing long hair and quitting smoking?
Ok, here we go.
I'm well and truly past the two week rule and still thinking of cutting it. There are many reasons:
1. Awkward phase is driving me insane. All the flicking of my head back and forth to get it out of my eyes is murder on my neck, a neck that has given me hell all my life.
2. Not happy with how it looks in profile. The top half of the back of my head sticks out a bit further than most. And one side wants to grow at a funny angle. I don't know if this is natural or is being caused by the damage of getting foils a year ago.
3. Still not happy with what long hair and muscles look like together. I don't want to look like a wrestler. To me, short hair goes very well with a nice body. My priorities seem to have changed.
4. So much work involved, especially when your hair is prone to get greasy real quick as mine does.
I have spoken to many longhairs or people who've had long hair before and they all say exactly the same thing: "If you cut it, you'll regret it" and "Everytime I've cut it I immediately decided to grow it back".
To me, not having it cut when you desperately want to is like not having a cigarette. The craving is there but you know you'll regret it if you give in. I have to say quitting smoking was easier than this.
It's really stupid, but I feel trapped. If I do nothing, there will be a number of ways that I'll be unhappy. If I go ahead and cut it, I'll still be unhappy. I don't know which way to jump. This is really driving me mad. It's constantly on my mind.
The one saving grace about this whole thing is that if I cut it, at least it will grow back.
Does everyone else go through these mind games?
LukeB
Guy, you have a couple of options until it is long enough to tie back. First, wear a hat or something. Second, use hair gel.
There's no 'wrestler look'. You'll look just as much like a wrestler with short hair as you would long hair. If you really don't wanna look like a wrestler, just don't walk the streets wearing boots and trunks. And besides, as you'll be aware muscles don't grow overnight...you may as well at least wait 'til you're ripped by which time your hair will be long enough to see the compatibility in the flesh.
I know it gets annoying as I too do some form of workout every day. But, once you get past the awkward stage it'll be much easier.
Basically, in my opinion at least, there's no point cutting your hair based on predictions/assumptions of future problems. Reach your goal and experience it, remove all doubt; that's the only way you'll know for sure if long hair's for you.
Matt
I would point out there was a time many years ago when many of the wrestlers had long hair. Many of them have cut their
hair since along with the quality of the story lines.
There really is no one "wrestler" look. Many wrestlers have
certain personaas they attempt to project.
You know, anything can be turned into a trap. Religion, in my experience (I've got LOTS of religious experience) is an easy one to see. You sign on for comfort and support and direction, and somewhere down the line, the religion has taken over your freedom to choose and respond to life right in front of you.
Politics, money, certain friends, cars, jobs. They can all do this. Having long hair is not a moral judgment about who you are. Being free to grow your hair or cut it is the key. You've waited two weeks (the two week rule is a good one). You are still not happy, and and you can articulate why. And, as you say, your priorities have changed.
Sounds to me like the next thing to do is to go get a hair cut. That's not blasphemy. This is not a religion. This is your life. You are the only one who gets to live it. If, somewhere down the road, you decide for whatever reasons to try long hair again, you can do that to!
Best wishes for you,
Robert
Thanks. If I do cut it, at least it's not the end of the world, but it will feel like the end of an era.
LukeB
Guess what...I don't think you really have the desire to be a longhair. Nothing
wrong with that but you better just admit it and get your hair cut.
Even at this early phase of the Long Hair Journey there should
be EXCITEMENT about seeing your next i/2 inch of growth...
Instead, you already hate the idea and want a haircut! In fact,
you are saying things like: "not having it cut when you
desperately want to is like not having a cigarette."
If you do not genuinely desire
to be a long hair, you will never make it through the awkward phase.
Be true to yourself. And above all...be HAPPY.
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to get greasy real quick as mine does.
Now I have waist length hair and love how it looks in a profile.
I love how the hair and muslces look together. Esepecially when
I leave the gym.
For me short hair gets greasy much faster. Also I have the added
problem with short hair it sticks straight up until it gets some
length.
Ultimately it is your hair, your head. So it is up to you
whether long hair is for you.
I don't buy it. A few screw ups where the hair care stylist
did what they wanted not what I wanted cured me of any desire to
get a haircut.
On the other hand I hate smoking with a passion.
How about a pony tail?
I would point out if my hair were short it would stick straight up. It has to have some length for it to lie down.
Ultimately it is your hair, your choice.
