new thread
Ehem... =S
Today was my first day at university... Well, I have to tell you first that here is Portugal people do something to the new students in each school. The older students of each school simply humiliates the new students all day long (this happend in the first day, meaning there are no classes in the first day).
Well, it's not that I am truly against it but I hate those things. I've spent 5 hours there simply doing ridiculous things along the new students and I actually could go home early then (but without a shoe, since they took a shoe away from each one of the new students to make sure noone would leave before they felt like it). Anyways...
I know I'm generally diferent in every aspect, for actually there are people who liked being there singing stupid songs and eating 2nd hand onions (full of spit from other people) and jumping and running and screaming... Ok, really not my type, I rather stay home with my family so I simply came home.
Tomorrow it seems that I'll manage to go to the classroom, I don't believe someone would make me not do it so... I just want normal classes =S I've been trough things like this but whcih lasted for a couple of hours in the first day and then would be over. Tough in the universities this lasts all week. Anyways I'm going to make a check up on the situation tomorrow =P
Oh well...
I am simply wondering if it is me who am too pacifist or too shy, or too diferent I dunno. I just wonder why people do this things?...
It's not that I'm worried about something, I know there are people who didn't went today because they knew what would happen...
So what do you think??... The problem comes from me for now wanting to fit in the society I live in?? Or I am doing the right thing by following my own way and doing my own thing, even if everyone else aroung thinks I'm wrong??
I'm just guessing =S I'm pretty much ready for anything in life, I only need my parents and my sister with me to be happy =)What scares me the most is that they are the only thing I have... tough I wonder... Isn't it like this for everyone? Oh well...
Thank's for reading, I think I'd like to hear other people's view on this... =)
Hey Joao, I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you feel. I'd feel pretty much the same way, and events like that are the same reasons I'd never want to join a Fraternity.
I love going out and having fun of course, but I don't like one-sided events where all of the fun is had at the expensive of others. I think it's very inconsiderate and provides for a pretty stressful environment, especially for new students who I think should be welcomed rather than 'shamed' when they aren't even used to a curriculum yet.
It's hard answering in more depth because I think you've drawn a lot of conclusions for yourself already.
Of course I think you are right doing your own thing, and I think it's what most people do anyways, even the people having the inconsiderate fun are making choices for themselves.
In conclusion...you are not wrong at all, and you are definitely not alone. I'm sure things will settle soon and you'll find your place in the community, it's hard to make sound judgements after only the first day.
I wish you very good luck Joao, and I hope you're able to enjoy it in the next few days.
Hey Joao,
If I had to deal with stuff like that in the first days of going to university I'd get pretty angry to be honest, I'd say you did well to stay there for as long as you did. I think that people like those older kids do things like that because it's "gang" behaviour, unfortunatley people tend to act like idiots when they in big groups. For example, there's a group of kids who hang around where I live and if I walk pass them they will all say/shout things like "get a hair cut!" at me but when I see one of them on their own they don't have the guts to even say a word, especially If a give them a snarling kinda look hehe :P.
I used to take things people did/said to me to heart. I've found now that it's best to just try to put things like that past you. If those people aren't prepare to embrace and welcome you just ignore them if possible, I bet you're not alone with your kind of situation and you'll find you'll make friends with people who are also in your postion.
It's best that you're doing your own thing, over a long period of time you'll be able to look back and say to yourself "I did that for myself" and be proud of it. It will shape you as an individual.
Take care and good luck with university Joao!
Neil
Boy! I never knew that old university "tradition" called "ragging" still existed in Europe.
When I entered university in Britain in 1974, ragging had been abolished and replaced with a Freshers Week where the the students union would introduce students to life in the university, recruit members to special interest societies, familiarise them with university faciloties and the week ended with the grand finale -- a Freshers Ball which featured a live rock band performance with lots of student union prices beer.
Anyway, I've heard of worse than what you experienced.
I live in Malaysia and at universities in Malaysia and Singapore in the 60's and early 70's, I've heard of new students called "freshies" being made to serve the seniors and in some cases, the seniors rading their residence and giving them the "Royal Flush" treatment by sticking their head into a toilet bowl and flushing it.
I understand those excesses were subsequently banned and something like the orientation I experienced in Britain was adopted, though there were some students in Malaysian universities who still carried on with a softer kind of verbal humiliation during the ragging week.
I don't agree with ragging. Those in favour of it claim it's to get to know the new students better and vice-versa and to make all new students from different backgrounds humble before the seniors but why not just do like my university in the UK did and party for a week.
