new thread
A couple of weeks ago I posted about my mate who was with the woman from hell. Basically, he's in a band, i've known him since we were 14, he has hair to his bum and she was wanting to get engaged, make him mr bland and wanted him to cut his hair (to look 'normal') and more (much more, even wanted him to buy a house and get her name on the fkn deeds)
He dumped her!?!?? I cannot believe it - sorry if i sound over-hyper but i am!?!? she was horrible!!
please guys, get a nice girl, one who will like you for who you are and not try to make you into something you're not
Thank you to everyone who posted, sorry i havnt been online (pc trouble) you had the best advice and common sense i've seen in a long long time!!!!
He dumped her YAHOOOOOO!
Hi Asdis,
good to see that he escaped, albeit narrowly. He's a free man once more, and now he has a chance to find the right girl, i.e. the girl who wants the real him. I'm sure he feels relieved. Knowing about similar cases, it seems clear to me that he's been saved from an unhappy marriage that, at best, would have ended in divorce. I know that other board members can relate to that.
Good to see that you were able to assist him in making the right choice.
Hans-Uwe
Honest, I tried very hard not to be involved, lets face it its another persons life, relationship and business.
I can say the day i took him shopping (and he looked brilliant) was part of it, he admited we'd had such a good time as friends, a laugh and that's what he wants. He wants a girl who is his best mate and he told me he couldn't even remember the last time he & her laughed together. Quite sad really.
I'm now on the lookout for someone nice for him, he deserves it - and he's been so happy lately, i havnt seen him smile so much in a long time, a huge weight is off his shoulders!
Thanks Everyone
Cheers to him from all around! A WONDERFUL end to this story!
David
GREAT news Asdis. I am very glad to know your friend has chosen his future based on his own sense of judgement. Glad you didn't need to be the one in the middle of things, though I am also glad to know that you would have been.
Take care,
Shawn (Mr. Crow)
I rather be single forever than be with someone that wants me to be whoever he/she wants me to be. But I wonder if I will ever find someone who will love me for who I am...
I can relate a little to that. I dated a girl that was controlling and did not like my hair at all. :-( I guess she didn't like it because I grew it long after I started dating her. I got the whole, "Arn't you going to listen to your girl friend's oppinion" speech followed by "Guys aren't supposed to have long hair". Anyway, I dumped her like a disk array dumps a dud hard drive. :-)
Problem is, this made me bitter toward the whole dating / marriage thing. I have not even began to look into dating again.
ESDI
Hi EDSI your situation sounds so similar to others I've read on this board.Anyway I'm glad that you had the courage to dump her as such statements she made have no merit.Who is she to say how people are supposed to present themselves in public as she should worry about herself anyway.Sounds like the longhairs on this board do have the required backbone!Hair looks great by the way.Take care.Mark
I know i wrote a few days ago that i wasn't going to get into the psychology of anti-long hair attitudes but i'm going to anyway. : )
I think they fall into two categories. The first is people who are anti-long hair on men because it falls outside their comfort zone of conformity. they want everyone to fall into these nice ordered pigeon holes and don't like it when that doesn't happen. the other is farther out there, but here it goes: some people associate a certain sexual role with appearance. women who don't like long hair on men have been trained through life to associate short hair on men with masculinity, i.e. "manliness" in a sexual context, and long hair with femininity the same way. but you'll never hear them say all that, either because it would be embarrassing or more likely, because it's a subconscious process they have not fully thought through so instead they just say things like "I don't like the way you look."
Re, the conformity, in my opinion, those of us in the U.S. have around 25 years of mostly conservative political leadership to thank. Back in the 70s when Carter was president, long hair was getting more widely accepted along with a lot of other "counter culture" type things, then Reagan got elected and it seems, overnight, the country went massively conformist. Everyone got short hair, got all prepped out, and it has pretty much been like that since. And since 9/11 our society has almost become militarized. I mean, the conformity I see enforced in some companies is like a military appearance code. there are a lot of times when I feel like it's 1955.
I read somewhere recently, (can't remember where unfortunately) the comments of a social psychologist that when a society feels threatened, a lot of people react by having no tolerance for anyone who is unusual, different, eccentric, or has unconventional opinions. I think we have seen that in some ways since 9/11 but I also think that we're starting to have some sort of backlash because for example, I've been seeing more guys with long hair lately.
It's hard to say what my ex GF wanted. Some of it was more fasion trend based as she would also say, this is not the 70s. But there was control too as she would not let it go, and not support what makes me happy.
With hair changes over the decages, I feel this is more fasion trends changing and not so much political. Mainly, what is in and trendy, what is not. This is very common with teens.
Hair that gets all the way down to someone's bum is a MAJOR accomplishment in growth, --- and takes YEARS to achieve (I'm already into my 6th year of growth, for example, and my hair is only just now beginning to reach the top of my beltline). A reckless, selfish witch like that can only understand one type of language to communicate what she needs to hear from a guy: "Good-bye, honey, --- and don't look back!!!"
Introduce your friend to this hyperboard. He might want to get familiar with a place like this, should he ever end up dating another woman from hell in the future. The good news, though is that there ARE women out there who DO like men with long hair (and even prefer it)! I even came across a site once that was specifically for women who loved long-haired men!!
- Ken
Hi ken,
do you happen to remember the URL of that site?
Hans-Uwe
I buy prostitutes instead cause I'm so ugly.