No. I find it very easy to grow my hair long, avoid haircuts.
I also hate smoking and cigarettes.
Life is too short to spend time fretting about the length of your hair. If it is on your mind this much you probably need to make a change.
When all is said and done, the only one you need to satisfy is you. You have to determine what is best for you in your current situation and frame of mind.
There is an abundance of support here for growing your hair long. That is why this board is here. If this resource is the one reason why you have not cut your hair and are constantly in a state of flux about it, you may be using this advice for the wrong reasons.
Determine your priorities; list them and classify them. Then do what needs to be done to make yourself happy, as the others have said. If you truly would be more comfortable with shorter hair then go for it. This board exists not to give you a reason to keep you from doing what you want, but as a resource to suport those who choose long hair, and to give the proper information to those who are determining what their choice may be.
Ultimately, we support your decision as long as it is what you truly desire.
Big George
Nope, never have. Two weeks and still not happy? Time to cut it.
Good luck.
do what i do, where it in a short pony tail and put a hat on. like you im 12 months into growing and going through the same mind games but will not cut.
I do not know about everyone else,but my mind never goes in these directions. I make a decision and stick to it.
Luke,
I've told you in the past how fantastic I think your hair is. We're all pulling for you to complete the journey.
I'm starting to think, however, based on your repeated posts like this, that you may not be a true longhair in the sense of it being an identity thing with you. This is not a criticism, just an observation.
I just don't feel right with short hair; you apparently don't feel right with long hair. It may be time to cut.
Jason
Hi Luke,
just a question: Does anything that you are thinking about your hair right now match a line you heard before? Is there a "posthypnotic" line you swallowed years ago that is coming to fruition?
I may be wrong, but you seem to feel very critical about your looks in many ways, and your hair just does not seem to have a chance to "get it right"...
Are you a "perfectionist" as far as your hair goes? Does it have to stay in place "perfectly"? This kind of perfectionism might make it difficult for you to continue the journey.
Try this: Just take a moment of meditation to mentally "release" your hair from the "obligation" to grow in perfect "discipline" according to exacting standards, and give it permission to grow just as it is. Control it with gel, hair spray etc, if needed, though.
The result would be that one day, in a few months, you will discover "Wow, it's starting to look good after all!"
Hope you make it there. I'd continue until it's REALLY long (like three years), and if you then still decide that it's wrong for you, then, at least you have tried well.
I do think your looks are improving continually as your hair grows on. It makes you look more open and relaxed in a way.
In that sense, all the best!
Hans-Uwe
I have to use this as an analogy... sometimes you just gotta let things slide for a little. I worked on this guitar body for a long time, like 2 months or so. First time I didn't do so good and I stripped and re-finished it again. Then now this time it didn't come out perfect either, but I let it slide cause it was better than last time, and the dings I made by accident adds to its characters. If I keep quitting halfway through this (cause it didnt come out perfect) I wouldnt be showing you this picture now.
Well, after trying all of the "non-cutting" methods to try to help you, which is probably your best bet to do first of course... mybe the next step might be a nice trim?
It will shape your hair nicely and hopefully will calm your mind about your appearance. The let it continue to grow longer, but more tamed and well groomed. Perhaps this will allow you to continue, happily, towards long hair. Albeit you will, as you know im sure, cause yourslef to have a longer journey, maybe it will help you get through the tough few months ahead.
Just a thought, and definitely what makes sense to try before cutting it off!
Acceptance before coping, but Coping before trims, but trims before cutting. Or so I feel.
~Rome
Luke, do you have a pre-conconceived idea of how you will look with long hair? I feel you look just fine at the moment and are handling the awkward phase very well.
You also say that some of your buddies have complemented you on your hair, so listen to them too.
I cycle around 200 miles a week all year round (road and trail), and i get covered ina ll sorts of crap and get very sweaty, and yes it can be more of a problem with some hair rather than the shaved head. But my growth feels really great deep down inside and I love it.
Also I try not to look in the mirror too often, in fact I looked in the mirror this morning after not really taking any notice for a while and thought "Hey, cool".
I hope you make the right decision.
Thanks everyone,
Sounds stupid, but I guess I kind of needed permission to do it which many of you have given. I've made an appointment for a haircut on the weekend, but not sure yet how much I'll have cut off. We'll see.
If I regret my actions at least it WILL grow back. Will keep you posted.
LukeB