new thread
Hi guys,
I'm 33 and I'm new. I've been reading this board for a few months now but never posted.
But now, I really need your opinion. About 2 years ago my dear wife, who always liked short hair, asked me if I didn't want to let my hair grow. I agreed, so now 2 yeras later my hair is at my shoulders. I like it this way. In fact I like it a lot.
But she wants me to grow it even longer. To midback, even to my waist. Actually, I don't mind and want to give it a shot since I like long hair and secretly want to grow it longer as well despite what others (parents, family) say.
But a greater concernofo mine : now she wants that I go and get my ears pierced as well. Does she wants to turn me into a girl?
I love her very much. What should I do? I already talked to her about it and she thinks I'm chicken, that it is common these days for guys to wear earrings.
Cheers
You shouldn't get your ears pierced unless YOU want to do it. And since you seem to think earrings are feminine then don't do it. Myself, I wear 5 earrings continually and see nothing feminine about it. But that's my choice and nobody else's.
Luckily you like what she has chiseled you into. But, what is going to happen if she decides she wants you to have short hair again? Would you do that? If you want to get your ears pierced, then I would do it. I'd ask her why she wants you to do it first. I don't have earrings, but I think they're cool and have seriously considered it though.
Is she trying to make you into her ideal image? I would be quick to ask the motivation behind her request more out of curiosity than anything else. It would be fun to know what impressions or experiences led her to want her husband to be long-haired and have earrings. I don't think earrings are really feminine at all though.
Great that your wife has encouraged your secret interests ... I think your wife believes in compeleteness .... & ear rings with long hair is just kool , rings would contemplate your long hair ...if you have not given a shot y dont you give one ... may be u will like it ...
cheers
Sai
I think I am right when I say, your wife is reading historic love-stories where the wild pirate (long hair and earring) falls in love with a beautiful woman (your wife)
And now she will turn you into the man of her secret dreams :o)
i dont see how long hair and earrings translates to her wanting you to be a girl.
Hi Geoff,
first, congratulations to having a wife who is turned on by things that you like as well!
As far as the earrings go, I do think they look very masculine on guys with long hair. I'm certain many others share that perception, and most of those who don't couldn't care less. This is my experience in both the US and Germany. Thus, the "femininity" concern would seem unfounded to me. You can post a picture and ask for comments if you feel comfortable doing so.
Therefore, if there is even a chance you end up liking earrings, I'd go for it. (I have had pierced earlobes since age 20, so I'm biased.) If you end up disliking them, you can always take them out, and the holes will close quickly - unless you have had earrings for years. (Still, even after a few years, any remaining hole would shrink and become inconspicuous after you take out the earrings)
It's good to see that your wife does not only want new sexual adventures, but she wants to have them with YOU. Personally, as long as she doesn't want anything you'd dislike PER SE (like short hair ;-) I'd go for most of what she wants. - Certain "makeovers" can be great and sexy!
By the way, Jonathan Schwartz, the Sun Microsystems CEO, said in an interview that he keeps his hair long because his wife wants it that way.
Happy growth,
Hans-Uwe
Well said Hans-Uwe
Geoff,
It takes a strong man to step out side the common convention of his culture, but since we can see that there are so many problems in our culture, those of us who have a vision of a healthier society (of negotiation instead of fighting, of compormise instead of domination, etc. etc.) may be well advised to show that we are part of the future. Though not always made conscious nor fully explained, I think this is what is happening.
Sadly, our culture has put men in a box of limitations, rather than freedom, which some have understood to mean that men are violent, etc. etc. etc., and any deviation from the traditional male norm means that one is less than a man.
What a sad commentary on a country which once proclaimed itself to be the land of the free and the home of the brave -- and most of our historic patriots had long hair.
Let me go deeper anthropologically, regarding piercings. Personally, I do not like lots of piercings, but to each his own. I have three. Bilateral ears and one additional in my left ear, which I have had for 25 years. Now I wear small platinum hoops bilaterally, but a 3rd. often enough to keep that piercing open. Each of them has been done on a ceremonial occasion by a friend, and not at a piercing kiosk in a mall.
Anthropologically, I thinking piercing an ear is comparable to circumcision. I am circumcised, but not generally in favor of it. I think there is a deep meaning that says, we the adults could terminate you, but we do not and we mark you for our own.
If you and your wife have become closer and closer in your relationship through growing your hair, I suggest that you ask her to pierce your ears. You should find small studs which are hardly noticable made of a non reactive metal, and gold is fine. I can give you a clear and safe do-it-yourself method.
You will need to wear these studs one month without removing them. Removing them can be irritating. There is virtually no pain. There is some sensation of warmth as the blood courses to this site to provide wuite corpuscles to prevent infection. And you need to rotate them twice daily with peroxide or alcohol to minimize infection. After that they can be removed.
There are occasions when we may wish to remove our earrings, if we think they will close a door of opportunity for us, but I have not removed mine in the last ten years.
I have just learned that I am getting a professional award in my community, so it appears that bi-lateral earrings and long hair have not closed doors for me. Of course I endeavor to do my job well and be kind and respectful of other people.
Caledonian
I agree with Bragi, why does she feel the need to keep adjusting your image, maybe you should ask her what the desired outcome is, then you can just get all the changes done now and save time!!