Charles
Hey João,
I'm sorry to hear that, even though such acts are tradition, your first day at university was a bad one. College life is supposed to be a place to make new friends, experience and interact with new cultures and lifestyles, and provide you with a sense of well-being. However, this sounds like the complete opposite, which to me is just wrong, and the kinds of acts you described wouldn't be tolerated here, at least at my school. Perhaps it's just a difference in American and Portuguese societies.
But you're definitely doing the right thing by just being yourself and not caving in to peer pressure or the lowness of the people doing this stuff. I know that when I first got to university that I didn't always fit in, whether it be for ideological or personal reasons, but I just did my own thing. Eventually I got to know a lot of people and am now the president of my residence hall. You'll find your place eventually, but until then, hang in there. Also, if you need any advice about college life in general, don't hesitate to e-mail me.
Best of luck to you in school! It'll all get better soon! =)
-James
Oi, Joao!
First congratulations on your starting university. You are going to love it.
Second, in America generally stuff like that is known as "hazing." For instance eating certain stuff or dressing up a certain way or singing in front of others, etc. I never was a fan of it either. When I was in high school, for the Beta Club induction, two other guys and I had to dress up in women's clothes and makeup and lip-sync a song in front of the whole school. I just made the most of it and had fun. Later in college, when pleding a fraternity, they made us do all sorts of things which I did not enjoy. Like serving meals and drinks and doing all sorts of errands. I later de-pledged as the time being devoted to that was hurting my grades.
Generally, things like this are rights of passage, sort of a primal ritual that older university students had to endure, so they take it out each year on the new students.
In a macro sense, atrocity foments atrocity. Atrocity commited thus arms the future for further atrocity to be committed. So goes the history of man...
I can understand why you don't like it. I am very emotionally sensitive, as I suspect you are. But in things like are going on this week at your university, I think they are more in good humor and a bonding ritual of sorts than any intent to harm any of the students.
While in the past right here in America, things of that nature have gotten out of hand in university hazing, I would imagine that you could avoid what you don't want to be a part of.
I would ceratinly go to class tomorrow and just watch what is going on. I would not worry about not participating. Any potential acquaintence who would not want to be associated with you on the basis of whether or not you participated in the hazing, well, they are not worth knowing.
Definitely do your own thing, but sometimes the social rituals can be fun if you regard them as they are, just fun and not serious. Take it with a grain of salt.
Boa sorte e estuda duramente e abracoes!
One advise about the taking shoe stuff... have an easily concealable flip flop hidden on your person or something, and wear disposable shoes, and when they take your shoe wear the flip flop and leave...
Some people get carried away with these kinds of pranks, and sometimes
people end up dying.
It's ridiculous, and you are certainly NOT at fault for not wanting to participate in such rediculous behaviour. Maybe you should have hid in a closet..he..he...
But anyway, this is just a way for certain individuals to 'prvove' their 'superiority' to others and to let off steam.
It sucks--expecially when you hate it.
You are right and they are wrong...but what can be done about it
if those in 'authority' allow it to happen?!
Education is a business, so like any other unsatisfied consumer people can get a refund and go elsewhere. Hazing is ugly behavior and any university that is not dismissing students for that behavior is not somewhere that values their students.
João David, there is something RIGHT with you for finding hazing stupid. There is nothing beneficial that comes from sadistic bullying.
Elizabeth
sisters and friends at university have told me that altho its bad its a good leveller and allows people get to know each other in your year
and you wont be thinking of home either!!
Hey Joao
Congratulations on being accepted at your university where you can study fasion design! (since I missed posting to that thread :) )
I had no idea that the "hazing" as we call it here happened to all new students at your universities. In the United States that only occurs when joining certain fraternities, not for every new student. Here students make the choice of whether they want to join a bunch of guys who do that kind of thing.
I personally have no understanding of why anyone would want to watch someone else being pressured into acting ridiculous. It is totally alien to me as it seems to be alien to you too.
Don't ever think there is anything wrong with you because you are more mature than people who are older in years. Maturity has little to do with aging :)
You are always right to follow your heart regardless of what the world would have you do, look at how fantastic you look despite the world's pressure to conform. Don't let small minds and jealousy make you doubt yourself. You have your family as the steady foundation on which you build yourself and I believe that what you choose as important shows itself in everything you do.
We stand behind you all the way João, we are here a fraternity as well in the positive sense of the word. I am sure you accomplish great things being your stubborn good natured self :)
I just walk away from these kind of events. I don't understand the purpose of them.
Here's the Wikipedia article about hazing:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hazing
They have the same kind of stuff here in Sweden too, i think it's soo ridiculous.